I'm starting to obsess over the whole moving out deal. I'm seriously showing signs of claustrophobia because i have too much stuff crammed in my room. Even though my room is bigger than the one I had in Berkeley, and is definitely bigger than Grant's room, I find myself with little to no space to store anything else. Its slowing making me insane. I even keep mentioning something about how I need to move out at least 5 times a day to Grant. Hence, the need to move out...

Of course, the mom doesn't make it any easier living under this roof.

I've already started compiling my list of supplies I'll need in my new apartment, I'm planning to start my savings once I make one last payment to Grant's dad (yay!), and I think I have a good apartment complex in mind. All I need is the right timing. If my calculations are correct, hopefully I'll be out by April or May. I can only hope the next few months go by quickly. *crossing fingers*

wheee! Thank goodness for workouts.

I've started to feel overly fat, and the fact that my arms show it doesn't make me feel any better. Long sleeves aren't supposed to be so snug dammit!

So I tried to work that area and boy am I weak. 2 sets of 10 reps and i couldn't go any further...and i was only using 5 pounds! sheesh.

Anyway, gotta call my student's mom tomorrow again. I feel like i'm running around in circles trying to coordinate something. errrr.

Its sunday, my most hated day. That sounds bad, especially when Sunday is supposed to be the Sabbath day. But I can't help it. I do all the yucky work this day. Even though its break, I think i need to do a lot of work today too. I only have one more week of break (it sucks!!!!) and then school is back in session. I still have to call a parent to see if her daughter can come in sometime this week to make up stuff. I hate calling people. I need to call Toyota too, but last time they made me cry so I don't want to. Yeah, you heard right. I don't want to get into it.

Anyway, I've been spending too much money but i think i need to get something from CompUSA today. then maybe i'll stop by Starbucks on the way to school. yuck. At least i have like $24 left in GC for the coffee. hehehe. i love gift certificates. =)

Oh yeah. Merry Christmas and uhh Happy New Year and all that nice stuff.

I went shopping today, the day after Christmas, and spent way too much money (even got up early to do it). I've also been in a couple arguments the last couple days with a variety of people. At least my parents gave me a tangible gift this year. Now I have 1 week left and I still have my entire "to do" list (for school) remaining, and on top of all this I can't go work out the next couple days because i seriously hurt myself the last time I went. Serves me right for not stretching well enough before starting. I can't even straighten my legs while sitting on the floor without wincing. Makes for great times at the family potluck.

Shit. Wasn't this break supposed to be relaxing?!

Went to the Korean American Club Christmas dinner tonight (my great-grandfather was one of the founding members and the membership carried on through the family). I gave my grandmother a check for $35 since she said i'd get it back if i show up, if not, they keep it. Well, turns out that only applies to her children, not grandchildren. Bah. the dinner wasn't even worth $35. On top of that I only semi-enjoyed myself. Somethings were okay, but the fact that I always feel obligated to sacrifice things makes things shitty. It's almost exactly like what happened 3 years ago at the exact same party. We had the seating arrangements all set for my aunt and cousins who are always late, but they decided to mix things up a bit and a different person came in place of my uncle so then everything was screwed so me being the eldest cousin made the obligatory move even when i was there first before all of them. shit. I don't know why i put myself through this crap. I so didn't even want to sit at the same table as my parents.

Which brings me to the worst part of the evening, having to put up with them. On the subject of my check, i was wondering when i'd get it back after the dinner but forgot about it until we got home and my mom goes "we got ours back from grandma when we got there, didn't you?" hello! I was sitting at the other table because you told me to sit there first, and also, if you got yours back shouldn't you have just asked for mine too? fucking A. My mom pisses me off. The entire trip to and from the restaurant was basically nonstop arguing about stupid shit. I swear, my mom always tries to belittle me and criticizes things just to make it so that she "wins" like saying how i should just be quiet because my voice is too shrill and its giving her a headache. "why can't you try to be more like me" she said. I almost choked on my tongue after hearing that one.

The last hour while playing stupid computer games and listening to Lonestar's I'm Already There and 3Doors Down's Here Without You I've been thinking, crying, and trying to self-analyze why the hell I feel like shit and feel super depressed and moody (and its *not* PMS). At first I thought it was because of Grant, though I don't know why. But after thinking about it, I realized it all falls back on my mom. I hate to say this but I honestly wish I had someone else as a mom. In fact, I have always secretly wished this. When I think about this I feel horrible, i mean, who wouldn't want their mom right? Maybe I'm a bad daughter and person, but my mom has mental problems and even though she'll praise me a lot, she always finds ways to make me feel like I'm stupid, or that something's wrong with me. I mean, she always says "what's wrong with you?!" everytime I forget some stupid little thing like wiping the faucet or shit like that. I've expressed my feelings about her using this phrase but yet she persists. Its not fair. Seriously, my family is so fucked up I just want out most of the time. I soooo need to move out in the next few months at the latest. But yeah, this is why I feel like shit even though Christmas is supposed to a happy time. You try spending 30 minutes in an enclosed vehicle with my mom and see how you feel afterwards.

Hellooooooo Christmas break! It's finally here and now I can enjoy my life.

Thank God for half days.

I seem to have forgotten to blog about how I spent all day Saturday baking furikake chex mix at Grant's house for our coworkers. I'm tired of chex. Actually I'm just tired period. People at school seemed to be baffled about why I would give them a little packet of the stuff, or actually, anything in general. HELLO! It's Christmas!!

Anyway, I went to the gym for the first time in a loooong ass time last night. First time since getting my new membership actually. I went at the wrong time. Too many people...makes me claustrophobic and makes me leave a lot sooner than I should, especially when I want to try out some weight machines but there are too many people around for me to clearly see what machines are where. bah. Tonight I said I would go at 9...I got dressed, picked up grant to do some stuff before I went to the gym, dropped him off, and promptly decided I was too tired to work out. I hate when that happens, but its true this time. This morning I had a horrible time getting up, and now I'm just about ready to collapse, my eyelids are getting heavy. Only thing is, I have to make my PreAlg quiz first. errr. annoying.

Oh, and yesterday I got a present from Rosa...HI ROSE!! Anyway, here's a warning to all of you: Starbucks cards are NOT accepted outside of the continental US...that means...not in HAWAII. So yeah, just in case any of you have friends here that absolutely live on coffee and you were looking for the perfect gift. I'm still hoping they will soon tho.

And thus concludes my quick 3 day wrap up. Good night.

Okay, it is now 10:30 and I was supposed to be out by 10. eek. Its time to make my list for today, only because it worked so well last week. =)

Sunday Plan:
1. Plan for the week
2. Grade Core exams (i've had them since monday!)
3. Grade Pre quizzes
4. Change Pre exam scores in computer
5. Update all grades in computer
6. ATM
7. Mail Xmas cards dad will take it tomorrow
8. Get Brine & a gravel cleaner (my fish scared me last night since it wasn't eating! but that was my fault for waiting an extra 6 hours to do it. =()
9. Laundry I even folded it and put it all away! yay!
10. Buy a lock

and right now I'm sooo tempted to get an mp3 player. That's what I've been looking at for the last hour. Anyone have suggestions?
Okay, shower time!

Whew!

Alive, safe, and not busted.

Here's some advice: Never ever rely on me to lie and pretend something that's not, even if its just casual talk. I've found I make an extremely bad undercover agent.

Its soooo sad!
lol

hmmmmm.....

I wonder if this is legal. But then...cash and not telling anyone...no one could find out right? It's cheap(er)! I just soooo hope I don't get screwed again. I think this will work. And I will be happy. I just have this paranoid feeling like its going to be an undercover bust or something. lol!

Did I ever show you this? *brief moment of amnesia* This is the bag Grant made me for my birthday. (I use it every single day for school!) He always ends up making me something for gifts, but I doubt he'll manage it this Christmas since he's been so busy. Poor guy. But gosh, I love him. ^_^

boo. the scanner I haven't used in months doesn't want to work. Not like it worked properly back when I disconnected it anyway. So no picture of my feet over the beatuful blue ocean for you. lol i really like that picture. I took it as we were on the boat on our way to the snorkeling site on Maui. pish posh.

But instead...I decided to change my splash page. (its about time isn't it? seeing as how its not summer anymore) You may have to wait a teenie bit for it to load. And don't ask me what it says. I'm still waiting for Grant to call me.

First reaction (via rose): ohmigod that is just too cute!!!! i just want to crack my head open!

=)

Yay! Today has been a very productive day if I do say so myself. I accomplished everything I set out today except for the Christmas card stuff, which can wait until tomorrow. I also gotta get magnets but its not that important. Maybe this list thing is a good thing to keep me organized. Lord only knows how I need organization in my life...especially in my room! iyah...

So here's the plan for the rest of the week:
Write Christmas cards
Buy magnets
Pack gifts
Hit the post office to send the gifts and get 2 packs of stamps
Mail cards
Buy brine & a gravel cleaner

Oh yeah, and if anyone wants to know what I want for Christmas, a round trip ticket to anywhere in California would be really nice. Or first month's rent on an apartment would be keen too. I'd even love you for a good mp3 player. lol Grant keeps asking me what I want and I can't come up with anything reasonable because really, these are what I really want. I even almost said "diamond ring" after hitting so many jewlery stores for his mom's gift. >o.O< But I mainly really want the first item. What I wouldn't give to be with some friends right about now.

Okie...good night. And with that, i cross the last thing off my list. =)

oh frick...i totally forgot i had to make a test for my core alg tomorrow. errrr...and to think I was all set on accomplishing the last thing on my list. ;P

I have the craving for In and Out.

Dangit!

So here's the Sunday Plan.
(Hopefully I'll get most if not all of it done today.)

Feed the puffer
Shower
Starbucks: get a mocha and a travel mug
Go to school
Plan & grade papers & update grades
Grade PreAlg Exams
GBC for boxes and stuff
Wrap gifts
Comp USA to look at mp3 players website =P
Call Jhoel (before 5)
Wash car (i skipped last week remember? yikes)
Watch Alias (since Charmed is a repeat again dangit)
Talk to Grant
Sleep

So i'm browsing the br website for something i may be willing to buy so i can use the discount code and now I'm just wondering, how can something be a sweater if it's sleeveless?

Ponder that for a moment, would ya.

I think this is the first time ever since the inception of my online journiary in 1997 that a real life friend/person in my life has been affected by something i've written. I never worried about it before...not sure why, i just wrote what i felt and only covered up stuff if i knew certain people were lurking. I never wanted to make anyone feel bad. I felt what i wrote back then, but things are different now..lots different and for the better i think..right? I do apologize for any hurt i've inflicted.

Maybe i should reconsider the whole giving people fake names/abbreviations thing instead. But it almost feels unnatural at this point.

In any case, i'm sorry, and i hope you don't have any ill feelings either. i really do consider you a great friend. =)

why do gym staff always seem to be in such a hurry? its kinda annoying after a while.

trying to work something out with the guy at the gym. we'll see if i can avoid losing what little savings i have.

update: its so odd. the guy says all i have to do is pay the "past due" (not cancelled) of $383 then all i have to pay is $8/mo thereafter for the all club/sport membership - on my own plan. For one, i never had an all club membership, my dad has one but when i was under his plan like 4 years ago it wasn't. When i had my own plan in berkeley i only had a one club membership and paid $33/mo. I wouldn't mind $8/mo but i really would like to avoid getting screwed over this time around, ya know? I find out tomorrow as he goes to verify it all.

damnitalltofreakinghell!

Its one thing to feel extremely fat, chunky, and nasty, but its an entirely different matter when you look the part too.

I just looked at myself in the webcam. blech.

That's it! I'm definitely joining the gym within the next week or two. ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! >.<
(bastids in berkeley! its their fault i'll be losing $300!)

Oh yes, lest I forget...from yesterday's musing about the underwear drawer...

At least now I don't feel so bad as if I have OCD...hi Keri!! (heehee ;P)

Though she does make me want to set aside a whole separate drawer for my bras.

I'm still looking for more comments about how to wash them btw!! =) pretty please?

And now its time for yet another...
Maria-is-bored-so-she's-going-to-post-rather-than-do-work Random Musing!

Shopping over the weekend, we wandered into the home section of macy's and saw many made up beds with TONS of pillows. So here's my question:

How many pillows are on your bed?
And out of those pillows, how many do you actually use while sleeping?

My answers:

I have 4 pillows (2 king sized 2 regular) with 3 different pillow case designs, plus one pillow-sized tarepanda (Tare!), one square mashimaro pillow from G last xmas, and one onigiri shaped piglet head from G from tokyo disneyland.


Do I use them all? Of course! The two king sized (and very flat) ones are used to protect me from my window sills and provide very comfy padding. I usually randomly choose which regular sized pillow to sleep on but sometimes I use both. Must achieve ultimate comfy-ness!



The tare is there to keep me company, the mashimaro is there in case I kick the wall (that's tare's job also) and the onigiri piglet head is just to scare away bad dreams.

(ok, so the last three aren't really used for sleeping, but they sure do come in handy whenever grant and I get into pillow fights, which is weekly. hehehe. They're also really good for hiding yourself from people under the covers. =)

Most of you won't care but I am currently listening to all my korean mp3s on random. I tend to do this often only because i'm so tired of all the mainstream stuff I hear every day on the radio. Plus its nice to reminisce, especially when old school songs come up. One of my personal favorites is DOC wah Choom ul (Dance with DOC) by Dj DOC. It all reminds me of when I first started getting into korean music like 4-5 years ago. *nostalgic sigh* So now its currently my Song of the Moment above. =)

Random musings:
(since I'm bored as evidenced by the massive amounts of posts in the last hour)

Do you keep your underwear drawer organized and tidy with white socks in one pile, dress socks in another, underwear neatly folded and stacked to one side, and bras in yet another section?

And speaking of bras...I'd like to know. How do you wash yours? This whole handwashing bit is annoying me since I'm all about laziness and finding the most effective way to reduce the amount of work and effort I have to exert. (keke) Yet I don't want to risk the washer since the last time I did that my bra came out all lumpy. We do not want lumpy boobs! Tips anyone? Leave comments please!

oooh. korean chica on Fear Factor.

My dad keeps saying "What does CJ mean? I know what BJ means, what does CJ mean?" err. He's so repetitive.

Oh boo..she lost the 50K by only a second. boohar.

Make Core Alg quiz...check!
Make Core Alg notebook check...check!
Dry towels...check!
Put away clothes...errr...pending.
Wash car...tomorrow...maybe.
Grade papers...maybe not.

hehehe

Bored and lonely. I just feel apathetic towards the world currently. I didn't wash my car like I said i would today. And now I don't have any motivation to grade papers and make my quiz. (damn i just realized i forgot my notebook at school and i need it for one of my worksheets. shiiiiiiiiiet) I really need to join the gym but don't want to pay $250+ again. damn bastards for screwing up my membership a year ago.

At least I got up the energy to wash my towels.

it really is sad to watch one's pet die...especially with the alternating twitching and lying listlessly among the rocks. It's currently in the corner closest to me watching me. I wonder if it has any thoughts or feelings about this all. This one is definitely a fighter and isn't going as quick or easily as the rest. i also don't want him to die lest the 5th one get lonely. Please..give me a miracle?

errr!!! I'm so freakin irritated right now.

First it was the @$$hole who almost hit me as I came out of the gas station. True I didn't look in his direction at the time I should've but he was the ass who sped through the just-turned-red light. As he passed me he yelled obsenities at me. Damn me for knowing how to read lips.

Then I decided to go to Kmart to look for a laundry drying rack because my sister is a selfish b!tch who has claimed all ownership of the one in the household to hold half her f*cking wardrobe since it won't fit in her own closet and her floor is already full. So it was obviously crowded but parking ended up being easy. It's just the people...like the lady who just has to stop and take up the ENTIRE walkway while looking at an item. So I decide to walk around this little island thing to bypass her then she decides to start walking and blocks my path again. errr! Of course, kmart didn't have what I wanted. Well, they had one, but it's too big. I should just go to the korean market. So i went all the way to kmart for nothing and aggravated myself even more after the whole stupid driver incident.

Now I'm home and have been continuously bitching about my sister only because it is ultimately her fault that I wasted at least a half hour of my time to get absolutely nothing. and now i'm debating if I want to venture back out to get the brine I had told myself I would get tomorrow because i'm lazy. It's bad enough I've put off washing my car tomorrow. But even though I don't have my drying rack, i'm still going to wash clothes, and bitch the entire time I do it...loudly.

Oh yeah, and today is Sunday, my horrid day. I hate Sundays so much now. Plus this week I have so much crap to do:

1. Plan the week (The ultimate yuck)
2. Correct quizzes/hw
3. Make Core quiz
4. Handwash items
5. Laundry - whites, colors, towels, sheets
6. Wash car
7. Buy brine (tho if i only have 1 fish left it seems rather wasteful)
8. Wrap gifts
9. Pack/Ship gifts
10. Write xmas cards
11. Buy stamps
12. Watch Charmed & Alias
13. Call parents of failing students (?? idk since i have over 50 of them!! wah!)

While my fourth fish is on the verge of dying (but at least he ate! no thanks to the 5th f*cker) let me procrastinate and write this post.

All was well with the Thanksgiving festivities. The lunch here was yum and my cousin blake is adorable. The only issue I had was when my parents showed their Korea video. eesh. As if they hadn't circulated the tape around enough. Then that evening I went to Grant's family's for dinner. The sister is a lot more cordial to me than last year, but she is still very blunt and so very random...disturbing people at any time for no apparent reason. The food was also yum, especially the sashimi, which I've been waiting for for at least a week. hehe

Friday, "Black Friday", we went shopping. Grant, the bestest bf a girl could have, went willingly. Amazingly, the experience wasn't all that bad. We went at around 11, tried to find parking in the shade for a good minute then just decided to park in the sun by the very roomy parking lot near sears. We found parking instantly. The mall wasn't too bad either. Lines were manageable and people were pretty nice. Of my list, I only crossed 1 person off while grant crossed off more than half on his. lol. But at least I got some people done yesterday (Saturday).

After what seemed like a waste of a day Saturday due to Grant helping out with the japanese special olympics and me doing absolutely nothing we ended up having dinner at Gyukaku, japanese yakiniku. The wait was horrible but they were nice about it, passing out refreshments while we waited! (Must remember to make reservations next time) But when we actually got in and ate, mmm it was yummy. We got one of their preset dinner for two only because we didn't know what would be good but next time we definitely know what to get. Harami is so yum! Of course, after the kanack attack we just fell asleep. We never do anything after eating dinner anymore. hahah. But maybe next week we'll see that japanese comic theater at UH. Yes, i think we'll brave one more theatrical production. *crossing fingers*

Xmas list:
Grant
Mom/Dad
Sis
Jhoel
Rose
Tammy
Won
Amy
Tanya M.
G's Mom/Dad
Kekoa
Kanani & CD
Amanda & Victoria
School peeps

WAH!!! Puffer #3 has died. This morning it refused to eat, even seeming to be scared of the brine. I tried and tried until i just figured, "eh, he'll be hungry by this evening." Only to come home from school a couple hours early and find the stupid thing stiff as a board. I'm really starting to wonder if my tank is just contaminated. I certainly don't have certain things to keep the water ultra clean. hmm. I'm now contemplating a bigger, better tank..hopefully the last two will survive to see that day.

oh well, i guess that's enough procrastinating. (Alias and Charmed weren't even on. boo)

Off to grade papers! Whee!

You know, I don't think I've ever been so content with the same page design/layout as I have been with this one. Really, I have no desire to change it. I mean, why should I when ichigopan up there looks so damn cute?

oh yes...and I've finally updated my links. Took me long enough. ;P

It's been a busy weekend.

Friday night we had dinner with G's sister and her "guy friend." Uh yeah. Don't ask how that happened. It went smoothly though and the guy was pretty nice..just a tad old..and with 3 kids O.o! We'll see what happens in the future...regarding dinners with the sister that is.

Saturday we just ran errands and Grant put on his new rims. I took a nap while the latter occurred. hehe. That night we had dinner wtih Kekoa and Tanya at Sorabol and went to see Die Another Day. The movie was okay. Kinda cheezy at some points. Grant think it seems more "fake" since Madonna was in it. ?? I have no opinion. I'm more of a Sean Connery bond fan anyway. =)

Now its Sunday, the day where I do all my work. dangit. School work (grading & planning), house work, and car washing work. I've come to loathe Sundays. Bah. It doesn't even feel like a weekend. I was all bummed because it didn't even seem like I spent time with Grant at all..even though i saw him practically all yesterday. I hate sharing. ;P Now its back to the daily grind. At least its a short week. yay.

It sucks to not have anyone to cheer me up. I have that feeling in my stomach that I had back in June...you know, when I was really depressed (about grant being in japan and not calling at all) and pretty much lost my appetite and stopped eating. Yeah, that feeling. The feeling that sorta seems like hunger pains, but its also painful like a stomach ache when you eat too much. It doesn't help that I've been feeling nauseous when I think about food or after I eat. This has been going on for at least a month but I just tried to ignore it. Now I don't feel like eating at all. I guess this just means one thing. Something definitely needs to change in my work situation. It wouldn't be healthy for me to starve...even though I do need to lose like 5-7 pounds.

Of course, its not a good sign either that I didn't want to call won about our scheduled dinner tomorrow. I don't feel much in the mood for socializing, but lo and behold she called me. Perhaps I just need to get off my sorry ass and see my friends...er...friend. singular. Funny how I can count all my friends on one hand.

Some people probably wonder why most teachers quit by their 5th year. Well, here are some reasons I've come up with after just 1.5 quarters:

1. Beginner teachers get the crap classes. When I say "crap" I mean the lowest of the low. Take my classes for example: 3 PreAlg and 2 CoreAlg, all of which are INCLUSION (ie, half the students are sped or special needs). Oh yeah, and my inclusion classes come with an Inclusion "teacher" who basically does jack shit at this point.

2. There is an overwhelming amount of work and planning that needs to be done. Since you haven't taught the classes before, you need to plan. You also need to grade so many fucking papers you wonder if you should just stop assigning work just to make it end. Every subsequent year *should* get better though.

3. Due to reason #1, you have all the students that cause teachers to grow grey hairs. They refuse to do work either because they're fucking lazy, or because they feel they're too damn stupid since they are in the classes as named in reason #1. They also have problems keeping their mouths shut at the appropriate time, thereby wasting at least a fifth of your classtime just trying to shut them up while you're teaching.

4. Because half the students are lazy, they do not complete most of their assignments (even when given half the class time to do it) and as such, often fail their quizzes and exams. This then leads you to question whether or not you're a capable teacher or if they really are *that* stupid (even with the aid of note cards and teacher help!).

5. Shitty pay for the shitty work described in reasons #1-4. I could at least be getting paid a couple thousand more if it weren't for that fucking teacher's contract they negotiated a year before I became a teacher (sometimes I wonder if other teachers really do like screwing over their own kind..you know, that whole "you gotta pay your dues too" shit?). Now I have a BA in math AND a teaching certificate (ie, some grad work which I'm only now starting to pay off!) and I get paid the exact same amount as people who have just a mere B.Ed. Fucking A. I didn't extend my education just to get fucked this way be too poor to afford any kind of comfortable living.

...

yeah, you could say I've hit a little rough spot. If the list isn't evidence enough, what about me wondering what other possible occupations I could pursue? All I've come up with so far is Flight Attendant.

boo. another puffer died today. I think it was sick as it wouldn't eat for the last couple days. I tried everything to feed it. The other puffers are bullies and pigs. But i still love em. 2 down, 3 to go. =/

this week has just sucked like hell. I didn't realize that I was in a downward spiral until it was too late. Perhaps all those computer games make me forget until it all comes flooding in.

Teaching is tough and this week has certainly tested me in that arena...and its only a 4 day work week! I just want my weekend to start. I want to laugh and be happy again. Having bad dreams induced by work stress is never a good sign.

fucking computer games. I just spent the last hour or so playing diamond mine...all on one run. I got up to 39,615 points. Took long enough though. You know its bad when you're chanting in your head "die, die! no more moves!" I'm the type that has to play until i die. I can't just give up. Its about friggen time. I need to sleep. And I didn't grade one damn paper today. gah!

I always see craigslist mentioned by various online people but today i heard of it through a real friend...

Rose: i'm going winetasting on monday with my new friends from craigslist
Me: craigslist?
Me: you made new friends from craigslist?
R: yeah
R: i didn' tell you i posted an ad
Me: you're so funny rose! =)
Me: i don't think i'd be able to do that
Me: what did it say?
R: i need to meet people some how
R: in sf, it's no big deal to do it
R: so i figured why not
R: it's better than sitting at home depressed, wishing for friends
R: oh but i just said sometihng like i just moved here from the bay area, looking for people to hang out with
Me: very true.
Me: how many people replied?
R: about 4 or 5?
R: but only 2 of them i met...and they are both really really nice
R: and cool =)

...

R: maria did i tell you that i hang out with gay guys
R: it's so funny
Me: you do?
R: yeah my coworker [insert name #1 here]
R: and then my roommate
R: my roommate's friend [insert name #2 here] is here on vacation
R: and #1 likes him
R: he's all flirting with him on the phone now
R: it's so funny
Me: you have a roommate?
Me: lol
Me: you always have such interesting coworkers
R: i thought you knew i had a gay rooommate
R: i found him on craigslist too
R: craigslist has enhanced my life
Me: hahahhaha
Me: you could be their spokesperson

^_^

Here's my teaching dilemma for the day:

There's this student that spends most of the class time talking to friends, walking around the room, and never doing her work, even when half the class period is given for her to do it. Then comes the test and she wonders why she can't even do half of it. She gives attitude like nothing else and thinks I have something against her since I am always telling her to pay attention (it says to keep her "on task" in her own IEP!!) She has even gone so far as to call me racist (she happens to be black)...oooh that pissed me off. The thing is, after all this really annoying shit she puts me through I'm starting to wonder whether or not I'm subconsciously not giving her my all...like I'm just too tired to care...which is partially true, but am I doing it deliberately?

But today I was just too pissed off. Her and another chronic talker were up and about talking to another girl while everyone else was finishing their tests, I firmly requested they return to their seats and remain quiet out of respect for the others. I repeated myself THREE friggen times. I hate repeating myself. So instead of saying it for a 4th time, I took my big, heavy, teacher's edition textbook and slammed it on the floor. That got their attention. heh. And she claims she never even heard me. Well I wonder why!

Now I find out she's on the soccer team and on probation because of another class. I so wish I could ask her coach to show her no mercy and whip her into obedient shape. Too bad this isn't boot camp. you don't know how much I wish...

Why is it that I can never get anything done...especially on these goshdarned 4-day weekends? argh!

And to think, I thought my procrastination was bad when I was a student!...

This sucks. Grant and I hung out all day at his house just chillin and we were supposed to have dinner there too. I guess his grandparents were coming over too. I wasn't too thrilled about it, seeing as how the sister doesn't really like me and all, but I figured I'd stick it out. How bad could it be right?

So the mom comes home with sis and grandparents in tow. At the time i was on their computer trying to install/fix something. First thing the sis says to me: "Get off the computer. My grandma wants to use the phone." I'm just like..sure, ok, no prob. Everyone else, however took it as a great offense. I really didn't care. Maybe because I'm used to hearing those kinds of things from my own sister, or maybe because I don't expect more from her. In any case, Grant got super pissed and decided we should leave. *sigh* So here I am waiting at my house for him to drop by. woopdeedoo. But at least his parents were really nice about it and apologized, saying I'm welcome there any time. That's always reassuring. now if only his sister wasn't such a....>.<

Oh yeah, and last night Grant and I went to see a play at LCC: "The 3 Musketeers." I figured we should do something different and this one seemed a bit interesting...it had an "anime flair" to it. Besides, I liked the movie. Bad mistake. Aside from a couple of the actors and a few moments (very few and far between) it pretty much sucked. Not that they didn't try (and boy did some try overly so!), but I doubt I'll ever go see another production put on by people at LCC. It just dragged on way too long and ended without much of a climax. Poor grant, if only I'd known. Hopefully he won't hold this one against me when I want to go see other productions. >.<

How sad. My algae eater just died is on the brink of death. Not that I particularly liked it though. Compared to my puffers it was really big and out of place (kinda ugly too). It's at least twice their size and seemed to work way too hard for a small tank like mine. *shrug* I guess I'll just have to find another way to control the algae considering that was supposedly the pet store's "smallest" algae eater.

In other, more personal news, PMS is rearing its ugly head for the first time in ages. My breasts are too tender to bear and I got super irritable and pissy earlier today. First it was my mom, then it was my fishtank. And I took it all out on Grant, the poor guy. He even bought me lunch today...sushi @ Genki (we never eat there for lunch, and we just ate there Saturday night!) Damn cravings. I'm a bad person. Sometimes I wonder why he still loves me. I think I'm too selfish, even if he says I'm not. =/

I finally got off my lazy ass and recharged the digicam battery. Hence the lack of any real pictures lately.

But no more! I've finally got some pictures of my little puffers. They really are starting to let their little personalities show. Plus I think I have 3 males and one female (the one that died was a female too). I wonder if she's happy about it or not. ;P Enjoy! (ps. sorry about any long load time. mianhae!)


He's trying to hide. They were very camera shy!

Just chillin.



As you can see they are a yellowish color. The males seem moreso.

This is the lonely gal. (I think. I could have it totally reversed for all i know! lol)

This picture is big because I wanted to show the size of these things. That's the tip of a chopstick. (That's how I feed them...I have them trained already!)



Where's the puff? Can you find it? I swear half the time I can't.

The puffers are finally happy. I bought live brine and the suckers eat it like nothing. You should see their little bellys right after they've eaten. Its hilarious. Even the one that always stays at the bottom and never eats is happy. yay!

I'm still undecided about the governor's race and who I'll vote for come election day. Four years ago I voted for Lingle because I felt Cayetano would screw us all (and lo and behold, he did..the teachers at least). Now I'm not sure if she's the right person for the job. There's been all this talk about change. Change this, change that. Well, I've never been a big fan for change so maybe that's why I'm wary. Lingle seems more like extreme change. But then again, Hirono doesn't seem strong and powerful enough to move things along. The thing that gets me though is how I have this nagging feeling that if Lingle gets elected she's going to end up screwing us in some way...for some reason I think in terms of budget deficit. Let's not mention her plan to split the Board of Ed into 7 different boards. too much.

But still...I'm not sure. I definitely won't make my decision they way I did the primary. (eenie meenie miney moe. hahaha) If anything I'll pick according to the Lt. Gov candidate...and er...is it just me or does Aiona always look tilted to one side in his ads? lol

R.I.P little puffer. =(

boohar.

In puffer news...

I think my fish are finally getting accustomed to their environment. They seem to be eating more and certain ones are now asserting their power. (damn agressive fish). The only thing is that one seems to be kinda lagging or sick or something. It never eats, its the smallest one so it gets picked on, and now its just lies still from time to time. boo! I hope it doesn't die. =( If it does, then I'll have 4 fish...and that's the whole reason why I got 5...4 is not a good number! >.< *crossing fingers*

I've been so bad the last 2 weeks or so. I find myself watching so much tv these days that I just totally ignore all the work I tell myself I'll do when I get home...this includes grading papers! aiyah. not good.

So what kind of tv have I been watching? well, here's how it goes:
M-F: 5-6:30p various news programs (kitv for local, nbc for national)

Monday:
7:50-9p Korean drama "Loving You"
9-10p CSI Miami (cbs)
(8-9p record Everwood (wb)for later viewing..when? i dunno)

Tuesday:
7-7:50p Music Bank (kpop)
7:50-9p "Loving You" (korean)
(8-9p record Smallville (wb) for later viewing)

Wednesday:
(flipping channels)

Thursday:
7-8p Survivor (only because the rents watch it though I always have to know who wins via evil wahine first keke) -cbs
8-9p CSI (cbs)
9-10p Without a Trace (cbs)

Friday/Saturday:
none (date nights. hehe)

Sunday:
7-8p Gilmore Girls: Beginnings
8-9p Charmed
(8-9p record Alias-cbs)
9-10p Law & Order: Criminal Intent (nbc)

see! Isn't that just a tad too much tv? sheesh.

And now for your feature presentation:

puffercam!

for a limited time only ;P

Oh yeah, and did i mention i got a haircut? My sister cut it too short! This is what you get when you tell her to cut it below the shoulders. Everyone has said they like it though but I dunno. I hate having short hair. I've had short hair all my life! Plus it makes me look fat. Gah!

A warning to anyone who is thinking about getting puffer fish: They are very picky eaters and mainly like brine shrimp. The pea puffers I got are so dang picky that they hardly even eat frozen brine shrimp. They also blend in so well with my rocks I can hardly tell they're there. But dang they're cute. yay!

I'm getting my fishies today! yay!! Its the little things that really make me happy. =)

Gosh I love non-instructional days. =)

yay for G and I both being teachers (one of the rare times its a good thing! haha)

Oh dammit. I just got myself into a big mess. I'm now addicted to the drama "Loving You" with Park Yong Ha from "Gyuh Ool Yungah" and Eugene from SES...after only the first episode. Now I'm stuck for the next 6 weeks! Oh well. It looks like a cute one, but how am I going to watch Smallville at the exact same time tomorrow? lol

ugh. This is the last week of the quarter and I have to get my grades ready so that I won't have to rush and panic at the end of the week. Yay for me not falling asleep yet. Every weekend I keep falling asleep, even when grant and I are with a friend. So bad. 10:30 is too early to fall asleep on weekends! But at least I finished my stuff tonight. But my dad was too drunk to record the right channel for me so now I missed Alias. BOO!!

Oh well, at least I watched my Charmed. woot. =)

Gosh I so hope this week goes by fast. Exam schedule the next 2 days (we get out later. gah!!!) then no school Wed. (yay for teacher's institute day!) then Monday schedule Friday (early release). I sooo hope things go smoothly this week. PLEASE! *crossing fingers*

And that basically sums up my week. Niters!

I have a fishtank now! YAY! Of course, I still have to prep the tank for the fish so the fish will have to wait till next weekend. But I'm so excited. I think I'll be getting puffer fish. =) YAY!!

I don't understand Bush. He's dead set against Iraq and has some sort of vendetta against Hussein because of his "weapons of mass destruction" yet when North Korea says they have these weapons as well his stance is merely going toward a diplomatic resolution. HELLO?! As much as I'd hate the US to go to war with N. Korea, this just points out how biased and crazed our president has become. If we go to war with Iraq I'm going to renounce my citizenship and become Canadian or something. Errr, why did you people vote him into office!??!?!!

I am missing many people right now. Maybe its pms, maybe its the gloomy, wet weather, or maybe its just the fact that I want to dwell on anything but work and grading papers right now. I just miss them, even the ones I don't particularly like. Dengit.

I couldn't bring myself to watch this week's episode of Smallville. Why? I dunno. I just don't like watching stuff where a person isn't acting themselves, or properly, or in an embarrassing way. I get this funny feeling inside that I don't like so I always cringe and choose not to watch. Maybe its my sense of always acting properly and in a way that's "approved" of in society? I dunno. All i know is that it sucks when I'm trying to watch a really funny Adam Sandler movie and i just can't help but turn away until a scene is over. bah.

Tonight I'm also bothered by some school related worries. I keep wondering if I'm doing the teaching thing right. I mean, now that i'm out of school I no longer have someone looking over me to tell me if I do anything wrong. Then I also think that maybe I'm dumbing down the material. Am i? I don't think so. But then again, sometimes I think my own mathematical abilities are quickly slipping and I'll lose all knowledge of sounding smart. lol.

It's not really the math part that's bothering me though. It's the student part. Like what do i do with students who only show up a fourth of the time? The students who show up a week before the end of the quarter and have tons to make up? Or what about the students that do all the work, pay attention, ask questions, but no matter how hard they try just can't get it and keep failing? And the ESL students! aish...it's one thing if you can't understand English, but to be slow on top of that? It's enough to drive one mad. Not that there's anything wrong with students who can't speak English, or those who are slow, its just very frustrating is all. All of it is frustrating! And I'm not even going to mention those students who just down right hate me at this point because I just don't care anymore. Not like I did anyway.

Why are some people just so damn difficult? I swear its almost like a personality conflict and if I weren't obligated to tolerate some of them and try to teach them, I would've kicked them out of my classroom long ago.

*sigh* Much stress and no one to help me. Yeah, my inclusion teacher does almost NOTHING!!! But that's another story for another time. It's time for me to get back to planning and grading. Teaching is exhausting...

...But i still don't regret becoming a teacher. There are always those students who remind you of the why. =)

hey peeps..

haha. anyway...

I apologize for not being around very much anymore. Teaching is very tiring. And actually, if my ancient Macintosh in my classroom could just access the internet, I probably would be posting more, but alas, it doesn't even have enough memory to run the email program that connects me to the whole school system. Plus netscape keeps crashing. gah!

but yeah...the parents are still out. My sister's an alcoholic who has no sense of responsibility. I gave her the easiest jobs while the parents are gone: taking the trash out when it gets full, and taking the trash can to the curb twice. She can't even do that! All the while I'm washing the dishes, cooking, AND bringing in the paper and mail everyday. Sheesh. Its really nasty though. The sis keeps leaving food in the sink and the ants are swarming! And now, the kitchen trashcan is starting to reek. My sister even stayed home today! WTF!? I swear, she's gonna live at home all her life, or she'll never get along with anyone she ever lives with in the future. I'm calling it now. Just watch.

This ends my ranting session for the day. I could probably go on and on about school related things, but my throat is killing me and i'd rather think about healing than lingering on very upseting and disturbing topics. *sigh* Friday is only 7 hours away. yay! And tomorrow is the Homecoming Parade and football game vs. Waipahu. Go Rams! ^_~

so the drama with my mom is over. she actually apologized for treating me badly. O.o So tomorrow I take my folks to the airport. boo. i'll actually miss them....a bit. =P

This week is also G's intersession. The lucky bastid has the week off for break! Not fair!

Anyway, today was bad, as saturdays are starting to become. There is nothing else to do but run errands and shop.

Today I got (for myself) a printer, 5 new USB ports (whee!!), 3 tops, a $4 Kenneth Cole mini bag (yay!), "the absorber", the club, a full tank of gas, and I bought lunch and dinner for both G and I. Oh! And I exchanged a dress I bought last week for the other color I wanted (which makes me very happy).

I can't spend anymore money this month dammit!!!! ...or at least I shouldn't anyway. ;P

Dude, what the hell bit her ass?

So my parents are leaving for Korea in a week for that Korean Patriot Ceremony or something for my great-grandfather. I look over their itinerary and see that they'll be stopping at Insadong and Dongdaemun one day. "Great! Maybe they can pick me up an item or two. Insadong has some nice ceramics!" I think. So I go out to the living room and ask my mom.

"I'm not going there. I'm going to Seoul." she harshly announces.
"Uhh, yeah mom, you're going. Its on your itinerary."
"I'm not going there! I'm going to Seoul!" she angrily shouts.
"Umm..ok, yes, you're going to Seoul. These places are IN Seoul. (If you had read the book i gave you in all the fucking free time you seem to have you would've known that you ignorat *****)"

Okay, so maybe that last part was just my innervoice screaming to be heard.

Anyway, back to my little melodrama...

"I'm not buying anything for you! I'm not buying anything!"

You should've seen the evil look she gave me. Oooh i wanted to pound her. But instead? I say..

"Dude, what the hell bit your ass?!" and left. HA.

She can find her own ride to the airport the ungrateful wench.

I did something bad yesterday.

I went shopping. Not just shopping to pick a thing or two up...but Super Shopping. The kind where you have no regard for how much money you're spending nor whether you even need the items being purchased to begin with. Very bad.

The damage? Oh...about $350 or so. Not including food and snacks munched on in between.

Yeah, its bad, especially considering I have a teacher's salary. But it makes me so happy! When else can i get 15% off at Cinnamon Girl? Or have 0% APR on my Discover Card? And have no huge rent to pay yet? It was just the ideal situation.

That's what I keep convincing myself of. So don't burst my bubble dangit. ;P

dammit. Don't you hate when you put clothes in the washer and then forget about them...only to remember at 1030pm when its too late to dry them in the dryer without pissing off the neighbors who live...oh about 20 feet from our laundry area.

grrr...Now my clothes are gonna get smelly by the morning. ARGH!!!

There are just some days when you think to yourself "Why the f*ck do I let myself take this kind of shit?"

The above mental questioning basically describes my day. The whole reason I enjoy teaching HS much more than Elementary is because you don't have to baby them and they are old enough to know how to act properly. Or at least that's what you would think!

Temper tantrums, laziness, and disrespectful young adults are what I'm starting to deal with. This does not make me happy. In fact, it's really starting to piss me off. I've tried to give them freedom, but now they're just taking advantage.

This means war!!!



[Thank goodness i don't need the backing of the UN. Of course, if I did, I wouldn't be so arrogant as to plan for war regardless of what their response is. But that's an entirely different rant altogether.]

Before I sleep I just had to blog this for me to remember.

Today i saw this woman wearing a tank top, courdaroys and clunky black shoes. I liked the look. Maybe it was the pants. I tend to like the flared look. But the shoes did it for me. I need to get clunky black shoes. That, and I need to get my boots repaired. The heels are f**ked after walking to and from the BART station all those many days. Everything else is in perfect condition except the heels. I miss wearing boots.

But yes, must get clunky black shoes, flared pants and more tops. Never enough tops!!

Pay day in 13 days! (and i just got paid too...go figger) hahahahaha

Turns out G's sis is coming back home. What do I think? I'm not allowed to voice my opinion on this one. Not because G said...but because I said. If i say something about it I know it will not be positive nor nice so I better not say it at all. I guess I won't be going over to his house much anymore. I just hope it doesn't create tension for G's sake. =/

We'll see...

Happy Chusok!!

I had a scary incident today at school. A student wouldnt' wake up and her eyes were rolling back. Thank God for my inclusion teacher. If I was alone I'd probably freak.

I swear the job of the teacher is not to teach. I do so little teaching in relation to everything else I do in school. But I'm not complaining. Taking care of these kids and making them feeling welcome in a positive environment is my #1 concern...right after keeping them safe.

Yes, you could say it's been quite a stressful day.

Gotta start over again in the morning.
Good night.

It's been over a week since i last wrote anything in here. Let's not even think about full journal entries. It's sad, I know. But it's not like I have bad excuses. I'm off working and trying to mold the minds of the next generation. Not an easy task mind you. hahaha.

But seriously...teaching is tiring. Especially when all five of my classes are now officially inclusion (i.e., with mainstreamed SPED students). eesh. And lately, a lot of them have been irking me to no end. When I'm at home I bitch and whine and call some of them stupid...but only in instances like when I'm grading papers and they do something blatantly wrong. Of course, stupid isn't the right word..and i'd never say it seriously..but what else fits? Some kids just make you wonder..."what were you thinking?!"

I have had a number of people tell me recently that I'm a good teacher and they like how I teach. I honestly have doubts everyday. I doubt whether I'm teaching the material in ways they understand. I doubt my ability to make the course challanging yet rewarding. I especially doubt my ability to properly manage a classroom. I've heard that there are worse classrooms, but I just keep thinking of mine and wonder how they could be worse? But I really don't want to find that out. definitely! So I can only go by what other people tell me...both teachers and students. And so far, so good. At least that's what they tell me.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Won't you do the same for me? Thanks. =)

Damn this is depressing.

As evidence that I obviously make things more difficult than they should be (ie, quizzes and tests) look at the results of those who've taken my little test. Grant got the 92, but only after getting an 82, cheating, and retaking the test. Rose only managed a 74! aiyah.

Man, I feel bad for my students. Its no wonder most of my freshmen are close to failing after only 2 weeks of school. hahaha

So anyone else up to the challenge? There's got to be someone who can get a 100 besides me. Even if its just pure luck. Someone...please? ;P

I am almost fully planned for this week. I am extremely proud of myself. I still need to pick/modify/copy some review worksheets, a quiz, and a test but that's ok. I'll do it tomorrow. No more taking the teacher's edition books home this week. yay! My back will thank me later. And yay, nothing to worry about when the rents are gone. 3 nights with the house to myself (and the sis, but still...). I think this is going to be a good week. Of course, I'm still crossing my fingers. ^_~

I've been missing San Francisco and the Bay Area a lot lately. It's not just the environment and things to do there, but moreso the people...certain people. I miss them. Even people who I didn't even see very much, if at all, while I lived there. That isn't normal, is it? I almost feel guilty for it. I need to go back soon, but I don't forsee that happening within the next 2 years, at least. I still need to go to Korea and Japan first, or at the very least LA to visit Tams and get the full, unrushed tour. =/ But I miss them. I miss them all, even some that I shouldn't even miss, which worries me a bit, but I can't help it.

Grrr...having a jumbled mess of thoughts isn't good either. I just miss being there is all. =(

Finally bit the bullet and made myself one of those friendtests. haha

http://marbhurd.friendtest.com

Knock yourself out. hyuk hyuk

School is killing me. But its okay because to me its worthwhile and fulfilling...or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Now if only I could find a way to eliminate most of this damn paperwork.

I want to go to sleep. wah!!!

First week of teaching assessment: Its tiring and hot. I've become an a/c ho. I would much rather sweat while in a/c than sweat while the humidity bothers everyone in the classroom. It hasn't been a pretty sight. I can't wait till winter.

But i'm hanging in there...and that's all I can say for now. ;P

Happy Bhurday to wonderful August babies...

JP
Cyn
Jay
Tammy
Lan

AND LESTER!!!
(you really can't forget a guy who has the exact same birthday as Macaulay Culkin, especially someone who got "A full baby blue velour suit that says Pure Playaz" as a gift and would proudly sport it. lol)

sorry some of it is so late.

August babies rule the world. =D

I feel mildly lost and behind. The first day of school is tomorrow yet I have so much shit to do. Amazingly, I got a lot acomplished this morning before having lunch with family, but I still have a lot to do. aiyah. So stressed.

And yes, I'm still trying like a mofo to get my bitchy/mean/strict/authoritarian teacher personality down. Heaven help me! =P

So today we had all the freshmen and new students come for orientation and basically a run through of all their classes. Even though each class was only 10 minutes I can tell it's going to be tough. 4 of the 5 are inclusion classes and from what I'm hearing, my first period is gonna be the roughest. ack.

I really really have to be total authoritarian from the beginning...if only it was my nature to be so. *sigh* I'm so screwed.

My logic can be so messed up sometimes.

Take my stance on fairness. If I had to endure something, then I expect others to have to endure the samething, regardless. (ie, my sister). Or if I help someone out with a particular situation, then I expect them to help me out if I am in the same situation. Well, I don't necessarily expect it in the latter example, but I do hope for the same courtesy. (ie, my classroom)

Is it too much to expect a certain someone to help me out in getting a few things ready? But then of course there's the argument that he's already got his own plate full. Fine dammit. I'll go it alone on this one, like I have a choice. It just really bites is all. My classroom is empty!

Today was an oh-kay day.

I cleaned a little and covered all my bulletin boards. All black. Red borders. School colors. heh I didn't get much done though. Too many interruptions with meetings and in-service thingamajigs for new staff members. Its a little frustrating. I feel as though no matter how hard i work and no matter how much i do, I'll never be prepared enough. One teacher's room is already set up, all colorful, and she was merely sitting at her computer...updating her lessons no less. My room..well, its bare and antiseptic looking.

I'm worried. Not only because of the room, since we all know that's the last thing I should be worried about, but because of my classes. Four of the five are inclusion, meaning I'll have special ed students with an accompanying SPED teacher. Now this wouldn't be so bad, i think, but I've never worked with another teacher in this "team teaching" situation. It's going to be odd...and i know I'll have to tell him what to do...from what I've heard. Back in summer fun when I first had jr. leaders...that was bad. I'm not good at designating jobs and such. I'm afeared.

PLUS! I've been warned to keep them, especially the Pre-Alg students, busy with me teaching until the end of the period. This goes against most of my student teaching experience!

And to think, I mentally thought I was ready for the upcoming year...but now I'm not even sure about the next week. So much information to process and not enough time!

and my legs hurt.

Help!

the mom is driving me up the wall.

but i will refrain from bitching about it only because i've done enough of that all day. It really isn't healthy.

Thanks philling.

Today was really productive. I...

- mailed a package at the post office
- returned something at Daiei
- filled up gas
- got my safety check
- paid my cell bill
- went in to school to get my keys a day early
- went into my classroom and started assessing things
- arranged my desk area and student desks...temporarily maybe
- talked to my dept head.
- mailed a postcard
- got a slurpee...mmm

yay for feeling like I'm not entirely sloth-like. Tomorrow the real fun starts. The first day of work! aiyah!

Sometimes I think I bitch too much. Maybe I bitch too much, especially when I'm pretty happy in real life. I'm probably so boring to read these days that no one ever visits anymore. Kinda sad, but its okay. I used to think that I only did this so people would come, but i don't think like that anymore. In fact, I don't know what I think these days. I'm just like..."eh..." I almost feel as though my entire online presence is quickly fading away. But I doubt it will completely. Otherwise I'd have nothing else to do when I'm bored. I get bored often. When I wake up at 8 am every morning regardless of whether I want to or not. When I'm up at 11pm not wanting to go to sleep. I never want to go to sleep when I should. Even if I'm tired I don't sleep. Despite the fact that I think sleep is the greatest thing in the world, I often think its a waste of perfectly good time when I could be doing something else...like surfing the net? Uhh yeah. Dunno, I've just felt that way all my life mostly, mainly regarding naps though. Although, naps are indeed wonderful things sometimes. But I'd still be bored when I could've been sleeping. Go figure.

And so ends this strange flow of consciousness. I think i should go back to worrying about my $1000 credit card bill....I managed to rack it all up in a month's time. How's that for amazing. So goes my life. ;P

You know what's really annoying? When you're at Starbucks and two people are chatting up a storm at the table right next to you while you're trying to read. What makes it even worse is when the tables in that particular area are tight together so you're always afraid you're gonna kick the girl next to you as she keeps her legs crossed and over extended into your personal space. And what makes it all the more horrible, and here's the kicker, is when their conversation is in super hyper Japanese mode. aiyah. You'd think they would've left or at least stopped just one minute in the 3 hours I was there (who knows how long they were there before that) but nooooo. I finally left before my head imploded. I can only drown out and ignore those kinds of things for so long.

And what's up with one of the chicks leaving her stuff all over her table 4 feet away while she was talking with this girl at another table. She made everyone else scurry for empty tables outside. People like that irk. grrrr

I'm sorry, I always try to respect the dead but this is just stupid.

If your child is (i want to say stupid but instead I'll use) reckless enough to endanger his own life in a hazardous area, you obviously don't deserve any money or compensation. You should've taught him better. I mean, would anyone in their right mind straddle Old Faithful? Why should the Blowhole be any different? Just let the deceased rest in peace and stop waddling in your own misfortune dammit.

People are way too lawsuit happy these days and it drives me up the wall.

Its one thing to be too busy to get someone an anniversary gift. It's even oh-kay to maybe be too busy to get someone just an anniversary card. But it totally sucks ass to be too busy to even notice someone called and left a message on your cell...FIVE hours ago.

SUCKS ASS!

I'm starting to get a bit resentful. never a good thing. =/

10 years ago I...
- was 14 years old
- had bangs
- was getting ready for my freshman year of high school
- took ice skating lessons
- had the hugest crush on Gyorgy

5 years ago I...
- worked at McD's
- was starting to "date"
- owned a Plymouth Reliant
- attended UH
- grieved the loss of my haraboji

2 years ago I...
- lost one love but found another
- graduated from UH with a BA in Math
- moved to Berkeley
- found great friends
- learned not all roommates are created equal

1 year ago I...
- was 23 years old
- moved back home
- went back to UH for my teaching certificate
- missed a lot of my friends
- celebrated a milestone with G

Yesterday I...
- Took Tammy to the airport
- did massive amounts of laundry
- drank steamed milk w/ vanilla
- plucked my eyebrows
- kissed G

Today I...
- woke up at 8:30
- had a TB test
- read and studied @ Starbucks
- saw an old acquaintence but didn't say hi
- journalled

Tomorrow I will...
- read and study s'more
- start planning my units
- finish cleaning my room
- go out on a date with G
- stay out as late as possible

Was gonna blog it...but it got too long so I journalled it. woopie.

The vacation is over *sniff* Tammy left this morning. In fact, her plane should be disembarking from the terminal as we speak. I'll miss that little rugrat. After extended periods of time with certain people I always get really teary-eyed for the next few days, I hope this one abates quickly.

But now I'm left to do all my chores that I've neglected the last 2 weeks. I can't believe its been 2 weeks already! 2 weeks of sleeping on the floor and not my bed, 11 days since my birthday, and now no more trips out into the humidity and blaring sunshine (although my skin is probably jumping for joy. ugh, i'm so dark!). I just can't fathom how all this time managed to fly by me undetected. But gosh, I'll definitely miss our little "vacation."

Journal entry forthcoming i suppose... ;P

sooooo tired...ugh.

in other news...it's JC Chasez (of Nsync)'s 26th birthday today!

Apparently the best friend of tammy (the one who's here) got invited to his birthday party after meeting a group of guys and going to a party at a huge mansion that Hugh Hefner attended one day not too long ago. SOOOO LUCKY!! She invited Tams to go, but obviously she's here. Dude, I want to go!!!! *crawls into a corner and cries*

Not fair. ;P

Thank you to everyone who's wished me well on my bday. Sorry I have yet to write personal emails...things are quite hectic these days.

I'm almost the owner of a 2000 Corolla (yay!)...3K over my budget (boo!). I guess moving out has moved toward the bottom of the priority list. *sniff* And I still have to borrow some from G's dad, which I'm not too sure about so I must pay that off quickly. Hopefully I'll get to move by....December? *crossing fingers*

Will be on Maui Tues/Wed.
I hate worrying about money. And Tam's still gonna be here for another week. Great, but still, a bit nervous.

Oh, and dinner with friends was great. I need to make my birthday memorable every year. (i can't remember last year's at all!)

Again, thank you so much and hopefully i'll get those emails out soon.
Now off to dim sum...I'll be thinking about many people today. =)

So far:
Jumped off the rock at Waimea
Saw a sea turtle
Hiked and saw Manoa Falls
Hiked more and saw a trickle of a waterfall but also saw tons of mountain apple.
Saw durian trees (!!)
Swam at Waikiki beach (and got a bit burnt)

Upcoming:
Birthday dinner at Todai! (I've been waiting for this moment for months!)
Dragon Boat festival
Grad party
Iolani Palace
2 days on Maui! =)

vacationing is fun. ^___^

ugh. legs hurt. car trouble sucks ass. poor grant.

yay. its now officially my birthday day. Ack. i'm old. ;P

Have a nice friday everyone!!

2 more hours.

Its so damn humid this week. argh! Can't wait to hit the beach. =)

Question for the day: Girls, would you go out in public wearing no bra underneath?
[guys, what are your thoughts on this matter? Do you like seeing a girl who goes without support?]

I personally wouldn't. Too much pointing. lol. I envy women who don't have this problem. But it amazes me how some people can just not wear one and be perfectly fine with it. *shrug*

Laundry Guide to Common Care Symbols

This is what happens when you buy a bra with only symbols for care instructions. *bitter*
Informative tho...i guess.

Today I...

Did 2 loads of laundry and 2 Dryel loads
Put away said laundry (amazing)
Cleaned room (I can see my entire floor!!)
Vacuumed (a miracle!)
Went to bank
Got car loan (almost didn't...whew!)
Got direct deposit form signed
Got all my paperwork Kinko-ed
Went to school and got employment papers signed
Talked with the principal
Got a slurpee. yum.
Organized all my papers
Went to post office
Mailed Rose's gift, my contract and such
Bought stamps
Went to the mall
Bought cheap underwear @ gap
Bought bras and a swim suit @ macy's
Bought a card for G. (anniversary on Sat. ACK!)
Came home, ate
Watched A Walk to Remember.

That movie is so freaking sad!!! And yet, i loved it.

Now its time to sleep. Tomorrow I have last minute stuff to do then Tams comes. ACK!!! So if you don't hear from me in the next 2 weeks, you'll know why. I'm out.

I've been so damn productive today I amaze even myself. ha!

Got whipped creamed and left work super pissed off, on the verge of tears. Damn those people! You would think they would have some courtesy when I explicitly said that I would be upset if they did anything like that. Water, maybe, but not whipped cream. Some people just have the nerve. And now I'm bitter. I hate leaving things on a sour note. >.<

Last day of work. Big whoop. Look what I left. grr.

Last weekend of waking up so freaking early.

YAY!!

Today has been a pretty shitty day. After waking up early, after only getting 5 hours of sleep due to the late ending BBQ last night (which no one really helped me and grant with), we headed over to G's classroom to finish covering the bulletin boards and cleaning desks. The beginning went fine, but once I started talking to him about class rules and procedures, it all went down hill from there. Frustration can make people very hard to deal with, and when I'm thrown into the mix it just gets worse. But I guess we resolved things in the end. We ate some bbq stuff the custodians cooked by our classroom then headed for home early. G had to go get his TB test read, then to the bank, then to pick up his mom since he borrowed the van since he still doesn't have his car (more frustration). I fell asleep on the way home and I felt bad. G only got 4 hours of sleep and still had to do all his errands then go to work. boo.

I took my 4 hour nap and feel better, but still, the day was just not a very good day. I hate fighting. =(

KPop - Paying to Play? Phil...maybe you're right, SM Entertainment could be the Enron of the korean music industry. ;P

And speaking of things Korean...new entry! A history lesson of sorts today.

[yes, i realize its 6:30 am. Fuck off. haha]

Question: Someone visits my site using the address http://jproxy.uol.com.ar/jproxy/http://bhurdie.blogspot.com
Is this supposed to be some sort of annonymizer shit? Cuz if so, I'm dying of laughter here. Someone visits me a lot. ;P

Welp, i finally did it. After seeing Winnie do it countless times, and after glenda and luckykat did it, I finally gave in and colored my hair red. It was either that or blue. I've wanted blue for forever, but it would just come out this fugly green since I'd have to bleach my hair first.

As you can guess from below, I used Herbal Essences True Intense Color #49 Beyond Cherry [they didn't have passion berry. boo]. But I think I was too worried about covering my backside so now I have dark parts in the front. ack. I'm a babo. But yay! First real time coloring my hair. We'll have to see how it looks in the sun tomorrow but even in just my room i can definitely see red. =)

New song above! Avril Lavigne's Skater Boy. It's cute.

It'll have to do until I can get a copy of Lifehouse's Spin. ;P

Things I bought today (half of which I probably shouldn't have):
- Another black Nine West bag & a mini wallet (they were on sale!)
- Herbal Essences True Intense Color #49 Beyond Cherry
- A bunch of snacks like hot/regular cuttlefish, honey milk balls, mixed arare, lihing mui, along with Kona coffee and furikake. No, its not all for me. Its gonna be a surprise for my bestest friend since she had mentioned that she just ran out of her (3 year old!!) lihing mui. Sick. I need to save her from poisoning herself. lol
- Sushi mmm...
- Green Tea boba

Things I almost bought today:
- an 8" Chef's Henckel Knife
- a Cuisinart Ice Cream maker
- the Motorola V60g phone with Voicestream calling plan

The knife or the ice cream machine is still being debated. It's for Grant for our anniversary. I'll give him the choice. ;P
The phone I'm getting tomorrow. ^__________^

Spending money is fun, but it's also bad. I think its the fact that I just got paid like a grand for summer school...but its all going to my future car! Aiyah. And tammy's coming in a week, and I know I'll be spending bucks then. aigooo....

Don't you love when people sign up your email address for shit you don't want. Like they're trying to piss me off with all the unwanted spam or some shit like that. Not like it matters because its not even my most used email address anyway. Joke's on them if they're spending all their time trying to fuck with me. hah.

and dammit...I'm still shuddering! Chicken skin all over. agh!

Oh yeah, new entry.

Odd fact: The only animal/creature that can totally gross me out and make me shiver/shudder constantly is the Surinam Toad. A long time ago, while channel surfing, I came across some animal show and they showed this disgusting toad. It's known for how it reproduces: By carring the eggs/babies in craters in its back. YUCK!! Just the thought of little frogs emerging out of a thing's back (like gremlins!) and leaving massive amounts of craters grosses me out! I can handle looking at anything else but this. And yet, here I am looking for a good enough picture to show you. *shudder*shiver* UGH!

It's SO funny to see how small this island is. I just saw a picture of a friend of mine with a (live)journaller I read regularly. Haha! I shouldn't be surprised though since my friend is *so* Japanese. It's only logical there should be some kind of link..right?

Ok. time to sleep. Too much thinking!

I am in love with Lifehouse's new song Spin.

If only I could find it in mp3. *sigh*

oh yeah...and did i mention that while I was helping clean grant's classroom yesteryday that I bit my tongue and it actually started bleeding! ACK! I knew something was wrong because it wasn't just your normal bitten tongue feeling. It was sharper. Dammit. When the hell have you ever heard of a person who made their own tongue bleed. sheesh.

And then today I bit my lip TWICE in the same spot where I already have a developing cut. I swear, when it rains it pours regarding oral injury. lol

I don't know what to get grant for our anniversary and its only a mere 2 weeks away! aigoo...

I know he's making me a canvas bag that I've been needing for school since he only makes it so obvious...but I don't know if that's for my birthday or anniversary [they are back to back unfortunately for him]. I don't even really think I gave him anything last year. My present was a picnic where I cooked for him...but he ended up not liking half of the food. aish.

I was thinking of getting him the fish and fish tank he wanted for his classroom, but then his dad's friend said that he'd catch some rainbow talapia and stuff from some pond by UH. dammit. Maybe I'll get him a mini aquarium and fish for his desk. I saw some pretty cute ones. Either that or I was thinking of personalizing some school stuff...but I still don't know how I would do that yet. Any other ideas? I really don't want to give him a lame present since he always puts so much creativity and hard work into his gifts. Dang it for me going out with a boy scout and artist! ;P

I was so tired that I slept right after that last post and didn't wake up till now...which is only because I have to go to work. Almost 12 hours! Aiyah.


Now I have a sleep headache. ugh

I'm sooo tired!

Wedenesday, the last day of school, I finished everything up then went to pick up Grant, his Japanese english student, and her uncle. We went to eat, then went to run errands since she was finishing up last minute business before she finally leaves her life in Hawaii for good. I felt like I was driving everywhere! Even after we saw them off at their apartment I still ended up driving because my mom *needed* a letter to be mailed THAT DAY BEFORE THE POST OFFICE CLOSED. ugh. Then we back tracked to get gifts for people at Ward and Alas, looked at pet stores and finally ended the day with dinner at zippys. I still haven't gotten too sick of the food, fortunately.

Yesterday was spent helping a friend of Grant put together her classroom. We basically got everything organized and set up in about 5-6 hours [because it was so small!!! One big room divided into 4 and she got the smallest of the 4! sucks]. All that needs to be done are the bulletin boards and small stuff like that.

Then right after that we went home, got showered and dressed and met back up to go to Karaoke with more of Grant's classmates. It was a small turnout and I'm not too good with singing karaoke in English, but it was ok. Just let me say that Karaoke Room 2 sucks ass.

Got home at about 1130 and promptly fell asleep, only to wake up at 630 this morning so I could pick up Grant and some luggage to take to the airport for his student that was leaving today. She started tearing up. It was so sad. =*( *sniff* They're such nice people. We'll definitely miss them.

Then it was off to eat breakfast, get stuff together and go clean up Grant's classroom. His room is a lot more ghetto than the one we helped clean the day before, but its definitely bigger and more airy. He had already started cleaning on Tuesday but there's just so much to do. We got a lot of stuff put away and cleaned. Now its just a matter of finishing the painting of the bookshelves and overhead projector stand, putting away all the loose books and loose supplies that need to go where the books are currently, putting up the white board he's going to buy, then organizing the furniture, and finally the little things like decorating bulletin boards and stuff. Should be okay. I just have white paint all over me now.

But yeah, I'm so tired. I don't get to have a life this weekend, and I don't see Grant until Tuesday because I have an in-service meeting to go to all the way in Mililani bright and early Monday morning. ugh. And I have to wake up tomorrow at FIVE AM and go to work. GAH!

Not fair. This is supposed to be summer.

YAY! Sleeping in late tomorrow! [relatively...945 rather than 6am. woot!]

I'm tired, but before I go to sleep i need to get something off my chest.

Today I was telling grant about the whole cat hairs on the lady's shirt and how i don't want a cat, but I also don't want a dog because i don't want to deal with the hassle of walking it and such. Then he said "of course, you never like hassle in your life. You're always like that, even with personal stuff." This kinda stung...only because I knew he's right. Whenever he asks if I scrubbed my heels with the pumice stone, I say "not today, i had to wash my hair!" or "i had to shave." To which he replies, "but it only takes one extra minute!" And of course I say "that's too much hassle in one day!" Same deal with eyebrow plucking...which I honestly didn't think I needed, but I have nevertheless allowed Grant to do it himself as he sees necessary. haha. He's very much all purpose...just like cyn's m! Very good with his hands, and he knows stuff about everything! Cars, cooking, sewing, painting toenails...etc etc. He really was an eagle scout when he was a kid! haha

But yeah, I don't like hassle, and apparently it bothers him to some extent. I think I need to reevaluate my stance on things regarding hassle. Perhaps I need to start spending more time on the little things. We'll see how it goes.

Good night.

Grant's getting excited about getting fish for his classroom. He originally was thinking a turtle, but we both think it would be unkind unless it had enough swimming space. So now, after visiting Pet's Discount Warehouse, he's all excited over bala sharks and this mini fresh water puffer fish. So cute! He really would like to get an arowana but uhh...no. They'll eat anything!

I want fish too. Standing in line at Starbucks this morning, I looked at the black top the lady in front of me was wearing. Whitish hairs abound. She has a cat obviously, I thought. So now, as much as I love cats and want one badly, I will not get myself one because I refuse to be shamed and wear clothes with cat fur on it. [unless I can find a really cute shorthair that doesn't shed, of course. ;P]

I would really like to have that puffer fish and some orandas. I like to call them the fish with tumors on their heads.

Oh! But what I would really like to get is a floppy eared bunny...preferrably not white. Dwarf sized too! But alas, too much hassle, and again, the possibility of hairs. Oh dammit. I think i should stop being so picky.

Fish it is. ;P

YAY!! LAST DAY OF SUMMER SCHOOL!!!

I'm so fucking glad it's over, you have no idea. But dammit...I still have to teach them today. grr. Party! haha ;P

It sooooo sucks to have your credit card company suddenly shut down without warning. One day you're happily charging up a storm, and the next, you get a letter from the FDIC saying that the bank behind your card has been shut down by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency! I got the letter the day after my account was to have been closed. Yeah, thanks for the warning.

But see, it wouldn't be that big of a deal for me if it weren't for the fact that I was all set to have my webhoster automatically bill that card for my domain and hosting renewal. Hello!! Talk about inconvenience. I just hope my site doesn't go down. If it does, I'll be an extremely unhappy bhurdie. erg.

So now I'm down to only 2 CCs and one debit card. I haven't even used my 2 cards since early 2001 because I could get points online from my now invalid card. Boo. I'll miss all those free Macy's gift cards. haha.

Here's a question: How many people out there use a Discover Card? It was my very first card, but it so sucks that its not accepted everywhere. grrr. So now I'm sticking with my UH visa. whoopie.

YAY!

Once a week...at least once a week. Or, I'm gonna try. Trying to get my groove back on. hehe We'll see.

yay! I am now 124#s. [we finally got a scale!] I know most women would rather die before revealing their weight, but i'm extremely happy about this. I used to be a steady 130-135, especially living in SF. In early June I was about 126-7 when i went for my annual exam. This means that I've lost about 10 pounds in the last year or so. hurrah! I must've weighed a lot less in the middle of June when I was all depressed and not eating though. Just think, I could've been less than 120. Now that would've been eye opening. I don't think I've been in that range since high school! lol

I LOVE lychee. But I dunno if I'd love it this much. $67,000! Good grief! ;P

Things currently being decided on:

1. Car - used, leaning toward the Toyota Corolla. My budget is pushing me toward the 97 and older however. Preferrably in a light color.

2. Apartment - Studio or one bedroom, preferrably in Aiea, or the non-ghetto side of Salt Lake. I'll consider townside if its a good deal. It has to have a washer/dryer and hopefully a disposal. I'm willing to consider a little higher prices if ultilities are included. I refuse to live in a walk-up. Ghetto!

3. Tammy's visit - Although our phone convo today irked me, i'm still looking forward to her visit at the beginning of August. She'll be here for my birthday. YAY! I started putting together a [looooong] list of possible things to do. The only problem is figuring out when to do them all. We have 2 weeks. Do i plan every single day? Or do I just set out the list and we decide day to day? Am I missing anything on my list? It seems like such a huge task to organize. aiyah.

4. Phone - Voicestream or Sprint? I want one sprint phone in particular, but i like the Vstream plans better. hmm....

5. Camping - to go, or not to go? I have absolutely no f---ing clue. hehe

Any suggestions on any of the above? Please share. In the comments or email. =)

Was bored so I started looking at bridal stuff (of all things!) after coming across a link . Most of the wedding dresses I saw were fugly. Why do some people choose the most gawd awful designs? *shudder* Hopefully someday in the future I won't go style-stupid and I'll find one that looks good on me AND just looks good in general. But of course, that's not for years to come...right? hehe

Random thought: What causes hemmorrhoids? And what does it look like?
I remember once seeing a kitten who's butthole was inside out or something. Maybe it was just puffy and inflamed. Is that hemorrhoids?

Yeah, I'm just thinking about everything except the work I need to be doing right now. No school tomorrow. YAY!

Yay for left over korean food with mounds of kimchee! Its my comfort food and all seems right in the world...

Well, except for the fact that we have no rice *rolling eyes* but that's just a minor detail dammit.

I'm just counting down the days till my rice cooker has its very own spot on my very own counter. =P

My Likelihood of Committing Murder is -42% !!!!!

If you have a score of 0 or Below: You are the perfect being. Any psychotic tendencies you may possess are neatly balanced by you desire to help others and your devotion to the lord above. Well you could be an excellent human being, but you're most likely in denial. Try the test again, and try to tell the truth this time. If you still get a score of 0 then you may very well be the savior of the entire human race.

This is SOOO off. If I'm the savior of the entire human race, then y'all are screwed. I deserve higher...like a +42 instead:

If you have a score of 21 to 50: Your hit list if pretty short, but you do have one. You know the difference between right and wrong, but you just don't see what the fuss is all about. If you had a choice, you would probably head off down the path of goodness, but if cornered you will fight your way out like a rabid dog. Your balance between light and dark leaves your world bright enough to be "normal" and dark enough so that no one sees the severed head in the closet.

haha *evil laugh*

[link from ms. evil]

PS..thanks evil for showing how a math teacher overlooks a negative sign. LOL.

I'm going to dinner and then bowling with a bunch of Grant's classmates now. YAY! I haven't been bowling in years. I'm gonna suck...since I've always sucked. Goal for the evening: To rank no lower than 2nd to the last in the group. hehe But it should be a blast. yay!!

Good thing I finished grading those exams. Grades are due tomorrow. YUCK!

Crazy things you'll only hear from today's high school students
(or...What I heard from my high school students today. lol)
Student A: Miss...stand by her so you'll get crabs.
student B: Look, I just went to the gynocologist so I'm clean and not pregnant okay!

C: Miss, I'm gonna die in 3 months. He told me so.

D: He said the first of my future kids to pop out will be a boy...and I did have a boy!

How do you know if you have a sinus infection? Other than going to the doctor and having him tell you so.

Dammit. The right side of my head feels like it's gonna explode! And my throat hurts from all the fucking coughing. Bah!!!

I HATE BEING NOT HEALTHY!!!

erg. 3 interview calls in one day...plus one yesterday. I've turned them all down, yet I still have no official confirmation that I'm hired where I think I am. I'm nervous. *crossing fingers*

one thing I've noticed though...females that call take rejection a lot more politely than males. Good thing all of today's ones were women.

Example:
Me: "I've already been offered a position."
Response: "Oh yay! Congratulations. Good luck! Okay, byebye!"

lol

hehehe...perhaps this should be the test to end all tests. ;P

YAY!!!!

DaeHanMinGuk ManSe!!!

lol


Talk about compromising positions. ;P
Look at the guy's face! hahaha

I think I'm getting sick.

I woke up this morning with something stuck in my throat. Then I went through the class day extremely irritable...mainly because I have a bunch of stupid students [stupid as in not knowing when to shut the fuck up and listen - not stupid as in well, stupid], and then by the time I get home I have body aches and a headache. Even now, after a 5 hour nap, I still hurt. =(

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow, but I don't want to sound like a flake/weak ass mofo calling in sick now. erg. Besides, I need the money.

I think i'll go to sleep now.

Go Korea! Beat that Spanish ass! lol

I hate when people turn things against me. But at the same time, I can see where he was coming from. Dammit. I could never stay mad at him for very long. It's always nice to be happy and without worries, don't you think? =)

Have a happy day peoples!

well don't i feel like the bitch today. ugh

New song of the moment above: DJ Encore - I see Right Through To You. woo.

yup. my girlfriend skills officially suck. You don't ever want me to be your gf. I will just irk you and disappoint you when you come back from vacations.

pish posh.

So Grant comes back tomorrow morning. He must be getting ready to go to the airport as we speak. How do I feel about all this? Honestly, I'm not sure. Part of me is elated because I miss him so much. But another part of me is afraid of what I'll do or say when he comes back. I have all these pent up frustrations and insecurities and I know its the last thing he wants to hear when he first comes back from his vacation.

My plan: Just to keep acting as though he's 2000+ miles away. If he calls so be it. I'm not going to exert any more energy than he is. I need a balance. Both sides of the equation have to stay equal...just like with the Properties of Equality that we're covering in summer school.

Oh God, I just referred to Algebra in my blog. It's the end of the world as we know it. ;P

WOOHOO!!!!

Korea beat Italy!!!

I think its the start of a great day, don't you? =) *crossing fingers*

These are so cool. I want one.

dude, i take a 3 hour nap just to sleep off the negativity and what do i get when I wake up? More fucking bitching from my mom. I didn't even do anything and just kept my big mouth shut. WHAT THE HELL YO!! Dammit, I don't need this shit. My moving out deadline has just been moved up to September, or whenever the hell i get my first paycheck. Regardless!
Fuckin A....

I guess I can kiss that vacation to Cali goodbye. =( grrr

fuuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk

Everything was just peachy until i came home. errrrr.....my mom is such a bitch!!

Dammit. There goes all those warm fuzzy feelings out the window. ARGH!!!

Yay! Today has been very productive indeed.

I've already told you how I went out and bought myself goodies. And I even ate dinner! [which I haven't been doing the last week or so]

But I've just now completed putting together my lesson plan for tomorrow, 2 quizzes for the next 2 days and planning which sections to cover on what days for the rest of the summer term. YAY!!

I really do feel happier when I get things accomplished. I think I'm setting a goal for myself to either jog or hit the beach tomorrow after work. I hope I don't get lazy and I can pull it off. *crossing fingers*