okay, nevermind. all the shit i want is sold out in my size. i was THIS close to actually spending more money. i really must have a guardian angel...and it most def isn't grant because he couldn't even do a simple thing like prevent me from buying underwear today! sometimes i wonder why i still keep him around..but then i remember that i love him so much. haha dang it. ;P

oh gosh dammit. there's so much on sale at gap.com that i'm sooper tempted. forget the fact that I just spent some bucks on more underwear from gap today. good thing I didn't go up to the women's floor and get even more tempted! but wah! so sad now. such good deals!

I also bought 3 plants today at the Lyon Arboretum Plant Sale at the Blaisdell. I got this cute mini anthurium which is growing on this rock. kinda bonsai-ish feel to it, if ya know what i mean. Then I got 2 orchid plants...a hanging purple one and a small potted white/purple one. I love orchids. They are my favoritest flower..especially the really exotic, strange, and huge ones. Those are cool and I was so tempted to get more!

Dang it! i need a job like pronto!

his car is schizo. his dad came to pick it up and it just started up. lol. crazy.

My poor baby.
First his springs still haven't arrived a month after ordering them.
Then he finds a dent in his car.
Then he finds his radiator fluid leaking from somewhere and has to get that fixed.
Then he misses out on seeing his best friend on her new baby in the hospital.
And now his car won't start.

When it rains it pours.
boohar

I finally found out that Backstreet boys sings one of the songs I've been wondering about for the last week: Endlessly. That other one I asked about earlier is still eluding me though. dammit! i hate that.

so yeah, backstreet boys on repeat. wheee. i love playing out songs way too quickly, don't you?

I swear. Everytime I'm in this computer lab I always have to use the bathroom really badly. What is it about extremely cold ac that induces this? dammit.

Going to see Kiss of the Dragon in a little more than an hour. YAY!

But furst [damn, i can't believe I just spelled it like that...and I want to be a teacher?] I have to finish this stupid paper on my Bon odori experience. How many different ways can a person say "it was an interesting experience?"

Why do mainlanders always have to always have it their way? When they come here they expect everything to be fair? Shit, who cares about a measly 3 bucks? You already spent at least a grand on your trip alone. You're not kama'aina so don't expect to be treated like one. Your people already stole the land from the natives, why you gotta front like you're owed the whole damn world? Damn lawsuits these days.

I am now $105 poorer and I am bound to take a graphing calculator required math test on the 4th. wheeeeee

In other news, I still really want to buy a rice cooker, which will also cost some bucks.
Then the domain name [and hosting! yay!], which I am still fretting over [bhurdie.com/.net, marbhurd.com, marsbars.net, lihingmars.com, or almondeyes.net? (by the last one I was really stretching)], will cost me too.

You would think that as a person who is a starving [literally, my 'rents have no good food in the fridge], college student without a job and living at home would know how to conserve her money, but no. It just slips through my hands. whee! And rent is due at the end of the month. dammit.

There's this song that I've liked ever since I came back home in April. Its hella played out here now but I still don't know what its called and its driving me nuts. I doubt any mainland peeps would know it since its like a hawaiian-ish song...but here's how it starts:

Send me the pillow that you dream on...so that I can dream on it too...

Anyone know it?

I got my boba craving out of the way yesterday with a honeydew smoothie w/black pearls plus some of grant's taro boba with crystal pearls. mine tasted better. heh.

Now I'm craving krispy kreme donuts. Dammit! There's no way I can satiate this one. *sniff* this sux

Actually..now that I think about it...even though I'm bigger than what i used to be, there isn't really much to sag. haha I guess I'll have to wait and see what motherhood does to me sometime in the not so near future. Heaven help me.

I've always had a fear of sagging breasts. Not sagging breasts on other people mind you, but on me in particular. Now most of my life my chest has pretty much been as flat as they come, but in recent months, thanks to the wonders of birthcontrol pills and estrogen, I've plumped up nicely [must be all that ice cream too]. The threat of sagging breasts is now a reality for me. Well, okay, maybe not in the immediate future, but I just think back to my childhood and seeing my grandmother's chest. It's not a pretty sight. Of course, she did have 6 children to breastfeed so perhaps I need not worry so much. But yes, I fear sagging breasts. And now you know.

I was THIS close to going out to a movie tonight. But then the sisters found they were to have ice cream with their family instead. *sigh* oh wells. I better be doing my homework anyway.

yay for having only 1 more week of this class. [but boo for the 2nd class starting monday,]

My digirice site won't be back until the 20th when they "re-launch" with all new features and shit. wtf. i don't want to wait so my impatient ass is so wanting to blow my very limited savings on my own domain. what do you think? I don't even know how much i'll update in the future. what if i get too busy and what not? *sigh* money is a precious commodity these days, but when i'm bored shitless, all i want to do is update. any ideas?

Today I realized I'm starting to have really bad road rage. But it honestly can't be just my fault. People need to start driving appropriately, meaning they use their blinkers at least a few seconds before trying to cut in front of me. And honestly, do people think that the space they moved into magically appeared? I would like some form of thanks like a wave or a shaka. sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

On the way home I was noticing this, but its not entirely my fault. I saw so many people just being really stupid. I mean, a solid line does mean you can't cross it right? Its a shame how many stupid people there are in this country. tsk tsk

I don't know why, but I keep saying that I'm 23 even though I'm still 22.

I was talking to Grant last night about something and I said "I'm 23 and you're 25..."
He's just like "Wait, you're not 23." And even though I'm ALMOST 23, he wouldn't let me just round. "You're 22 years 11 months and 4 days old. If you want to round, you'll be 22 years and 11 months."
"So what you're trying to say is that I'm not quite young, but I'm also not quite old."
"Yeah"
"So what does that say about you?"
hehehe..i'm evil.

I'm hella craving some boba right now. Too bad its about an hour too late. The closest shop is closed now. Oh damn these stupid cravings!

Hmmm...guys get cravings too right? For some reason I'm thinking that it mostly happens to girls, but maybe I'm just thinking about pregnant ones. lol

[Yeah, blame it on the lack of boba kay?]

Fucken telemarketers. Today I got a call to sign up for some credit protect membership. I swear I'm such a weak mugg when it comes to shit like this. I tried so very hard to tell him I didn't want it too but I finally gave in because he assured me I could cancel as soon as I get my membership info. Anything to shut him up, I thought. Just watch me get fucked over a month from now when I get charged 80 bucks for something I never wanted in the first place.

GAH!!! Why couldn't I just say NO and slam the phone down? I swear I'm an idiot sometimes.

I had forgotten that Grant and I walked through Waikiki on Saturday evening. This was after attending a bon dance of course. All of which I wish I could share pics with you.

Anyhow, it had been so long since I last walked through Waikiki down Kalakaua Ave. It's nice just absorbing it all and almost getting the touristy feel in you. Walking through the International Marketplace was fun, even though every vendor sells the same things for the same prices. Its also fun to watch those artists draw the letters in people's names in such coloful strokes. Its amazing to see how one brush can be used to apply five different colors to form a dolphin or some island icon. And lets not forget the new DFS Galleria - quite an interesting site.

But I guess the part I enjoyed most was just the company. No matter where I am, or what I'm doing, it just amazes me how much fun I have with him. It's such a happy feeling and we just keep talking on and on with no drought of topics in sight. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm in love. ^_~

Oh yeah, happy belated 4th of july.

Spent tuesday, the 11th month mark [he's such a cutie. I wonder what I will do once one year hits next month. I don't think i can keep counting the months eh?] at my cousin's eagle scout ceremony and then just chillin afterward. Very nice.

The fourth was spent shopping for fish at Tamashiro's market, doing homework, watching Saving the Last Dance, making poke ['poh-keh' for those not in the know], attending at potluck with grant's school peeps, and watching the fireworks at Kailua beach. Yes yes, very sorry there are no pics. I so need to get playing with g's camera, no? =P

Very nice indeed. Too bad I have a paper and lesson plan rough draft due tomorrow [errr, today]. My brain is just mush from exhaustion. good night.

Aww shit. I have an ant infestation in one of my power outlets.

Dammit!!

Ants are the worst insects on earth! *shudder* so gross!!!

Actually...let me change that. Its not that I'm a status quo kind of person, I'm just someone who chooses her battles. Ethnic and racial issues, yes. Gender, no. Its all about what is important to you I suppose.

Okay, I'm just procrastinating here. None of this really matters. Go on with you lives. Hopefully I'll finish this chapter before 10. *sigh*

Don't you hate it when you have a sore neck and you just wish you could take off your head? Ok, maybe not, but that's how I feel right now at least.

I so don't want to read this chapter on gender. If there is such a thing as reincarnation I most def know that I would'nt have been a proponent of the women's movement way back when. Not that I don't enjoy the freedoms we have now, but I know that deep down inside I'm just not the type to fight. I'm more of the staus quo kind of person. Sad isn't it? Do you think you would've fought for something that had never been available to you ever in history like voting and civil rights? Something to ponder about. hmmm...

I can't believe its July already.
I can't believe its July already.
I can't believe its July already.
I can't believe its July already.

Yeah, I can't believe it either.
Hopefully in 2 days I'll be loungin on the south shore with some peeps and enjoying the lights. =) *crossing fingers*

Well that just sucks. My digirice site will be down for 4 days. FOUR DAYS! boohoo for the lack of funds to move on from this.

And boohoo for the fact that I keep falling asleep while reading this chapter on race and ethnicity. You'd think I'd be captivated, but these authors REALLY over do "the minority is disadvantaged" speil to force it into your psyche that you just want to bash them. Or in my case, tune them out. heh

ho shiznitz! the 2nd harry potter trailer is out and it's definitely increasing my anticipation. it even looks like its following along the first book pretty well. of course i'm sure it'll be nothing like what i imagined. disappointments like that suck don't you think? but yes yes! check it out! harrypotter.com

and while i'm on the subject of movies...fast and the furious rocked. my baby was happy. haha. my only thought though is this: does anyone else think that the white guy looks and sounds like keanu? okay, well at least sounds like? it was uncanny! *woah*

my mom makes it sooo very hard to get along with her and like her. she is too opinionated and stuck in her ways for her own good. she's also rude and feels her stance is always the right one. oh yes, and add bad manners to that too.

its bad enough when i go through it all the time and i need to vent and rant about it, but its even worse when your bf understands everything you're saying because he's seen it first hand and gets upset at exactly the same things. *sigh*

why does she have to go and make other parts of my life so difficult as well?

nuhmoo himdeuruh
boohar

woohoo!

i finally figured out how to do the entry link thing.

damn I'm slow

tooo tired to journal this so blog will have to do. hmm, this means I have to keep it short...NOT!

so since I'm taking this multicultural education class we've started to brush upon topics that I tend to feel pretty deeply about, like affirmative action for instance. tonight's paper is actually about this topic and an article we read regarding the court decision against it with regards to this one law school.

anyhoo..since grant was over I obviously subjected him to a very lengthy discussion about race and allowing minority races to have a bit of a nudge, in a sense, when it came to school admissions and such. then somehow we came to the topic of how grant doesn't like it when people get all defensive and angry about their race [eg, being mistaken for japanese when you're uchinanchu (okinawan)] even when the things that make them angry [like past repression and discrimination] have never directly affected them personally.

I started to agree, but then I realized that I do exactly the same thing sometimes. I'm hapa. I "pull more of the haole [white] side" as grant would say, and I most def don't look Korean. Yet when people ask if/assume that I'm part Japanese (or even filipino) I get kind of upset. Sometimes I think I'm upset at the fact that the Japanese did horrible things to the Koreans in past history, but its also because I like to think that I have at least some "Korean pride" as cheezy as it may sound.

But the thing that really got me was when grant pointed out that I always get bitter or upset when people see me as haole. He doesn't like when I do that, but I honestly can't help it. Not knowing anything about my real dad, I obviously know nothing about being Irish, and with my now-dad's family being extremely small and not as close-knit, of course I'm going to associate myself with my mom's side -- my Korean side. This probably explains why I'm still pretty pissed that my mom put me as "white" on the census form last year. Being the first time more than one race could be checked I would've at least put white/korean. But no. In the eyes of the federal government, I am now counted as white for the next 10 years. shitty. Actually, if I had my choice, I probably would've only put Korean. To heck with the white. They're over represented anyway!

In short, I never liked being seen as part of the dominant racial group; I don't like being seen for something I don't see myself as; I just don't like being seen as white. Call it denial or whatever you will, but it just upsets me when people say I'm white...and it always will. So please, its Korean-American. Got it?

I am about to write the first paper of my new academic year. woopie. And its only the first day. yikes.

Getting ready for my first day of school. ACK! Its kinda scary yo. Almost as if I'm a little kid again.

Hmm...and this is my first time going to summer school since 1994. Unless you count my trip to Korea as summer school, but who would? It was just a mass orgy fest of drinking, shopping, and noraebang-ing. You think summer school could be that fun at UH?

Yes...just 2 more hours till we hit the Taste of Honolulu.

Mmmmmmmm....food.
Goooooood....fooooood.

Don't you hate it when you think with your stomach?

Despite everyone's scathing reviews of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Grant and I went to see it anyway. Everyone was right. But hey, I told Grant that we only went to see Mrs Billy Bob and her breasts anyway. The action scenes were fun but, as has been said many times, the script sucked ass. I mean, for the first 20-30 minutes at least, I kept waiting to hear some good dialogue [ie, more than a couple of sentences]. Sheesh. Bad plot, bad evil villains, but hey, at least the boobs were slightly interesting to watch. =)

I really want to do that thing with the bungee cords though. haha

Our landlord took out $256 from our security deposit. That b*tch! grrr. Most of it was for carpet cleaning, but then it almost seemed as though she were looking for things to charge us for. I mean, bathtub cleaning? kitchen cabinet door? kitchen sink? All of that was left how it came. And to think, she's charging $300 more now for that hell hole. >.<

So the blog doesn't look too good now, but hey, it looks fine when seen through the main site [1024x768 res please].

heh.

Oh its so cool. Noraebang on your computer! woop!

Of course, you have to have korean font, be able to read at least some hangul, and register for an id. But hey, if you're into kpop and can read pretty ok [i've found out i suck terribly these days, esp for fast songs] sing your heart out!

Now you won't have to humiliate yourself in front of all your friends when you miss a word [or 5] or when you hit that high note REALLY wrong the first time.
Practice! Practice! Practice!
And then amaze your friends the next time you all go to a real noraebang!
woop!

Sometimes only those on the outside can see what is truely wrong with your relationship. On the inside, you only see what you want to see and you hope that things will go the way you want. I was that fool on the inside once, and now I'm the one outside looking in. I wish there were something I could say, but words escape me. I wish I could give him the happiness he deserves.

boohar

Ever since Grant got a Canon IXY [aka the Japanese version of the PowerShotS100] digital camera from the woman he tutors a few weeks ago, my desire to get one of my own has dramatically fallen through the floor. Its not that I'm thinking "woohoo, now I sorta have one so I don't need one of my own." No. My thinking is really "dammit, he got one first. Fine then, i don't want it anymore...I want..."

So since my #1 electronic toy of choice has fallen off the list, my attention has started to focus towards this: the Creative Labs Nomad II 64MB mp3 player. Since I'm trying to start exercising more [ie. jogging] I need something to keep me preoccupied, and since my old school diskman is too week to handle the jolts, and I'd rather put up with no sound than record my cds on tape [i don't own a walkman anyway! hehe] this is the perfect solution. =) It even has a digital FM tuner with 32 presets...

...Hmm, I wonder if Hawaii even has 32 FM radio stations. ha!

In my boredom I have managed to take stalking to an all new level.

Remember Cute BART Guy #1? Well, I apparently found an old webpage of his. [no link for fear of...well...you know]

heh

I am really starting to scare myself.
ACK!

While I've been bemoaning the fact that there wasn't a Macy's here, I'm a little sad now that it will be taking over Liberty House. I mean, LH has always be a unique part of home to me. *sigh*

Linky love...

iistix.com has a phat new design yo. Check it out.

I am such a genius.

The sufer cousin visiting for a few days before he hits australia and bali wanted me to go out with him and his friends tonight [i guess so I could be the designated driver..but still] and despite not having anything of the least importance to do, I still decline.

Yes, I am SOOOOO smart.
>.<

Oh yeah! My dream....

Last night I had the oddest and most uncomfortable dreams. All I can remember is that for the most part I was a wrongly convicted murderer facing execution, only that was in California and I was out in Hawaii "hiding out" or something, only I wasn't hiding because I knew that as long as I didn't go back to Cali I wouldn't be taken into custody and killed.

Its quite an unnerving feeling have the feeling that you've been wrongly accused and are facing death. I wonder how many people are sitting on death row right now when they don't even belong there. At times I think the death penalty is the way to go if the crime was severe enough, I mean, if he's gonna get life, he's gonna die there anyway right? But then for the most part its just not right. You can't be killing people just because you're the higher power that decides so. That's so medieval. And what happens when innocent people are convicted? There's not much chance for them to prove to the system otherwise before they're killed. I say, if the dude did something atrocious, let him rot and suffer for the rest of his life behind bars getting raped and beaten and the like. Now wouldn't you say that's the fitting punishment?

Ok, sorry about that tangent. I just was very disturbed at the prospect of being executed by the government for something I didn't do. Then again, I also dreamed about buying Brummel & Brown butter spread and other things so I could cook, all while some great intelligent elder was with me [think Papa Smurf or Albus Dumbledore (of Harry Potter fame)]. So, I'm not quite sure what I should think now.

Yes, odd indeed.

I've been really bad about updating my regular journal lately...and digitalrice is actually working! I can't help it though. I've just been preoccupied with thoughts and being the lazy ass that I am, I'd rather just sit staring at the screen rather than type anything. This is also the reason I haven't been replying to emails. I have good moments tho. Sometimes I'm able to get maybe one or 2 emails out. hehe. What an accomplishment.

But the thing I'm most proud of is the fact that I've burned a shit load of albums [mostly kpop for now] that have just been sitting on my harddrive. Yay for more space! whoop! ummm..yeah. I have no life. I really need to get off my fat behind and turn in those apps. grrr.

Congrats to Paul!

^_____________^

ok...so maybe it wasn't as bad as i thought. heh ;P

Today was grant's first day teaching at that school that mostly koreans send their kids to. From now on it will occupy his mornings. This is in addition to his twice a week stint tutoring english and working at the luau on Mon, Fri, & Sat. Add in his workout almost daily for a few hours plus the prep needed for his class and that just about sums up his whole week.

Unless I choose to go with him to the school [he says it would be good for me to teach math] or unless I help him prep and grade papers like I did tonight, I doubt I'll ever see him anymore.

Am I feeling depressed and neglected? Heck yeah I am. Why wouldn't I? Honestly, I crave attention and when I don't get it, I sort of go into this downward spiral of self-destruction. The thought of all the things I had onced hoped for being thrown away makes my stomach lurch and I hate the feeling. No more Oceans, no more beach trips, no more time to do anything on my list.

But a big part of me just wants to get revenge...I want to do all the things on my list alone..without him or anyone just to prove everyone that I don't need them. I want to throw myself into school and studying. I just want to be the one who is too busy for anyone else for a change.

And that's what I plan to do. I'm going to take myself to the beach tomorrow. And maybe I'll go jogging. And after that, who knows what. I just want to keep busy from now on.

Help prep?
Sorry, I have to to study.
Go see a movie?
Sorry, I already saw it.
Oh, you finally have time free?
Sorry, I'm booked for the next 3 days.

Yep, gotta love how destructive I can be eh?

oh...and did i mention that i finally got my rejection letter from cal last week? yep, the bastids finally sent it to me after making me wait forever. *shrug* oh wells. not like i was gonna go there anyway. its just another one of those letters to add to my ever growing pile.

one day i think i'll set my pyro tendencies loose and do some kind of dance around the fire. heh.

don't know why i feel so down right now. It almost feels as though it wouldn't be home if I didn't feel at least some lingering depression all the time.

i miss grant.
i wish i had a job.
i wish i knew more people here.

i just want to crawl into a deep dark hole, roll up into a ball, and curse the world forever as I die a slow, bitter death.

ok, i think i need to stop listening to this depressing song on repeat.

i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate stress.

*patoowie*spit* yuck yuck. I hate the taste of stress with a passion.

Remembered this morning that it was Kamehameha Day so UH was closed. dammit. I barely made it out of the house too...but I forced myself to go shopping and bought a pretty good pair of shorts. woop! that has been the highlight of my day. The down point of the day? When grant told me he took a job at punahou teaching 7th & 8th graders for the next 4 weeks. Now I definitely will never see him. *sulk* oh well, so goes my life.

and btw, my sister is an irresponsible biyatch.

Tomorrow I have to turn in my loan forms. Then I think I will go to Old Navy since I have to buy at least 1 new pair of jeans. While moving boxes to Rose's car that one day, my pants ripped and I had a HUGE hole in the butt area under the right pocket. "No problem" I said, thinking that it was the pair that already had a smaller hole there so it was destined for the trash soon anyway.

However, walking around looking for a desk, Grant discovered that my pants had a semi-large hole in the exact same place. Changing at home, I discovered that these were in fact the pants that I thought had ripped back in Cali. Dammit! I lost 2 pairs of jeans in 1 week! So yes, I am sort of running low on casual clothes right now.

And I only have 2 pairs of shorts too. Sucks since now I think my ass is too big to look good in any of the styles out right now. haha. No, I did not just say that in public. *doh*

Maybe I'll turn in that Old Navy employment app tomorrow too. ;P

dammit.

I'm refiling my taxes so I can be considered a HI resident again and so I can pay res tuition [instead of the ludicrous amount for non-res] but now I have to pay almost 500 bucks! shit. I know its worth it in the long run but being unemployed makes me very nervous about tapping into my reserves [aka the tuition fund]. grrr.

the government sucks.

Tonight was one of the best nights I've had so far since I've been back.

What did I do? Oh nothing all too spectacular. I went over to Grant's house for the evening. First I watched him carefully clean his car and do all the little things he does to it [it took him over an hour!]. He also taught me how an engine works, but don't ask me to explain it because I still don't know jack. heh. Then we had sweet and sour spareribs, coleslaw, rice, and sashimi for dinner. mmm. It was sooo ono. After de-linting my big tarepanda we watched Bring It On while eating our popcorn-arare mix. yum. It was a really good movie although I would've liked to see a little more character development and story on the East Compton side. *shrug* oh well. Despite my natural dislike of cheerleaders, I still think its hecka cool to watch their routines. Shit, I could never kick my legs that high and still be able to walk. haha When it was over we ate ice cream while watching tv and then I went home. I wish I could spend more Saturday evenings with him like this. It was so nice. ^_^;

I don't know if it's still because I hadn't seen him in so long but every time I see him I can't help but fall in love with him all over again. Just looking at him makes me smile and I get that tingly and mushy feeling inside. Tonight it was also because I got to see him with the glasses and poofy hair I hadn't seen since his visit to SF. Its funny how seeing people in their natural state makes them even cuter sometimes. I'm so happy I have him in my life. =)

okay. going to sleep now. and its only 3:30 AM! amazing ;P

Even though I really have nothing to do at times, I still find no motivation whatsoever to reply to emails, so if you're one of them in my inbox, i really do apologize. Hopefully this will pass soon.

In other news, I think my horoscope is trying to give me a big fat hint:

Make this a working weekend, to the extent that your plans allow. Not to nag, but you've got to take care of some business. How does one eat an elephant, you ask? One bite at a time. Get organized, be productive and feel free to partake of an outing by night. Be careful not to overdo it, however. Don't rely on luck to enrich poor decisions

Damn school stuff. I don't want to fill out the loan papers. And I'm so dreading the subject assesment test in August that I've reverted back to biting my nails. dammit. yes, its a bad NASTY habit [one that I've had ever since my 2nd grade teacher threatened to flunk me], but I only do it when I'm in school now if that makes it any better. heh. I'm trying to cut back, really. ;P

digirice no longer seems to like www.digitalrice.com/members/bhurdie...blah blah and now only works with members.digitalrice.com/bhurdie. so yah. you know what to do. I even updated. woop!

oh yah...and did i mention that i'm working on a redesign? it looks kinda phat yo. but then again, compared to some other peoples' it looks like a kid did it. but hey, I like being a kid. =D and i have no idea why, but every friggen time i try to incorporate a nice blue into my design it ALWAYS comes out purple. dangit. its a sign. so yes, be ready for purple if and when i decide to get that domain of my own...in oh...a couple months? lol

Seriously considering moving to my own domain. digitalrice sucks ass. dangit for being so broke tho. grrr

Been cooped up in the house the last...oh..4 days or so. [going to Office Depot saturday and to lunch for 45 minutes today doesn't quite count] Haven't had anything to do. Strike that. I haven't had anybody to do anything with. Grant works weekend nights and lifts in the morning. That leaves just about 2-3 hours with me in the middle of the day...which isn't always worth the drive over so sometimes I don't see him at all. Yes, my life has come to revolve around grant's. why? Because all the friends that I used to have here all moved to the mainland. woopie. Pathetic isn't it? At least Davee is coming soon. And I suppose I still have Tanya, when she isn't working or doing house chores. *sigh* I'm trying not to get all depressed about it all but its hard when the only thing to look forward to is school and that's still 3 whole weeks away. =/

But no, I don't regret coming back.
I will make it worth it. goshdammit

Now I remember why I can't stand being around my mom at times. She does the stupidest, most annoying things as if the world only revolves around her. For example: she decided she should throw away the sauce packets for the potstickers even though the bag is only half empty and she's not the only one who eats them. All because she doesn't use it and because she's a self-centered $#@%&!!!!

argh!
I don't think I'll be able to maintain my sanity over the next year. >.<

Bad karma example #16: Apparently my mail hasn't been forwarded so I called the Berkeley post office to correct it and now I have to call back for the supervisor tomorrow morning at 8am Cali time. That's 5 fucking AM Hawaii time. dammit.

Example #17: The evil roomie told me I was sent a "dental claim" from my dental insurance provider. I just know this is another fuck up. Stay tuned...

GAH!!!!!!

Example #15 of why I must have bad karma or something because I keep attracting this shit: It all started with taking the good roomie off my gym membership so I could transfer it to a Hawaii location after my move.

2 weeks later I still get billed for 2. I go to resolve it, they take a copy of my credit card statement and make me fill out a new withdrawl form for my credit card for the new amount. General manager says he'll call me in a few days. No call.

1 week later a letter from the gym's home office is sent to me saying the total on the new withdrawl form is incorrect and doesn't match the correct amount [for two] so I must sign a new form. I take it to the gym, the billing person looks it over after I tell her my long story, and she says the good roomie wasn't cancelled off my plan which is why my account still says I have to pay for 2. Since the good roomie now has her own plan obviously she was taken off mine so she says she will contact her person and get everything resolved. "It should only take him half an hour but since its after 5:30 it'll be done tomorrow. I'll call you tomorrow" she says. No call.

3 days later and 1 day before I leave for home, I call for either the gm or the billing girl but the girl is out and the gm is with a customer so "I'll have him call you RIGHT BACK! ok? RIGHT BACK!" No call.

2 hours later I call again and am told that both are out till tomorrow. "The billing girl will be in tomorrow from 7 to 12 though" Too bad I'll be on a plane that whole time fuckers!

Fast forward one week. I decide to cancel it once and for all since I probably can't afford it for now since I'm unemployed and all. Maybe I can cancel it at my local branch. So I call and the girl tells me that it seems to be restricted or cancelled already. She says she'll call me back after she talks to her gm. 1 hour later I actually get a call back!!!! AMAZING! and she tells me that my account is indeed cancelled. Well, that was easy. But it just pisses me off that what if I had wanted to keep it? grrrrr. I swear the people at the Berkeley branch are a bunch of idiots with no sense of customer service. ARGH!!! How do they manage to fuck up on a cancellation in the first place? I have a hunch it was that one girl...the airhead. aish.

Oh well, Reason #538 why I'm glad I'm back home: Hawaii peeps are the bestest.

5:30, 6:15, 7:20, 8:15, and finally a forced 9:00. These were yesterday's wake up times.

Today's: 5:55, 6:05, and finally 6:45.

FuckingA.
I am not enjoying this. But then again, maybe its partially due to my 10pm bedtime? Shit I'm getting old.

Mrs.Tomimoto, my 6th grade teacher, assigned some sort of letter writing assignment. We were to write a letter to someone we admired and then work with a partner before sendig it off. I wrote it, I got it back to make corrections, I made the corrections, and then I mailed it off because I didn't want to get together with my partner. My partner was Steven, my homecoming date jr year, but it wasn't him. It looked like someone else, an evil someone else. So I sealed it into a priority envelope and dropped it into the mailbox. For some reason it was a really thick letter.

On my way home I see Mrs. Tomimoto walking really fast, apparently on her way home as well. I stopped to ask her about the assignment and without interrupting her strides she proceeded to basically tell me that if I don't meet with my partner on my letter, I will most likely fail because my letter sucks ass. I stop, and teacher goes on her merry way.

I ran to the mailbox only to see the mailman just emptying it. He's kind enough to let me rummage through the mail, all three huge mailing carts full. I frantically search yet I can't find it. Mr. Mailman even offers to help and we still can't find it. In the end I accept defeat and I say "Bye Lester" because apparently the mailman's name is Lester. So while lester is on the couch of some music shop taking a little nap, I leave and then wake up.

Now, its 6:45am and can't get back to sleep goshdammitalltohell.

Ever since I've been back I've been having the weirdest and most unnerving dreams. Yesterday one of my dreams had to do with me and Won flying a jet plane and I didn't know how yet I was at the wheel. and now today. Maybe its due to the fact that I don't have a dreamcatcher anymore. GAH! I don't know how many more nights I can put up with this. I'm freakin tired!

I miss my computer.
And I miss my tarepanda.
I hope my boxes come soon.

mean people suck.

there has never been a truer saying.
i don't know what I did, but it just ain't cool to be hittin people while they're down. ya know? so while I will miss a certain friend, being mean and rude to me has hurt more than you will ever know.

boohar

back home.
the humidity sucks.
the shopping is fun.
I am now at least 5 shades darker than a week ago.
Thank goodness. =)

Okay, I really need to vent here. I haven't even left yet [tomorrow at 8am eek] but I still haven't been able to resolve my billing problems with the gym. FUCK! This totally sucks. I have no idea what the hell their problem is but they NEVER return any promised calls. First the gm said he'd call way back when, then the billing person said she'd call me on Friday, then today I call and the girl says the gm will call me RIGHT BACK and yet 2 hours later I am forced to call again. >.< Now I find out the billing chick is going to be in tomorrow 7-12. Too bad I'll be on a plane that whole time. grrrrrrrrr

Okay, I'm done now. See yall in Hawaii ;P

[*sigh* last one till next week]

I'm getting all sentimental over the stupidest things.

Like the last time I rode thru the transbay tube this morning; the last time I stood at *my* spot for BART at the Ashby station; the last time of doing postage on the mail; the last time walking past the restaurant downstairs; or even the last time taking out money from the ATM. Its like I'm not even about to leave. Like I'll be here again on Monday. Its so surreal.

ACK! And I didn't even get to take pictures of all the buildings like I wanted. dammit. *sigh* oh well. Life is just going through a whirlwind of change. =/

Next stop...Zippys! I mean..Hawaii!
heehee

[yay for net access at work!]

Here's an interesting analysis of the difference between the American/Int'l and the Japanese promotions of the movie "Pearl Harbor."

I didn't think about this happening until gg talked about it a few days ago but I guess its something that would be necessary in order to sell the movie. Its just too bad that the Japanese don't really learn about what really happened during the war.

See for yourself: American & Japanese trailer versions.

okay...really this time.

net goes baibai.
compie goes into box. *sniff*

and the good roomie left!

=( boohar

SO SAD!!
T_T

kinda funny...

"Best friend" Rose is coordinating a farewell dinner for her old dorm roomie because she's moving to Florida. She's only inviting me because I happened to ask if we could possibly try getting together one last time [after many failed attempts] and this was the only way to fit me in. *sigh*

In other news, I had a wonderful dinner in North Beach last night at the Michelangelo Caffe on Columbus & Union. It was my last dinner with the good roomie along with her friend from LA, her friend's friend, the evil roomie, and Judy [met in korea]. It was really fun seeing Judy again and the dinner and socializing was just what I needed.

I'm gonna miss the good roomie. She went to take more stuff to her other apt with her friends last night and didn't come back. It was her last night and she didn't even really say goodbye. She said she'll probably still be around by the time I get home from work, but I'm a bit skeptical. *sigh*

Much boohar all around.

YAY!!!

Dave & Busters is coming to Hawaii!!

Woohoo!

Putzing around the house all night is not what I would call very fun. I'm so bored that I've been playing games for the last 2 hours. gah!

And its soooooo annoying to have my ears constantly plugging up [due to the cold i assume] and having to yawn and swallow all day. grrrr.

7 more days. >O.o<

hmm..was that TMI?

I think I should learn to keep my mouth shut.

And this crappy site is pissing me off so once I get back home I'm seriously going to redesign and get my lazy ass going again. heh

Cramps suck.

But cramps don't suck as bad as being 3 days late when on the pill.

Hmm, but I think the granddaddy of them all is being sick with nasal congestion and coughing AND having cramps after being 3 days late when on the pill.

hah! so goes my life.

Had a dental appt today so I chose not to go to work at all. wheeee. And the even happier thing is that I don't have any cavities. wheeheee.

Now its off to BART to Union City to meet up with Won. We're seeing Memento and having dinner. Whoop whoop.

I love Fridays. =)

I have the oddest urge right now.

I want to go to Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park with a bunch of friends and take tons of pictures with a disposable waterproof camera.

Just imagine all the hilarious pics I could take as we slide through tunnels, rush down slides, and mosy in the pools. But knowing me, the hilarious part would be when the camera smacks me in the forehead as I go down a 45 degree incline.
lol

Yuck. I feel even worser today. I'm all stuffed up and yucky.

And last night was so bad. I fell asleep and i woke up at 2:30 sweating! It was sooo hot in my room and I was even wearing a tanktop and boxers! grrrr. I hate not having a screen on my window. I can't leave my window open because EVERY NIGHT I've opened it only to have these HUMONGOUS mosquito-like bugs fly in and freak me out for about 5 minutes or so until I smooosh all remaining life out of them. So gross!!!!

mar.cam

heh. i was bored so i set it up. now you can be bored too.

..too bad its off now. heehee.

Oh yah! and Cute BART Guy #1 was looking especially cute today. That's one thing I'm really going to miss when I'm gone.

Too bad I can never look his way when I pass by him though...Its always so intimidating when they're with a group of friends so you don't want to look retarded by looking their way every single day. lol

Yes, I'm a retard. And proud of it ;P

dengit.
last night digirice ftp was down so i told myself to upload my update this morning. Instead, I fall asleep after my shower and have a heckuva hard time getting up.
oh wells, it'll be like an update for today but from yesterday.

hmm i'm starting to sound like grant "for me from me from you" [??] haha don't ask.

Bah!!!!!!

I hate being all stuffed up!!!

dammitalltohell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>.<

ACK! Hotelier is finally playing on the korean station back home and I fear I've already missed at least the first 2 eps. ack! So I wrote my appa a begging but sweet email to record it for me. heehee

I know what will happen though. He will complain about the inconvenience of it and the hassle of buying more video tapes [and who's going to pay for it?!] but he'll do it anyway just because he's such a sweetie. I love my dad. =D

So I finally gave into the "heat" [even though I think its rather pleasant and plus I've been indoors all day and the bldg management finally fixed the a/c] and I decided to buy a coooool drink. Frappuccino or Jamba Juice? Rather than intake all that "bad bad" caffeine (says the evil doctor) plus the fact that I didn't even need the wakeup buzz, I opted to get some Jamba Juice for the second time E-VER. I got myself a Orange Berry Blitz with an immunity boost [since i'm feeling the beginnings of a sore throat]. I don't like it very much though. This one is too citrusy and sour. *sour face* I prefer smoothies that are sweeeeeeet. mmm. sugar. So I guess I'll have to wait till I go again to try a different one. I don't remmeber what I had last time. I hope they aren't all so sour. Any recommendations?

These days I'm feeling much better. Maybe all that self pity was just pms induced. Yeah, it probably was. But I really think it helps when friends give you an opportunity to vent and then make you happy. Even just mindless chitchatting is great for the soul. Funny how all the chitchatting I've done lately is with people at least 400 miles away. haha. how sad.

ACK!!

Soompar bhurd got engaged!! I'm so happy for her!! heehee. Its about time anyway. haha. jk. They're so cute though! Pretty soon there will probably be little soompars running around. haha. scary thought.

Congrats soompar!

You know, its amazing what watching Xfiles and talking with a SO can do for the soul. =)

Its 5:30 am and I can see the first faint signs that the sun will be up soon. I suppose that's a sign I should sleep now huh. blah

...and then just as I post that, my mom writes me an email. Mom's always have the best timing. =)

Today isn't a very happy day. Not that anything has really happened to cause me to be rather down. Its just one of those days and I'm being overly sensitive to everything...Like not getting my daily email, or not hearing back from "best" friends after weeks, or just...everything. I'm feeling quite unloved for some reason and its making me feel that maybe I'm just trying a bit too hard.

boohar

Gross. I'm drinking boba my coworker got me from some place near/in the Rincon center. The tapioca balls are all mushy and the drink itself is kinda chalky. blech. And it was a friggen rip off!

Yet here I am still drinking it. *shrug* Go figger

Okay, strike that. Felicity and BEN [hah!] are back together now. Dang dramas.

BOOHAR!!!
Joey & Pacey aren't together anymore! He all made a huge scene in the middle of the prom! ACK! Poor Joey. =(
And now Felicity is broken up with ...ermm..whats his face. [yeah, i don't watch them regularly, hehe so nyah!] What's up with all the breaking up maeng?

This sucks

The Taste at Kapolei

I wanna go. =)

It never fails. Whenever I'm walking some distance [eg, farther than just between my desk and the water cooler] I always end up counting in my head at some point. I count in sync with my footsteps as if I'm counting them. I don't even start counting at one; I start at random numbers like 41 or 53. And what's strange is that I don't really realize I'm counting until I reach a *9 number. I don't know why, but I also manage to count the number 79 in each instance too; but then sometimes I'll go from 79 straight to 90.

Ok, I'm starting to sound like I'm metal. I'll stop now.

A little part of me is quietly soaking in satisfaction after reading this article "Japan Finds its Seoul." It seems kind of ironic after all these years. heh

[link via vson]

O_O

Wow.

First, the minimum wage in HI might actually get raised...twice! and Secondly, the age of sexual consent may be raised from 14 to 16.

Just the fact that its as low as 14 is a bit disconcerting, but I think I know someone who will be a bit disappointed about it if the law passes. haha. Umm...better get it in while you can? Pedo! >.<

Grr...I'm so fucking upset. The day was really productive and flew by so I thought I could file this day as a good day. But then 5:30 has to roll around and I lose my BART ticket...the ticket that I just put 20 bucks on. dammitfuckingshitgrrrrrr.

Oh yeah...and Happy Lei Day. You did know that May Day is Lei Day right? =P