I've been MIA for a little bit mainly because I got sick. Bleh. First it was just the sinuses, then it moved into my throat, and then into my chest. After that you know its all down hill from there. Because it was in my chest I couldn't breathe as freely and I got tired really fast. Just walking a little bit was exhausting. On Thursday, after walking around the mall for a bit we came home so I could write my paper and go to school but first I had to nap a little because I was so tired. Next thing I know I wake up an hour later with a bad headache and I'm super hot. I was so dizzy that I took an advil, turned on the AC and went back to sleep. 2 more hours later and I see Grant still downloading drifting videos on my computer and I notice that my seminar had already started. *shrug* oh well, at least I felt better.

So we went back to the mall and walked around the other phase, picked up a shirt, then came home to make soap. Yep, I had purchased a soap kit earlier in the day and grant got all excited about the possibilities. But dang! That shit is hard work! My first attempts turned out a little wrinkled, lumpy, or color bled. But hey, we were experimenting with some things. I didn't use the whole kit yet but so far we have some pretty cute hearts withing hearts, a turtle that looks like its underwater, and a whale within a clear block. I'd show you pictures but I don't have a digicam and it won't be another 25 days till grant get's a card reader for his *wink* shhh don't tell him. of course you know the card reader is mostly gonna be for me anyway. haha. ;P

There's a sister of someone I know that I really do not like. I met her for the first time the other week and everything was fine at first but after a while she'd just say some pretty blunt things and me being the sensitive person that I am, I was kind of hurt a couple times. Thank god she's going back to school soon so I won't have to see her again for a while. But I just feel kinda bad for not liking her. I mean, aren't I supposed to like the siblings of friends? well..not all the time I guess, but I just feel bad in this instance.

Tonight she answered the phone and asked who was calling [I hate it when people do this to me to begin with. like why be so dang nosy?] and I said "Maria" but apparently I said it in this "voice" because as she was getting my friend I heard her say "she all said *whiny voice* 'Maria' and used a different voice. haha" Like wtf? I'm sick yo. My voice may sound different and I normally don't say my name to begin with so lay off with the fucking critiques of how I talk and shit. geez. Makes me want to smack her upside the head!

*breathe*cough*hack*
sorry, had to vent. At least she's leaving soon...
voice my ass!

Ryan died in the hospital while reciting his vows to Victoria! WAH! so sad! And I liked his character so much!

I normally don't watch Young and the Restless very often but damn, this shit scene was sad yo!

Wooha!

First [and most important] lesson went very well...except for the fact that I ran out of time at the very very end. *shrug* Plus it's been pouring and dreary all day so the kids were kinda antsy.

Yay! Now all I gotta worry about is my methods lesson. Shouldn't be THAT hard right? *crossing fingers*

Time for ramen now. mmmm =)

Tomorrow is my much afeared double lesson day. Actually, the second lesson isn't so bad since it's just my classmates (all 5 of them). But tomorrow I give my very first lesson to my actual high school algebra class. WAH! Very scary! And don't ask why I waited until the end of the semester to do my first lesson. I'm just smart like that. Next week, my last week observing, I am giving my second lesson. Yes. Very smart indeed. >o.O<

Okay..time for me to freak out now...bye!

dammi!t!!! I forgot to watch Alias!!! wah! boohar. *sniff*

due to all this damn work, the next 3 weeks are surely going to SUCK!!!

i'm currently running on 5 hours of sleep, some pepsi, some mountain dew, and a glazed donut. also take into account that i've had only about 10 hours of sleep this whole weekend and i think i'm getting sick again.

not a good diet but fuckit. i'm tired. i'm taking a nap dammit. g'nite.

one lesson plan down, one to go. i just love how i have 2 lessons to give in one day. wheee.

now if only my hair would dry so i could go to sleep. dangit!

Went shopping yesterday...twice. Why twice? well, let me tell you my little story for the day...

Going to the crowded mall the morning after thanksgiving can be such a stressful time, especially when you're looking really hard for covered parking. But that stress is nothing compared to that of having your bf accidentally hitting a curb slightly while making a turn in the crowded parking structure. This event alone is enough to cause massive amounts of swearing and yelling due to a (slightly) scratched and dented rim. So we find parking quickly after deciding that covered parking isn't gonna happen and we proceed to the stores. Now here we are, one person being super pissed off that he didn't see the curb and the other person feeling like it was all her fault since it was her idea in the first place to go to the damn mall. Neither of us want to be there anymore but what else are we gonna do? So we walk into Waldenbooks and in about 10 minutes, give or take a few, i'm sobbing in the middle of the [extremely small and disappointing] children's section. Yeah...not good at all.

But wait...it gets better! After walking around for a couple hours and getting a few feelings out, we leave the mall having only purchased a box of christmas cards. We then drive speed along the freeway to 99 Ranch Market. Him taking his aggression out on the road and me taking it out on my kleenex. We finally get to the parking lot [after picking up a bulb for his car] and have a little heart to heart. Don't you love heart to heart talks in the middle of public places? There's nothing like crying there either! So yeah..then we had korean food and boba and then went home and he had to go to work.

Not having my shopping needs satisfied at all during the day I decided to just fuck it and go again by myself. Bought a gift at Alas...hit ward warehouse and almost bought a few things but decided to wait until after xmas [gosh i love cinnamon girl! *sniff*] and finally hit Comp USA for part of another gift. Considered buying myself some gifts too but those will have to wait a bit too. Altogether I didn't buy much of anything but I basically know what i'm getting everyone already. I'm just waiting a week or two until it's actually December. I mean, what fun is it to get a present at the beginning of December knowing that you have to wait like 25 freaking days until you can find out what the hell's inside?! Well, that's just how I'd feel. ^_~ So yeah...gonna go shopping in a week or two and get it all done then...hopefully.

Now I have to finish up my lesson plans. whee! *sarcasm*

Thanksgiving lunch went great. Very relaxed and i felt really welcomed!

Dinner on the other hand...I dunno. Just didn't get the right vibe i guess. =/

miss my family =(

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!! May you have lots of food today and enjoy much company. =) mmmm food.

and thanks wahine for the idea. hehe. totally forgot about that! =)

dammit. i was just reminded by my mentor teacher that I should bring something to grant's family's house. err..families's houses. dammit. what the hell am i going to bring? i sure as hell can't cook very well, especially since i haven't cooked anything but ramen and scambled eggs since at least august. dangit. i'm screwed. any suggestions?

so i ended up getting SUPER pissed off by the time i got home. part of it is my fault but I just wish some people would do what I secretly wish they'd do dammit!

but i'm going to try refraining from blogging these bitching/whining sessions for a while and see where that gets me. It *is* the holiday season afterall right??

...maybe its PMS. yeah. that's probably it. I should just go into hiding for the next week or so.

we now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

currently digging the new G.O.D. 4th album, especially the third track, Dashi. I'm also digging the new album by Uhm Jung Hwa. Dunno why, but i've always liked the songs she comes out with.

now if only i could find a place to dl Lee Jung Hyun's 3rd album. I've been trying for forever! eesh.

[have i ever told you how i haven't bought any cds since i was last in korea in july of 1999? hehehe. i think i'm too cheap to buy them now lol]

dude!!!! i'm soooooo tired!!!! I was at work for 10.5 hours today just trying to catch up on stuff and figuring out why i was short $100+!!! argh. so tired. so tired. I've been up for 14 hours already and I still haven't started writing up my SPED assignment. /me is screwed. at least I still have tomorrow morning. And in 30 minutes alias starts. yay! at least there's a silver lining right?

...and harry potter was tight yo. especially liked the wizard's chess near the end. wasn't all that impressed by quiddich if only because it was basically how my mind imagined it. ^_______^ i love my imagination.

gosh. i think i would've preferred to just have my test in the early morning instead of this 2pm, waiting all day to take it, shtuff. it just prolongs the agony if you ask me. Not like i'm ready for it in the least. i took the practice test and pretty much bombed it. *sigh* hopefully i'll get lucky and i won't have to shell another hundred bucks out to retake it.

okay..i'm off to school! wish me luck...i'll need it.

thanks guys for putting up with me. i dunno. the last week seems to have been just stressful both in my personal life and in school. thankfully the personal stress has been resolved and the school stress should be a little less in like 5 hours when my test is over. my paper is also almost done and i'll only have a couple of other things to focus my attention on. i guess it helps when i focus and stop procrastinating. but yeah, thanks for putting up with my uhhh...weirdness? ;P

hey look. it's been a year since i've been here at bhurdie.blogspot.com. It's like the only stability I've had on the web for the past year since I decided to kick it from geocities to digirice and now to my own domain. these days i'm wondering why i'm still here but eh, why not? i just love taking up more useless webspace with my babbling...especially when i'm bored. gosh, i miss those days at work in SF when I was just so bored i blogged at least five times a day. hmm, kinda like today huh? ;P

I have this urge to go out to a *nice* restaurant all dressed up. I haven't had a chance to wear my strapy sandals in like a year!! That really is a shame. =( I want to wear my strappy sandals!! I want to wear them now!!! *tantrum*

this is obviously due to hw/test stress overload. just ignore me.

WAH!!! Min is scaring me!!! He says he thinks the girl who plays Hermione on HP is hot and that he'd b@ng her! WAH!!!! child pr0n!!!!! sick!!!! *running away crying*

it's so amazing how these months have flown by and Harry Potter is finally here! i'm so excited i can hardly contain myself! unfortunately for me, i'll have to wait until tomorrow evening...and all through my ucky test! just picture it..me trying to concentrate on case histories and knowing how to organize content knowledge for student learning but failing because i have harry potter on the brain. yeah, let's see if i can pass this one.

oh and isn't it nice trying to finally study for something [the day before!!] and falling asleep for 2 hours instead? yeah, i'd say i'm screwed too. ;P

so i lied and said i didn't feel very well just so i could skip out on the last period of the day. well, it was a half-truth. i honestly felt a little dizzy because i didn't have anything to snack on for lunch and plus my heart just doesn't want to be anywhere right now.

to me criticism hurts worse than any physical pain you could inflict. it tends to linger well after the initial blow. =/

Puffy eyes. How does one cover up puffy eyes in the morning?

so umm yeah...didn't get to study and i didn't get to read. got to cry for about an hour on the phone though.

now isn't that always fun?

I'm an idiot.

I started on a redesign. dammit. And yes, I still haven't finished my book yet. Only half way there.

Then I wanted to call Grant and it just ended in disaster. I basically ended the call being fed up and irritated at his behavior and we parted on not-so-sweet terms. I should've kept my mouth shut. Our call was almost over too!

At least we said the "i love you"s. *shrug*

I hate extended bouts of negativity sometimes. grrrr.

And yes, I am indeed an idiot. Glad we got that settled.

bored. bored. bored.

boingy. boingy. boingy.

Just spent the last hour procrastinating s'more. But I was having so much fun trying out Dreamweaver and selecting my cute little icons for my picture page. hehe. Have a looksee. The links don't work yet tho. Okay, back to the depressing book. I'm on the NYC chapter. Boo for so much sadness there today and lately.

<rant>
My sister is an idiot. Last night she lost her car keys at some club and early this morning I get woken up by my dad and sister yelling at each other because he needed her spare key to make copies but my sister didn't care and just wanted to sleep. What the fuck dude, I get yelled at by my parents not to wake her up when I just whisper and here they are fucking yelling at 6 AM!! I get no respect man. That's why I just say fuck it. The world doesn't revolve around my sister. It's her fault for having a job that makes her work late and its also her fault for staying out late and trying to sleep all day.

Then I find out from her site that she got pulled over a couple days ago when she was speeding and drunk and all she got was a warning. They should've suspended her license dammit!! She seriously needs to learn some responsibility. She doesn't even have a checking account to pay her own bills!!
</rant>

"..I only drive around the island when I'm depressed. Hmm, come to think of it, I haven't been depressed in a long time!"
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Oh no, just saying."

Too bad I only notice how long I've been content and happy when I'm slowly slipping back into the deep valley of sadness...

I am surrounded by negativity and I just can't escape the dark forces. I am drowning in it.

Hapa test. Can you tell who's hapa and who's not? Okay, so I only got a 66% but dammit! 12 out of 18 is pretty good I think! ...alright, its a damn shame. *hanging head*

link from hapachan's site

Chingoo ['friend'] was an interesting movie. I was a little disappointed in the fact that most of the movie was dark and it didn't really end on a happy note, but it was thought provoking nonetheless. Very graphic with violence and sex too. whew, I kinda felt like us Americans were somehow too conservative! haha or maybe not. However, I think I'm mostly disappointed because Grant didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted him to. Damn me for always hoping for too much in things I choose. Oh well, I'm glad I saw it. And I think they talked really funny. Anyone know if that's because of a southern dialect? i'm so unknowledgeable in these things.

yay! going to see chingoo tonight! even tho its raining and grant was really sick yesterday, but hey, we'll be indoors and he's a lot better today anyway. ^_~

but you gotta admit, he must really love me to go out when he's sick...and to go out to watch a korean film at that!

So here's what I don't get. Why do people still continue to use those stupid anonymizing programs to view my page? If they were gonna send me an evil email or evil gbook post maybe, but just to view it? It's not like I really care who visits my site. Sheesh. I mean, you really think you're that special for me to care? Not like I'd know anyway since all I really get is your isp and time zone. Dude, it could be anyone! Besides, even if I did know it was you, what could I do? Say, "oh look! so-and-so visited my page!" Yep, that's about it. wheee. So why care?

After that last post I ended up taking an hour nap. If Grant didn't call me up to tell me he was just gonna go home instead of staying at school and meeting me I probably would've slept right through my math class. whee.

And yay for my baby not going to camp anymore...but boo for it being because he's sick. =( Maybe now I can get him to go see Chingoo tomorrow at the film festival. [yay for subtitles!! but boo for not being able to see Gen Y Cops and other movies]

I'm so tired. I don't want to go to school now. I also need to clean my super messy room and put away day old washed laundry. bleh. My only thing to look forward to is seeing Grant. But dangit, I know he'll get out of class late again and then I'll have to go to class and I'll be irritated that I don't get the quality time with and I'll be even more pissed because it's the only time I get to see him and spend even a little time with him until friday afternoon. Damn his school camp.

See, I get irritated when I'm tired. Maybe I should jsut sleep and not go to class. ;P

wtf? alias isn't on. its that damned practice. boohar. =(

YAY! Alias is on tonight! I thankfully got to catch the rerun of the premire this past week thanks to ms. x...dear god where did she go? Does sd-6 have her? lol [yeah, i'm stupid like that] I'm all excited about seeing a new episode and getting on track with the rest of the world now. woohoo! maybe I should start working as a secret agent somewhere. Supposedly people with math degrees are intelligent enough right? Uhhh...right?

...not intelligent enough to stop procrastinating every weekend though.

yay for 3 emails in one day from people I don't normally get to hear from! I guess it really does help if I write them first huh. hahaha. hey, i'm trying. maybe you'll be next. muahahah

okay that was stupid. a sure sign that i need to sleep now so I can wake up in 6.25 hours. oh joy!

too bad so sad...;P

hmm...i think i say 'dammit' way too often. will have to try cutting back a little. we'll see how long this lasts. ;P

i'm getting sick. dammit!

*sigh* as always...thinking with my stomach...

Reading Min's blog made me miss the Cheesecake Factory. What I wouldn't give for some of their tiramisu cheesecake. =/

All I want to know is how much calories and fat boba has. Is that too much to ask?

First i see a rumor that 7 tapioca balls are 100 calories. Then I see another site saying their tropical fruit drinks are fat free. Can't someone just put the damn info somewhere?!

Organic Bubble Tea Popcorn? wtf?

These foods are just too weird!