Well I feel stupid now. [what else is new]
All this time I thought this song "Endlessly" was sung by Backstreet Boys since that's what it was labeled as on Bearshare. Now, thanks to aleen, I have found out that it's actually by a group called b4-4. And all this time I was wondering why I couldn't distinguish any of bsb's voices. haha
Thursday, August 02, 2001
I'm very disappointed that the House passed Bush's energy plan. Sure the country is in need of more energy sources and the area they plan to drill may be "desert" but it's STILL a wildlife refuge.
It just irks me to think about all of this because Bush's election campaign was majorly financed by oil companies. And lest we forget, he *is* from the oil state of Texas. I mean really, could it look any more obvious?
They could've at least raised the milage standards on SUVs or something. You can't just drill for more and not promote conservation in other areas. Americans are just greedy people who will suck the earth dry till the end. My parents are two of these millions of people. I won't even start to get into the whole Kyoto treaty.
I still think Bush is an idiot who will ruin us all in the next 3.5 years. Just wait till you baby boomers go on social security. You'll be screwed and you'll just have to wonder why. heh.
It just irks me to think about all of this because Bush's election campaign was majorly financed by oil companies. And lest we forget, he *is* from the oil state of Texas. I mean really, could it look any more obvious?
They could've at least raised the milage standards on SUVs or something. You can't just drill for more and not promote conservation in other areas. Americans are just greedy people who will suck the earth dry till the end. My parents are two of these millions of people. I won't even start to get into the whole Kyoto treaty.
I still think Bush is an idiot who will ruin us all in the next 3.5 years. Just wait till you baby boomers go on social security. You'll be screwed and you'll just have to wonder why. heh.
Wednesday, August 01, 2001
This is my horoscope for August 2, 2001, my birthday:
In the aftermath of an agitating episode, you need some peace and quiet. Think of sleep as medicine. Inasmuch as it allows you to rest and heal, it's the ideal cure for what ails you. The solution to a momentous problem will seem more obvious tomorrow morning. A delay puts your subconscious mind to work.
Kinda funny huh? I guess I better take the advice. weeeeiiiiiirrrd
In the aftermath of an agitating episode, you need some peace and quiet. Think of sleep as medicine. Inasmuch as it allows you to rest and heal, it's the ideal cure for what ails you. The solution to a momentous problem will seem more obvious tomorrow morning. A delay puts your subconscious mind to work.
Kinda funny huh? I guess I better take the advice. weeeeiiiiiirrrd
Okay, things are looking a little more better. The cupcakes are done and a chocolate one with sprinkles is set aside for grant when he comes over tomorrow.
This is despite my inner bitch not wanting him to come over because it'll just be for like an hour and i'm greedy and demanding. But i'm trying to repress these emotions. really.
This is despite my inner bitch not wanting him to come over because it'll just be for like an hour and i'm greedy and demanding. But i'm trying to repress these emotions. really.
i'm feeling a lot better right now.
i think it helps to actually get out of the house, even if it's only for grocery shopping [especially if all you're buying is cake mix and frosting. hehe], and stop listening to all that shitty, depressing music. Its better to speed off to safeway while jamming to korean techno. whee.
and now i'm making cupcakes. cupcakes will bring a smile to just about anyone, including me.
that doesn't mean that i'm all happie happie now of course. i still wish grant wasn't such a baby with his cold. sure he just wants to get better and that's why he refuses to go out, but dangit, if your gf needs you...well. i won't get into it. it's not worth it to ruin my okay mood right now. hmph.
anyway...here's a survey to promote some reader participation:
i think it helps to actually get out of the house, even if it's only for grocery shopping [especially if all you're buying is cake mix and frosting. hehe], and stop listening to all that shitty, depressing music. Its better to speed off to safeway while jamming to korean techno. whee.
and now i'm making cupcakes. cupcakes will bring a smile to just about anyone, including me.
that doesn't mean that i'm all happie happie now of course. i still wish grant wasn't such a baby with his cold. sure he just wants to get better and that's why he refuses to go out, but dangit, if your gf needs you...well. i won't get into it. it's not worth it to ruin my okay mood right now. hmph.
anyway...here's a survey to promote some reader participation:
You know, whenever i get really depressed and things seem almost unbearable I tend to think about death alot. Not like killing myself kind of death, just about events that have occurred in the news or in movies related to death. Last night I was trying to think myself to sleep and I couldn't stop having these images pop in my head. Its really bad.
and its really bad that I'm sitting here wondering if the people around me would ever notice if I just stopped eating or if I developed some kind of eating disorder. Not like I'd do it, but if I ever did, it would be totally for attention reasons [as if journalling wasn't whoring enough attention?].
My tummy hurts now since i gorged myself on spicy cajun pringles an hour ago and I haven't really eaten anything else all day [nothing really to eat in this house but chips, ice cream, or twinkies]. Its dinner time now [pizza. woo so healthy] and my tummy is too sore to eat. hmmmm.
and its really bad that I'm sitting here wondering if the people around me would ever notice if I just stopped eating or if I developed some kind of eating disorder. Not like I'd do it, but if I ever did, it would be totally for attention reasons [as if journalling wasn't whoring enough attention?].
My tummy hurts now since i gorged myself on spicy cajun pringles an hour ago and I haven't really eaten anything else all day [nothing really to eat in this house but chips, ice cream, or twinkies]. Its dinner time now [pizza. woo so healthy] and my tummy is too sore to eat. hmmmm.
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
Dang. Good thing I kept that stupid telemarketer in the back of my mind. I was supposed to get shit from them 7-10 days after but I got nothing and I just wanted to get it to cancel anyway. So I finally call today and they had my phone number wrong, those bastids. I was signed up but the authorization wasn't right so that's why I didn't get anything. Grrr. I hate when shit like that happens to me.
Moral of the story: Don't give in to telemarketers just to shut them up because you may forget to cancel later.
Dangit.
Moral of the story: Don't give in to telemarketers just to shut them up because you may forget to cancel later.
Dangit.
Monday, July 30, 2001
Saturday, July 28, 2001
dang...i'm rereading my blog from this year so far and i had forgotten how much i used to write here when i was in cali. All because of the boredom at work. haha. i don't have much to rant about these days so i guess that's a good thing right? but its so funny to remember all the things i despised so much.
Friday, July 27, 2001
Oh yeah, anyone have any ideas for what to get Grant on our anniv? I'm stressin here, and he keeps laughing at my attempts to "casually" ask questions. grrr. ;P
Thursday, July 26, 2001
This is just wrong.
To put a child through a torturous thing like name riddicule on purpose is just cruel and unusual. Its hard enough to get by with regular names!
To put a child through a torturous thing like name riddicule on purpose is just cruel and unusual. Its hard enough to get by with regular names!
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
Tonight is a night for mild celebration.
The prof cut our journal assignment in HALF and made other assignments extra credit. She also cut our class time down by one day. Yay for Ed Psych and creating "inviting" environments. ;P
I now have a teeny bit more time to study math! [woopie]
Now I'm off to eat sushi in celebration. YUMMY!!!
The prof cut our journal assignment in HALF and made other assignments extra credit. She also cut our class time down by one day. Yay for Ed Psych and creating "inviting" environments. ;P
I now have a teeny bit more time to study math! [woopie]
Now I'm off to eat sushi in celebration. YUMMY!!!
Monday, July 23, 2001
On a related note...
i am probably very guilty of spending way too much time on certain sites. i'll check at different times of the day for an update just because i have no life and i honestly have nothing else better to do but point and click. pretty sad huh? I probably should be studying instead, but do you really think that'll happen? So let me lead my sorry existence for the next few weeks at least, please? I am forseeing employment in the next month. there goes my boring vacation. =/
oh yes, my point? sorry for racking up hits and inflating those site stats. heehee. *innocent look*
update: i am in no way implying that others who rack up stats have no life. i am just speaking for ME. that is what this journal is supposed to be right? I think i'm going to have to stop talking soon. since when did i have to start worrying about what people think? man i'm weak.
i am probably very guilty of spending way too much time on certain sites. i'll check at different times of the day for an update just because i have no life and i honestly have nothing else better to do but point and click. pretty sad huh? I probably should be studying instead, but do you really think that'll happen? So let me lead my sorry existence for the next few weeks at least, please? I am forseeing employment in the next month. there goes my boring vacation. =/
oh yes, my point? sorry for racking up hits and inflating those site stats. heehee. *innocent look*
update: i am in no way implying that others who rack up stats have no life. i am just speaking for ME. that is what this journal is supposed to be right? I think i'm going to have to stop talking soon. since when did i have to start worrying about what people think? man i'm weak.
I swear I'm making an ass out of myself almost everyday now.
First Joe, and now Grace. Let's see..."Not everyone whouses anonymizer peruses my site from hawaii is evil..." wait, no, can't use that line again. Its not that i have anything against you or anyone else from hawaii, i'm flattered actually, but i just wanted to say that sometimes the stats makes me wonder [i wish i had name tags for IPs ;P] because hawaii is literally this small. But it shouldn't matter, right? Because I don't have any more enemies that actually live here, right? [As far as i know anyway.] And I apologize for yet again letting my mouth make me seem like such an idiot. You'd think I'd have learned to stick my foot in my mouth at the right times by now.
*kicking own ass*
First Joe, and now Grace. Let's see..."Not everyone who
*kicking own ass*
You know, its more that a little disconcerting when i see someone from hawaii perusing my site for a lengthy period of time. This island is so small, who knows who it might be!
And yes, i check my stats if only because i'm bored out of my mind [ie, i don't want to do my freakin homework, okay?] and i have nothing else better to do.
And yes, i check my stats if only because i'm bored out of my mind [ie, i don't want to do my freakin homework, okay?] and i have nothing else better to do.
Downloaded the new Nsync album yesterday. I'm not liking it as much as the other ones [yet] but I'm digging a few songs like track 5 "The Two of Us" and track 13 "That Girl (Will Never be Mine)".
Yes, I'm an boyband lover. So shoot me. It's not like I'm in love with Justin Timberlake. sheesh. Its all about JC anyway. ;P
Yes, I'm an boyband lover. So shoot me. It's not like I'm in love with Justin Timberlake. sheesh. Its all about JC anyway. ;P
Friday, July 20, 2001
Oops...my bad. Not everyone who uses anonymizer is evil. Its just that I got some really mean and evil emails last year from someone using the service so I'm sort of biased against it. I didn't intend to insult any innocent parties. So sorry. You can bash me now Joe...thanks for siging the gbook though. =)
Boy do I feel like the babo now.O.o
Boy do I feel like the babo now.O.o
Thursday, July 19, 2001
Okay, I don't get why someone would want to view my site through anonymizer.com but if that's you, you're just dumb. DUMB..you know...BAKA?
heh. Its just stupid.
Plus I have this thing against that service. Its pure evil.
heh. Its just stupid.
Plus I have this thing against that service. Its pure evil.
Windtalkers, the John Woo WWII film due out in Nov, looks pretty interesting.
And it was filmed partly in Hawaii to boot. =P
And it was filmed partly in Hawaii to boot. =P
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
Personality Disorder Test
I scored a VERY HIGH for Avoidant personality disorder, and a HIGH for dependent personality disorder. ACK!
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
I scored a VERY HIGH for Avoidant personality disorder, and a HIGH for dependent personality disorder. ACK!
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
Monday, July 16, 2001
I'm super hungry right now but I refuse to eat since all we have is left over pizza and it is almost midnight. I need to lose weight! but oh the tummy hurts. *sniff*
I really hate it when IM chats go awry and I end up crying. I bet the other person doesn't even realize it. It doesn't help that I listen to ballads on repeat the whole time. And I can't even blame this on pms either. shit.
my goal is to not become a super-dependant gf, but yet, some things just make it feel inevitable. grrrr i DO have a life of my own. at least i used to once upon a time.
=/
I really hate it when IM chats go awry and I end up crying. I bet the other person doesn't even realize it. It doesn't help that I listen to ballads on repeat the whole time. And I can't even blame this on pms either. shit.
my goal is to not become a super-dependant gf, but yet, some things just make it feel inevitable. grrrr i DO have a life of my own. at least i used to once upon a time.
=/
anyway, i had ranted about ants infesting my white/purple orchid plant..and its only the 2nd day! dammitalltohell. now the plant is indoors surrounded by a moat. lol. that better keep those suckers out for good dammit.
i also mentioned grant recieved a pell grant on top of his tuition waiver and how i'm sorta jealous seeing as how i'm still classified as a 10K paying non-resident. dammit. but grant really deserves it. i just have to laugh at the thought that maybe some of his excess funds will go to his car now. haha jk.
damn i hate repeating myself. it sounds like shit now.
Okay blogger is just dumb. DUMB I TELL YOU!!!
I found my white/purple orchid plant infested with ants today. goshdammitfreakingshiznit! It only took those suckers 2 days to move in. sheesh! At least they hadn't nested as of yet. I shudder to think what that would've been like. So now my plant is indoors and tilting since I had to pull it out of the container to clear it out and then try to put it back in somwhat back to normal. Poor plant. Hopefully the moat I created in the outside container will keep me from further gross outs. Ants really are the worst bugs. blech!
In other news...hmm, there really is no other news other than the fact that grant received a pell grant for school [this is on top of the tuition waiver he already got a few weeks ago] lucky bastid. I'm all jealous seeing as how I'm still classified as a 10K paying non-resident. Oh well, he definitely deserves it and I'm happy for him. I'm wondering if his excess funds will go to his car. hahah jk
In other news...hmm, there really is no other news other than the fact that grant received a pell grant for school [this is on top of the tuition waiver he already got a few weeks ago] lucky bastid. I'm all jealous seeing as how I'm still classified as a 10K paying non-resident. Oh well, he definitely deserves it and I'm happy for him. I'm wondering if his excess funds will go to his car. hahah jk
Sunday, July 15, 2001
okay, nevermind. all the shit i want is sold out in my size. i was THIS close to actually spending more money. i really must have a guardian angel...and it most def isn't grant because he couldn't even do a simple thing like prevent me from buying underwear today! sometimes i wonder why i still keep him around..but then i remember that i love him so much. haha dang it. ;P
oh gosh dammit. there's so much on sale at gap.com that i'm sooper tempted. forget the fact that I just spent some bucks on more underwear from gap today. good thing I didn't go up to the women's floor and get even more tempted! but wah! so sad now. such good deals!
I also bought 3 plants today at the Lyon Arboretum Plant Sale at the Blaisdell. I got this cute mini anthurium which is growing on this rock. kinda bonsai-ish feel to it, if ya know what i mean. Then I got 2 orchid plants...a hanging purple one and a small potted white/purple one. I love orchids. They are my favoritest flower..especially the really exotic, strange, and huge ones. Those are cool and I was so tempted to get more!
Dang it! i need a job like pronto!
I also bought 3 plants today at the Lyon Arboretum Plant Sale at the Blaisdell. I got this cute mini anthurium which is growing on this rock. kinda bonsai-ish feel to it, if ya know what i mean. Then I got 2 orchid plants...a hanging purple one and a small potted white/purple one. I love orchids. They are my favoritest flower..especially the really exotic, strange, and huge ones. Those are cool and I was so tempted to get more!
Dang it! i need a job like pronto!
Saturday, July 14, 2001
My poor baby.
First his springs still haven't arrived a month after ordering them.
Then he finds a dent in his car.
Then he finds his radiator fluid leaking from somewhere and has to get that fixed.
Then he misses out on seeing his best friend on her new baby in the hospital.
And now his car won't start.
When it rains it pours.
boohar
First his springs still haven't arrived a month after ordering them.
Then he finds a dent in his car.
Then he finds his radiator fluid leaking from somewhere and has to get that fixed.
Then he misses out on seeing his best friend on her new baby in the hospital.
And now his car won't start.
When it rains it pours.
boohar
Friday, July 13, 2001
I finally found out that Backstreet boys sings one of the songs I've been wondering about for the last week: Endlessly. That other one I asked about earlier is still eluding me though. dammit! i hate that.
so yeah, backstreet boys on repeat. wheee. i love playing out songs way too quickly, don't you?
so yeah, backstreet boys on repeat. wheee. i love playing out songs way too quickly, don't you?
Thursday, July 12, 2001
Wednesday, July 11, 2001
Why do mainlanders always have to always have it their way? When they come here they expect everything to be fair? Shit, who cares about a measly 3 bucks? You already spent at least a grand on your trip alone. You're not kama'aina so don't expect to be treated like one. Your people already stole the land from the natives, why you gotta front like you're owed the whole damn world? Damn lawsuits these days.
I am now $105 poorer and I am bound to take a graphing calculator required math test on the 4th. wheeeeee
In other news, I still really want to buy a rice cooker, which will also cost some bucks.
Then the domain name [and hosting! yay!], which I am still fretting over [bhurdie.com/.net, marbhurd.com, marsbars.net, lihingmars.com, or almondeyes.net? (by the last one I was really stretching)], will cost me too.
You would think that as a person who is a starving [literally, my 'rents have no good food in the fridge], college student without a job and living at home would know how to conserve her money, but no. It just slips through my hands. whee! And rent is due at the end of the month. dammit.
In other news, I still really want to buy a rice cooker, which will also cost some bucks.
Then the domain name [and hosting! yay!], which I am still fretting over [bhurdie.com/.net, marbhurd.com, marsbars.net, lihingmars.com, or almondeyes.net? (by the last one I was really stretching)], will cost me too.
You would think that as a person who is a starving [literally, my 'rents have no good food in the fridge], college student without a job and living at home would know how to conserve her money, but no. It just slips through my hands. whee! And rent is due at the end of the month. dammit.
Sunday, July 08, 2001
There's this song that I've liked ever since I came back home in April. Its hella played out here now but I still don't know what its called and its driving me nuts. I doubt any mainland peeps would know it since its like a hawaiian-ish song...but here's how it starts:
Send me the pillow that you dream on...so that I can dream on it too...
Anyone know it?
Send me the pillow that you dream on...so that I can dream on it too...
Anyone know it?
Saturday, July 07, 2001
I've always had a fear of sagging breasts. Not sagging breasts on other people mind you, but on me in particular. Now most of my life my chest has pretty much been as flat as they come, but in recent months, thanks to the wonders of birthcontrol pills and estrogen, I've plumped up nicely [must be all that ice cream too]. The threat of sagging breasts is now a reality for me. Well, okay, maybe not in the immediate future, but I just think back to my childhood and seeing my grandmother's chest. It's not a pretty sight. Of course, she did have 6 children to breastfeed so perhaps I need not worry so much. But yes, I fear sagging breasts. And now you know.
Friday, July 06, 2001
My digirice site won't be back until the 20th when they "re-launch" with all new features and shit. wtf. i don't want to wait so my impatient ass is so wanting to blow my very limited savings on my own domain. what do you think? I don't even know how much i'll update in the future. what if i get too busy and what not? *sigh* money is a precious commodity these days, but when i'm bored shitless, all i want to do is update. any ideas?
Today I realized I'm starting to have really bad road rage. But it honestly can't be just my fault. People need to start driving appropriately, meaning they use their blinkers at least a few seconds before trying to cut in front of me. And honestly, do people think that the space they moved into magically appeared? I would like some form of thanks like a wave or a shaka. sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.
On the way home I was noticing this, but its not entirely my fault. I saw so many people just being really stupid. I mean, a solid line does mean you can't cross it right? Its a shame how many stupid people there are in this country. tsk tsk
On the way home I was noticing this, but its not entirely my fault. I saw so many people just being really stupid. I mean, a solid line does mean you can't cross it right? Its a shame how many stupid people there are in this country. tsk tsk
I don't know why, but I keep saying that I'm 23 even though I'm still 22.
I was talking to Grant last night about something and I said "I'm 23 and you're 25..."
He's just like "Wait, you're not 23." And even though I'm ALMOST 23, he wouldn't let me just round. "You're 22 years 11 months and 4 days old. If you want to round, you'll be 22 years and 11 months."
"So what you're trying to say is that I'm not quite young, but I'm also not quite old."
"Yeah"
"So what does that say about you?"
hehehe..i'm evil.
I was talking to Grant last night about something and I said "I'm 23 and you're 25..."
He's just like "Wait, you're not 23." And even though I'm ALMOST 23, he wouldn't let me just round. "You're 22 years 11 months and 4 days old. If you want to round, you'll be 22 years and 11 months."
"So what you're trying to say is that I'm not quite young, but I'm also not quite old."
"Yeah"
"So what does that say about you?"
hehehe..i'm evil.
Thursday, July 05, 2001
I'm hella craving some boba right now. Too bad its about an hour too late. The closest shop is closed now. Oh damn these stupid cravings!
Hmmm...guys get cravings too right? For some reason I'm thinking that it mostly happens to girls, but maybe I'm just thinking about pregnant ones. lol
[Yeah, blame it on the lack of boba kay?]
Hmmm...guys get cravings too right? For some reason I'm thinking that it mostly happens to girls, but maybe I'm just thinking about pregnant ones. lol
[Yeah, blame it on the lack of boba kay?]
Fucken telemarketers. Today I got a call to sign up for some credit protect membership. I swear I'm such a weak mugg when it comes to shit like this. I tried so very hard to tell him I didn't want it too but I finally gave in because he assured me I could cancel as soon as I get my membership info. Anything to shut him up, I thought. Just watch me get fucked over a month from now when I get charged 80 bucks for something I never wanted in the first place.
GAH!!! Why couldn't I just say NO and slam the phone down? I swear I'm an idiot sometimes.
GAH!!! Why couldn't I just say NO and slam the phone down? I swear I'm an idiot sometimes.
I had forgotten that Grant and I walked through Waikiki on Saturday evening. This was after attending a bon dance of course. All of which I wish I could share pics with you.
Anyhow, it had been so long since I last walked through Waikiki down Kalakaua Ave. It's nice just absorbing it all and almost getting the touristy feel in you. Walking through the International Marketplace was fun, even though every vendor sells the same things for the same prices. Its also fun to watch those artists draw the letters in people's names in such coloful strokes. Its amazing to see how one brush can be used to apply five different colors to form a dolphin or some island icon. And lets not forget the new DFS Galleria - quite an interesting site.
But I guess the part I enjoyed most was just the company. No matter where I am, or what I'm doing, it just amazes me how much fun I have with him. It's such a happy feeling and we just keep talking on and on with no drought of topics in sight. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm in love. ^_~
Anyhow, it had been so long since I last walked through Waikiki down Kalakaua Ave. It's nice just absorbing it all and almost getting the touristy feel in you. Walking through the International Marketplace was fun, even though every vendor sells the same things for the same prices. Its also fun to watch those artists draw the letters in people's names in such coloful strokes. Its amazing to see how one brush can be used to apply five different colors to form a dolphin or some island icon. And lets not forget the new DFS Galleria - quite an interesting site.
But I guess the part I enjoyed most was just the company. No matter where I am, or what I'm doing, it just amazes me how much fun I have with him. It's such a happy feeling and we just keep talking on and on with no drought of topics in sight. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm in love. ^_~
Oh yeah, happy belated 4th of july.
Spent tuesday, the 11th month mark [he's such a cutie. I wonder what I will do once one year hits next month. I don't think i can keep counting the months eh?] at my cousin's eagle scout ceremony and then just chillin afterward. Very nice.
The fourth was spent shopping for fish at Tamashiro's market, doing homework, watching Saving the Last Dance, making poke ['poh-keh' for those not in the know], attending at potluck with grant's school peeps, and watching the fireworks at Kailua beach. Yes yes, very sorry there are no pics. I so need to get playing with g's camera, no? =P
Very nice indeed. Too bad I have a paper and lesson plan rough draft due tomorrow [errr, today]. My brain is just mush from exhaustion. good night.
Spent tuesday, the 11th month mark [he's such a cutie. I wonder what I will do once one year hits next month. I don't think i can keep counting the months eh?] at my cousin's eagle scout ceremony and then just chillin afterward. Very nice.
The fourth was spent shopping for fish at Tamashiro's market, doing homework, watching Saving the Last Dance, making poke ['poh-keh' for those not in the know], attending at potluck with grant's school peeps, and watching the fireworks at Kailua beach. Yes yes, very sorry there are no pics. I so need to get playing with g's camera, no? =P
Very nice indeed. Too bad I have a paper and lesson plan rough draft due tomorrow [errr, today]. My brain is just mush from exhaustion. good night.
Monday, July 02, 2001
Actually...let me change that. Its not that I'm a status quo kind of person, I'm just someone who chooses her battles. Ethnic and racial issues, yes. Gender, no. Its all about what is important to you I suppose.
Okay, I'm just procrastinating here. None of this really matters. Go on with you lives. Hopefully I'll finish this chapter before 10. *sigh*
Okay, I'm just procrastinating here. None of this really matters. Go on with you lives. Hopefully I'll finish this chapter before 10. *sigh*
Don't you hate it when you have a sore neck and you just wish you could take off your head? Ok, maybe not, but that's how I feel right now at least.
I so don't want to read this chapter on gender. If there is such a thing as reincarnation I most def know that I would'nt have been a proponent of the women's movement way back when. Not that I don't enjoy the freedoms we have now, but I know that deep down inside I'm just not the type to fight. I'm more of the staus quo kind of person. Sad isn't it? Do you think you would've fought for something that had never been available to you ever in history like voting and civil rights? Something to ponder about. hmmm...
I so don't want to read this chapter on gender. If there is such a thing as reincarnation I most def know that I would'nt have been a proponent of the women's movement way back when. Not that I don't enjoy the freedoms we have now, but I know that deep down inside I'm just not the type to fight. I'm more of the staus quo kind of person. Sad isn't it? Do you think you would've fought for something that had never been available to you ever in history like voting and civil rights? Something to ponder about. hmmm...
Sunday, July 01, 2001
Well that just sucks. My digirice site will be down for 4 days. FOUR DAYS! boohoo for the lack of funds to move on from this.
And boohoo for the fact that I keep falling asleep while reading this chapter on race and ethnicity. You'd think I'd be captivated, but these authors REALLY over do "the minority is disadvantaged" speil to force it into your psyche that you just want to bash them. Or in my case, tune them out. heh
And boohoo for the fact that I keep falling asleep while reading this chapter on race and ethnicity. You'd think I'd be captivated, but these authors REALLY over do "the minority is disadvantaged" speil to force it into your psyche that you just want to bash them. Or in my case, tune them out. heh
Thursday, June 28, 2001
ho shiznitz! the 2nd harry potter trailer is out and it's definitely increasing my anticipation. it even looks like its following along the first book pretty well. of course i'm sure it'll be nothing like what i imagined. disappointments like that suck don't you think? but yes yes! check it out! harrypotter.com
and while i'm on the subject of movies...fast and the furious rocked. my baby was happy. haha. my only thought though is this: does anyone else think that the white guy looks and sounds like keanu? okay, well at least sounds like? it was uncanny! *woah*
and while i'm on the subject of movies...fast and the furious rocked. my baby was happy. haha. my only thought though is this: does anyone else think that the white guy looks and sounds like keanu? okay, well at least sounds like? it was uncanny! *woah*
Wednesday, June 27, 2001
my mom makes it sooo very hard to get along with her and like her. she is too opinionated and stuck in her ways for her own good. she's also rude and feels her stance is always the right one. oh yes, and add bad manners to that too.
its bad enough when i go through it all the time and i need to vent and rant about it, but its even worse when your bf understands everything you're saying because he's seen it first hand and gets upset at exactly the same things. *sigh*
why does she have to go and make other parts of my life so difficult as well?
nuhmoo himdeuruh
boohar
its bad enough when i go through it all the time and i need to vent and rant about it, but its even worse when your bf understands everything you're saying because he's seen it first hand and gets upset at exactly the same things. *sigh*
why does she have to go and make other parts of my life so difficult as well?
nuhmoo himdeuruh
boohar
Tuesday, June 26, 2001
tooo tired to journal this so blog will have to do. hmm, this means I have to keep it short...NOT!
so since I'm taking this multicultural education class we've started to brush upon topics that I tend to feel pretty deeply about, like affirmative action for instance. tonight's paper is actually about this topic and an article we read regarding the court decision against it with regards to this one law school.
anyhoo..since grant was over I obviously subjected him to a very lengthy discussion about race and allowing minority races to have a bit of a nudge, in a sense, when it came to school admissions and such. then somehow we came to the topic of how grant doesn't like it when people get all defensive and angry about their race [eg, being mistaken for japanese when you're uchinanchu (okinawan)] even when the things that make them angry [like past repression and discrimination] have never directly affected them personally.
I started to agree, but then I realized that I do exactly the same thing sometimes. I'm hapa. I "pull more of the haole [white] side" as grant would say, and I most def don't look Korean. Yet when people ask if/assume that I'm part Japanese (or even filipino) I get kind of upset. Sometimes I think I'm upset at the fact that the Japanese did horrible things to the Koreans in past history, but its also because I like to think that I have at least some "Korean pride" as cheezy as it may sound.
But the thing that really got me was when grant pointed out that I always get bitter or upset when people see me as haole. He doesn't like when I do that, but I honestly can't help it. Not knowing anything about my real dad, I obviously know nothing about being Irish, and with my now-dad's family being extremely small and not as close-knit, of course I'm going to associate myself with my mom's side -- my Korean side. This probably explains why I'm still pretty pissed that my mom put me as "white" on the census form last year. Being the first time more than one race could be checked I would've at least put white/korean. But no. In the eyes of the federal government, I am now counted as white for the next 10 years. shitty. Actually, if I had my choice, I probably would've only put Korean. To heck with the white. They're over represented anyway!
In short, I never liked being seen as part of the dominant racial group; I don't like being seen for something I don't see myself as; I just don't like being seen as white. Call it denial or whatever you will, but it just upsets me when people say I'm white...and it always will. So please, its Korean-American. Got it?
so since I'm taking this multicultural education class we've started to brush upon topics that I tend to feel pretty deeply about, like affirmative action for instance. tonight's paper is actually about this topic and an article we read regarding the court decision against it with regards to this one law school.
anyhoo..since grant was over I obviously subjected him to a very lengthy discussion about race and allowing minority races to have a bit of a nudge, in a sense, when it came to school admissions and such. then somehow we came to the topic of how grant doesn't like it when people get all defensive and angry about their race [eg, being mistaken for japanese when you're uchinanchu (okinawan)] even when the things that make them angry [like past repression and discrimination] have never directly affected them personally.
I started to agree, but then I realized that I do exactly the same thing sometimes. I'm hapa. I "pull more of the haole [white] side" as grant would say, and I most def don't look Korean. Yet when people ask if/assume that I'm part Japanese (or even filipino) I get kind of upset. Sometimes I think I'm upset at the fact that the Japanese did horrible things to the Koreans in past history, but its also because I like to think that I have at least some "Korean pride" as cheezy as it may sound.
But the thing that really got me was when grant pointed out that I always get bitter or upset when people see me as haole. He doesn't like when I do that, but I honestly can't help it. Not knowing anything about my real dad, I obviously know nothing about being Irish, and with my now-dad's family being extremely small and not as close-knit, of course I'm going to associate myself with my mom's side -- my Korean side. This probably explains why I'm still pretty pissed that my mom put me as "white" on the census form last year. Being the first time more than one race could be checked I would've at least put white/korean. But no. In the eyes of the federal government, I am now counted as white for the next 10 years. shitty. Actually, if I had my choice, I probably would've only put Korean. To heck with the white. They're over represented anyway!
In short, I never liked being seen as part of the dominant racial group; I don't like being seen for something I don't see myself as; I just don't like being seen as white. Call it denial or whatever you will, but it just upsets me when people say I'm white...and it always will. So please, its Korean-American. Got it?
Monday, June 25, 2001
Getting ready for my first day of school. ACK! Its kinda scary yo. Almost as if I'm a little kid again.
Hmm...and this is my first time going to summer school since 1994. Unless you count my trip to Korea as summer school, but who would? It was just a mass orgy fest of drinking, shopping, and noraebang-ing. You think summer school could be that fun at UH?
Hmm...and this is my first time going to summer school since 1994. Unless you count my trip to Korea as summer school, but who would? It was just a mass orgy fest of drinking, shopping, and noraebang-ing. You think summer school could be that fun at UH?
Saturday, June 23, 2001
Yes...just 2 more hours till we hit the Taste of Honolulu.
Mmmmmmmm....food.
Goooooood....fooooood.
Don't you hate it when you think with your stomach?
Mmmmmmmm....food.
Goooooood....fooooood.
Don't you hate it when you think with your stomach?
Despite everyone's scathing reviews of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Grant and I went to see it anyway. Everyone was right. But hey, I told Grant that we only went to see Mrs Billy Bob and her breasts anyway. The action scenes were fun but, as has been said many times, the script sucked ass. I mean, for the first 20-30 minutes at least, I kept waiting to hear some good dialogue [ie, more than a couple of sentences]. Sheesh. Bad plot, bad evil villains, but hey, at least the boobs were slightly interesting to watch. =)
I really want to do that thing with the bungee cords though. haha
I really want to do that thing with the bungee cords though. haha
Our landlord took out $256 from our security deposit. That b*tch! grrr. Most of it was for carpet cleaning, but then it almost seemed as though she were looking for things to charge us for. I mean, bathtub cleaning? kitchen cabinet door? kitchen sink? All of that was left how it came. And to think, she's charging $300 more now for that hell hole. >.<
Thursday, June 21, 2001
So the blog doesn't look too good now, but hey, it looks fine when seen through the main site [1024x768 res please].
heh.
heh.
Oh its so cool. Noraebang on your computer! woop!
Of course, you have to have korean font, be able to read at least some hangul, and register for an id. But hey, if you're into kpop and can read pretty ok [i've found out i suck terribly these days, esp for fast songs] sing your heart out!
Now you won't have to humiliate yourself in front of all your friends when you miss a word [or 5] or when you hit that high note REALLY wrong the first time.
Practice! Practice! Practice!
And then amaze your friends the next time you all go to a real noraebang!
woop!
Of course, you have to have korean font, be able to read at least some hangul, and register for an id. But hey, if you're into kpop and can read pretty ok [i've found out i suck terribly these days, esp for fast songs] sing your heart out!
Now you won't have to humiliate yourself in front of all your friends when you miss a word [or 5] or when you hit that high note REALLY wrong the first time.
Practice! Practice! Practice!
And then amaze your friends the next time you all go to a real noraebang!
woop!
Sometimes only those on the outside can see what is truely wrong with your relationship. On the inside, you only see what you want to see and you hope that things will go the way you want. I was that fool on the inside once, and now I'm the one outside looking in. I wish there were something I could say, but words escape me. I wish I could give him the happiness he deserves.
boohar
boohar
Tuesday, June 19, 2001
Ever since Grant got a Canon IXY [aka the Japanese version of the PowerShotS100] digital camera from the woman he tutors a few weeks ago, my desire to get one of my own has dramatically fallen through the floor. Its not that I'm thinking "woohoo, now I sorta have one so I don't need one of my own." No. My thinking is really "dammit, he got one first. Fine then, i don't want it anymore...I want..."
So since my #1 electronic toy of choice has fallen off the list, my attention has started to focus towards this: the Creative Labs Nomad II 64MB mp3 player. Since I'm trying to start exercising more [ie. jogging] I need something to keep me preoccupied, and since my old school diskman is too week to handle the jolts, and I'd rather put up with no sound than record my cds on tape [i don't own a walkman anyway! hehe] this is the perfect solution. =) It even has a digital FM tuner with 32 presets...
...Hmm, I wonder if Hawaii even has 32 FM radio stations. ha!
So since my #1 electronic toy of choice has fallen off the list, my attention has started to focus towards this: the Creative Labs Nomad II 64MB mp3 player. Since I'm trying to start exercising more [ie. jogging] I need something to keep me preoccupied, and since my old school diskman is too week to handle the jolts, and I'd rather put up with no sound than record my cds on tape [i don't own a walkman anyway! hehe] this is the perfect solution. =) It even has a digital FM tuner with 32 presets...
...Hmm, I wonder if Hawaii even has 32 FM radio stations. ha!
While I've been bemoaning the fact that there wasn't a Macy's here, I'm a little sad now that it will be taking over Liberty House. I mean, LH has always be a unique part of home to me. *sigh*
Sunday, June 17, 2001
Saturday, June 16, 2001
I am such a genius.
The sufer cousin visiting for a few days before he hits australia and bali wanted me to go out with him and his friends tonight [i guess so I could be the designated driver..but still] and despite not having anything of the least importance to do, I still decline.
Yes, I am SOOOOO smart.
>.<
The sufer cousin visiting for a few days before he hits australia and bali wanted me to go out with him and his friends tonight [i guess so I could be the designated driver..but still] and despite not having anything of the least importance to do, I still decline.
Yes, I am SOOOOO smart.
>.<
Thursday, June 14, 2001
Oh yeah! My dream....
Last night I had the oddest and most uncomfortable dreams. All I can remember is that for the most part I was a wrongly convicted murderer facing execution, only that was in California and I was out in Hawaii "hiding out" or something, only I wasn't hiding because I knew that as long as I didn't go back to Cali I wouldn't be taken into custody and killed.
Its quite an unnerving feeling have the feeling that you've been wrongly accused and are facing death. I wonder how many people are sitting on death row right now when they don't even belong there. At times I think the death penalty is the way to go if the crime was severe enough, I mean, if he's gonna get life, he's gonna die there anyway right? But then for the most part its just not right. You can't be killing people just because you're the higher power that decides so. That's so medieval. And what happens when innocent people are convicted? There's not much chance for them to prove to the system otherwise before they're killed. I say, if the dude did something atrocious, let him rot and suffer for the rest of his life behind bars getting raped and beaten and the like. Now wouldn't you say that's the fitting punishment?
Ok, sorry about that tangent. I just was very disturbed at the prospect of being executed by the government for something I didn't do. Then again, I also dreamed about buying Brummel & Brown butter spread and other things so I could cook, all while some great intelligent elder was with me [think Papa Smurf or Albus Dumbledore (of Harry Potter fame)]. So, I'm not quite sure what I should think now.
Yes, odd indeed.
Last night I had the oddest and most uncomfortable dreams. All I can remember is that for the most part I was a wrongly convicted murderer facing execution, only that was in California and I was out in Hawaii "hiding out" or something, only I wasn't hiding because I knew that as long as I didn't go back to Cali I wouldn't be taken into custody and killed.
Its quite an unnerving feeling have the feeling that you've been wrongly accused and are facing death. I wonder how many people are sitting on death row right now when they don't even belong there. At times I think the death penalty is the way to go if the crime was severe enough, I mean, if he's gonna get life, he's gonna die there anyway right? But then for the most part its just not right. You can't be killing people just because you're the higher power that decides so. That's so medieval. And what happens when innocent people are convicted? There's not much chance for them to prove to the system otherwise before they're killed. I say, if the dude did something atrocious, let him rot and suffer for the rest of his life behind bars getting raped and beaten and the like. Now wouldn't you say that's the fitting punishment?
Ok, sorry about that tangent. I just was very disturbed at the prospect of being executed by the government for something I didn't do. Then again, I also dreamed about buying Brummel & Brown butter spread and other things so I could cook, all while some great intelligent elder was with me [think Papa Smurf or Albus Dumbledore (of Harry Potter fame)]. So, I'm not quite sure what I should think now.
Yes, odd indeed.
I've been really bad about updating my regular journal lately...and digitalrice is actually working! I can't help it though. I've just been preoccupied with thoughts and being the lazy ass that I am, I'd rather just sit staring at the screen rather than type anything. This is also the reason I haven't been replying to emails. I have good moments tho. Sometimes I'm able to get maybe one or 2 emails out. hehe. What an accomplishment.
But the thing I'm most proud of is the fact that I've burned a shit load of albums [mostly kpop for now] that have just been sitting on my harddrive. Yay for more space! whoop! ummm..yeah. I have no life. I really need to get off my fat behind and turn in those apps. grrr.
But the thing I'm most proud of is the fact that I've burned a shit load of albums [mostly kpop for now] that have just been sitting on my harddrive. Yay for more space! whoop! ummm..yeah. I have no life. I really need to get off my fat behind and turn in those apps. grrr.
Wednesday, June 13, 2001
Today was grant's first day teaching at that school that mostly koreans send their kids to. From now on it will occupy his mornings. This is in addition to his twice a week stint tutoring english and working at the luau on Mon, Fri, & Sat. Add in his workout almost daily for a few hours plus the prep needed for his class and that just about sums up his whole week.
Unless I choose to go with him to the school [he says it would be good for me to teach math] or unless I help him prep and grade papers like I did tonight, I doubt I'll ever see him anymore.
Am I feeling depressed and neglected? Heck yeah I am. Why wouldn't I? Honestly, I crave attention and when I don't get it, I sort of go into this downward spiral of self-destruction. The thought of all the things I had onced hoped for being thrown away makes my stomach lurch and I hate the feeling. No more Oceans, no more beach trips, no more time to do anything on my list.
But a big part of me just wants to get revenge...I want to do all the things on my list alone..without him or anyone just to prove everyone that I don't need them. I want to throw myself into school and studying. I just want to be the one who is too busy for anyone else for a change.
And that's what I plan to do. I'm going to take myself to the beach tomorrow. And maybe I'll go jogging. And after that, who knows what. I just want to keep busy from now on.
Help prep?
Sorry, I have to to study.
Go see a movie?
Sorry, I already saw it.
Oh, you finally have time free?
Sorry, I'm booked for the next 3 days.
Yep, gotta love how destructive I can be eh?
Unless I choose to go with him to the school [he says it would be good for me to teach math] or unless I help him prep and grade papers like I did tonight, I doubt I'll ever see him anymore.
Am I feeling depressed and neglected? Heck yeah I am. Why wouldn't I? Honestly, I crave attention and when I don't get it, I sort of go into this downward spiral of self-destruction. The thought of all the things I had onced hoped for being thrown away makes my stomach lurch and I hate the feeling. No more Oceans, no more beach trips, no more time to do anything on my list.
But a big part of me just wants to get revenge...I want to do all the things on my list alone..without him or anyone just to prove everyone that I don't need them. I want to throw myself into school and studying. I just want to be the one who is too busy for anyone else for a change.
And that's what I plan to do. I'm going to take myself to the beach tomorrow. And maybe I'll go jogging. And after that, who knows what. I just want to keep busy from now on.
Help prep?
Sorry, I have to to study.
Go see a movie?
Sorry, I already saw it.
Oh, you finally have time free?
Sorry, I'm booked for the next 3 days.
Yep, gotta love how destructive I can be eh?
Tuesday, June 12, 2001
oh...and did i mention that i finally got my rejection letter from cal last week? yep, the bastids finally sent it to me after making me wait forever. *shrug* oh wells. not like i was gonna go there anyway. its just another one of those letters to add to my ever growing pile.
one day i think i'll set my pyro tendencies loose and do some kind of dance around the fire. heh.
one day i think i'll set my pyro tendencies loose and do some kind of dance around the fire. heh.
don't know why i feel so down right now. It almost feels as though it wouldn't be home if I didn't feel at least some lingering depression all the time.
i miss grant.
i wish i had a job.
i wish i knew more people here.
i just want to crawl into a deep dark hole, roll up into a ball, and curse the world forever as I die a slow, bitter death.
ok, i think i need to stop listening to this depressing song on repeat.
i miss grant.
i wish i had a job.
i wish i knew more people here.
i just want to crawl into a deep dark hole, roll up into a ball, and curse the world forever as I die a slow, bitter death.
ok, i think i need to stop listening to this depressing song on repeat.
Monday, June 11, 2001
i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate stress.
*patoowie*spit* yuck yuck. I hate the taste of stress with a passion.
Remembered this morning that it was Kamehameha Day so UH was closed. dammit. I barely made it out of the house too...but I forced myself to go shopping and bought a pretty good pair of shorts. woop! that has been the highlight of my day. The down point of the day? When grant told me he took a job at punahou teaching 7th & 8th graders for the next 4 weeks. Now I definitely will never see him. *sulk* oh well, so goes my life.
and btw, my sister is an irresponsible biyatch.
*patoowie*spit* yuck yuck. I hate the taste of stress with a passion.
Remembered this morning that it was Kamehameha Day so UH was closed. dammit. I barely made it out of the house too...but I forced myself to go shopping and bought a pretty good pair of shorts. woop! that has been the highlight of my day. The down point of the day? When grant told me he took a job at punahou teaching 7th & 8th graders for the next 4 weeks. Now I definitely will never see him. *sulk* oh well, so goes my life.
and btw, my sister is an irresponsible biyatch.
Sunday, June 10, 2001
Tomorrow I have to turn in my loan forms. Then I think I will go to Old Navy since I have to buy at least 1 new pair of jeans. While moving boxes to Rose's car that one day, my pants ripped and I had a HUGE hole in the butt area under the right pocket. "No problem" I said, thinking that it was the pair that already had a smaller hole there so it was destined for the trash soon anyway.
However, walking around looking for a desk, Grant discovered that my pants had a semi-large hole in the exact same place. Changing at home, I discovered that these were in fact the pants that I thought had ripped back in Cali. Dammit! I lost 2 pairs of jeans in 1 week! So yes, I am sort of running low on casual clothes right now.
And I only have 2 pairs of shorts too. Sucks since now I think my ass is too big to look good in any of the styles out right now. haha. No, I did not just say that in public. *doh*
Maybe I'll turn in that Old Navy employment app tomorrow too. ;P
However, walking around looking for a desk, Grant discovered that my pants had a semi-large hole in the exact same place. Changing at home, I discovered that these were in fact the pants that I thought had ripped back in Cali. Dammit! I lost 2 pairs of jeans in 1 week! So yes, I am sort of running low on casual clothes right now.
And I only have 2 pairs of shorts too. Sucks since now I think my ass is too big to look good in any of the styles out right now. haha. No, I did not just say that in public. *doh*
Maybe I'll turn in that Old Navy employment app tomorrow too. ;P
dammit.
I'm refiling my taxes so I can be considered a HI resident again and so I can pay res tuition [instead of the ludicrous amount for non-res] but now I have to pay almost 500 bucks! shit. I know its worth it in the long run but being unemployed makes me very nervous about tapping into my reserves [aka the tuition fund]. grrr.
the government sucks.
I'm refiling my taxes so I can be considered a HI resident again and so I can pay res tuition [instead of the ludicrous amount for non-res] but now I have to pay almost 500 bucks! shit. I know its worth it in the long run but being unemployed makes me very nervous about tapping into my reserves [aka the tuition fund]. grrr.
the government sucks.
Tonight was one of the best nights I've had so far since I've been back.
What did I do? Oh nothing all too spectacular. I went over to Grant's house for the evening. First I watched him carefully clean his car and do all the little things he does to it [it took him over an hour!]. He also taught me how an engine works, but don't ask me to explain it because I still don't know jack. heh. Then we had sweet and sour spareribs, coleslaw, rice, and sashimi for dinner. mmm. It was sooo ono. After de-linting my big tarepanda we watched Bring It On while eating our popcorn-arare mix. yum. It was a really good movie although I would've liked to see a little more character development and story on the East Compton side. *shrug* oh well. Despite my natural dislike of cheerleaders, I still think its hecka cool to watch their routines. Shit, I could never kick my legs that high and still be able to walk. haha When it was over we ate ice cream while watching tv and then I went home. I wish I could spend more Saturday evenings with him like this. It was so nice. ^_^;
I don't know if it's still because I hadn't seen him in so long but every time I see him I can't help but fall in love with him all over again. Just looking at him makes me smile and I get that tingly and mushy feeling inside. Tonight it was also because I got to see him with the glasses and poofy hair I hadn't seen since his visit to SF. Its funny how seeing people in their natural state makes them even cuter sometimes. I'm so happy I have him in my life. =)
What did I do? Oh nothing all too spectacular. I went over to Grant's house for the evening. First I watched him carefully clean his car and do all the little things he does to it [it took him over an hour!]. He also taught me how an engine works, but don't ask me to explain it because I still don't know jack. heh. Then we had sweet and sour spareribs, coleslaw, rice, and sashimi for dinner. mmm. It was sooo ono. After de-linting my big tarepanda we watched Bring It On while eating our popcorn-arare mix. yum. It was a really good movie although I would've liked to see a little more character development and story on the East Compton side. *shrug* oh well. Despite my natural dislike of cheerleaders, I still think its hecka cool to watch their routines. Shit, I could never kick my legs that high and still be able to walk. haha When it was over we ate ice cream while watching tv and then I went home. I wish I could spend more Saturday evenings with him like this. It was so nice. ^_^;
I don't know if it's still because I hadn't seen him in so long but every time I see him I can't help but fall in love with him all over again. Just looking at him makes me smile and I get that tingly and mushy feeling inside. Tonight it was also because I got to see him with the glasses and poofy hair I hadn't seen since his visit to SF. Its funny how seeing people in their natural state makes them even cuter sometimes. I'm so happy I have him in my life. =)
Friday, June 08, 2001
Even though I really have nothing to do at times, I still find no motivation whatsoever to reply to emails, so if you're one of them in my inbox, i really do apologize. Hopefully this will pass soon.
In other news, I think my horoscope is trying to give me a big fat hint:
Make this a working weekend, to the extent that your plans allow. Not to nag, but you've got to take care of some business. How does one eat an elephant, you ask? One bite at a time. Get organized, be productive and feel free to partake of an outing by night. Be careful not to overdo it, however. Don't rely on luck to enrich poor decisions
Damn school stuff. I don't want to fill out the loan papers. And I'm so dreading the subject assesment test in August that I've reverted back to biting my nails. dammit. yes, its a bad NASTY habit [one that I've had ever since my 2nd grade teacher threatened to flunk me], but I only do it when I'm in school now if that makes it any better. heh. I'm trying to cut back, really. ;P
In other news, I think my horoscope is trying to give me a big fat hint:
Make this a working weekend, to the extent that your plans allow. Not to nag, but you've got to take care of some business. How does one eat an elephant, you ask? One bite at a time. Get organized, be productive and feel free to partake of an outing by night. Be careful not to overdo it, however. Don't rely on luck to enrich poor decisions
Damn school stuff. I don't want to fill out the loan papers. And I'm so dreading the subject assesment test in August that I've reverted back to biting my nails. dammit. yes, its a bad NASTY habit [one that I've had ever since my 2nd grade teacher threatened to flunk me], but I only do it when I'm in school now if that makes it any better. heh. I'm trying to cut back, really. ;P
Thursday, June 07, 2001
digirice no longer seems to like www.digitalrice.com/members/bhurdie...blah blah and now only works with members.digitalrice.com/bhurdie. so yah. you know what to do. I even updated. woop!
oh yah...and did i mention that i'm working on a redesign? it looks kinda phat yo. but then again, compared to some other peoples' it looks like a kid did it. but hey, I like being a kid. =D and i have no idea why, but every friggen time i try to incorporate a nice blue into my design it ALWAYS comes out purple. dangit. its a sign. so yes, be ready for purple if and when i decide to get that domain of my own...in oh...a couple months? lol
Monday, June 04, 2001
Been cooped up in the house the last...oh..4 days or so. [going to Office Depot saturday and to lunch for 45 minutes today doesn't quite count] Haven't had anything to do. Strike that. I haven't had anybody to do anything with. Grant works weekend nights and lifts in the morning. That leaves just about 2-3 hours with me in the middle of the day...which isn't always worth the drive over so sometimes I don't see him at all. Yes, my life has come to revolve around grant's. why? Because all the friends that I used to have here all moved to the mainland. woopie. Pathetic isn't it? At least Davee is coming soon. And I suppose I still have Tanya, when she isn't working or doing house chores. *sigh* I'm trying not to get all depressed about it all but its hard when the only thing to look forward to is school and that's still 3 whole weeks away. =/
But no, I don't regret coming back.
I will make it worth it. goshdammit
But no, I don't regret coming back.
I will make it worth it. goshdammit
Sunday, June 03, 2001
Now I remember why I can't stand being around my mom at times. She does the stupidest, most annoying things as if the world only revolves around her. For example: she decided she should throw away the sauce packets for the potstickers even though the bag is only half empty and she's not the only one who eats them. All because she doesn't use it and because she's a self-centered $#@%&!!!!
argh!
I don't think I'll be able to maintain my sanity over the next year. >.<
argh!
I don't think I'll be able to maintain my sanity over the next year. >.<
Friday, June 01, 2001
Bad karma example #16: Apparently my mail hasn't been forwarded so I called the Berkeley post office to correct it and now I have to call back for the supervisor tomorrow morning at 8am Cali time. That's 5 fucking AM Hawaii time. dammit.
Example #17: The evil roomie told me I was sent a "dental claim" from my dental insurance provider. I just know this is another fuck up. Stay tuned...
GAH!!!!!!
Example #17: The evil roomie told me I was sent a "dental claim" from my dental insurance provider. I just know this is another fuck up. Stay tuned...
GAH!!!!!!
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