I don't know why but i've been really bummed this evening. I think it basically stems from thoughts going through my head about not being loved, or not being needed. Maybe this is because this weekend i'm not at the center of attention. Technically, I could've walked at graduation, but I decided against it because i'm just getting a certificate. big whoop. But this doesn't mean I'm not proud of those who are getting the attention. I'm so happy for my sister and for grant. They've come so far and they've finally achieved what they wanted. Although, my sister's graduation was hella ghetto...but what can you expect from a community college graduation i suppose [I keep thinking this, even though i know they deserve just as much props as a person who gets a PhD. i'm just not in the right state right now].

It's just so hard. I went to the mall today to look for potential gifts for people [ie, grant, sis, mentor teacher] and on the way I just got so down that I almost started crying. So I called the good roomie and she lifted my spirits greatly. She was on her way to a bar that Lester introduced her to, and while I was kinda sad that I couldn't drink a few with her, it still made me smile as I heard her describing where she was and how she got the best parking [a rarity in the bay area for sure ;P]. I just need more friends here dammit. Or I need to take more trips to the mainland. hehe. Maybe then I can hit up IKEA haha

This isn't a "feel sorry for maria now" moment, so don't. I'm just stating how I feel. Tomorrow I'll probably feel completely different. It's been so long since I've written an entry where I spilled everything out that I was afraid to do that today. So you get the short, not-so-messy version here. I think I'll start posting to the journal in 1-2 weeks. hopefully.

ok. you're excused. Time for me to fold laundry. At least I don't have to work tomorrow. yay!

dang...i spent way too much at Old Navy today. And half of the stuff i didn't *really* need, but I convinced myself that I did anyway. I might return some tho. Go figger.

I'm also going nuts with the Gyuh Ool Yunga ["winter love story"] drama. I need to know what happens! I'm such a spoler ho...like ms. evil. haha. I miss her summaries...but none for the next 2 weeks. O.o Oh the insanity! But yeah...if anyone is bored, has time, and is willing to tell me what the heck happens from episodes 9 [right after the woman arrives at the airport and asks if Joon Sang is ok] to 20 [the end] I will forever be grateful! ;P hehe

I finally checked my other junk mail email account and found this funny email:

I ran into your website when i was looking up some
geneology for a friend - Yep you guessed it: Michael
Boohar.

I have never seen "boohar" used as a noun and just
have to know - what does it mean???? and where does
it come from.

The most curious thing is that my friend's family is
from Hawaii and I wondered if that might be a common
thread.

I would appreciate any information you could give me.

Thanks. Hope your day is not BOOHAR!!! (Is that ther
right useage??)

Heidi

hehe...i dunno if i should reply and sound like a dork, or just not reply and keep them wondering forever. haha.
And what's sad is that I haven't used the word in like forever. I miss it! BOOHAR! hehe ;P

Fcuking KFVE. They've once again opted to show UH Softball in place of Charmed. As if showing charmed 1 day after it's supposed to be on isn't enough right? Who the fcuk cares about softball? WTH?!

Plus my students' semifinal women's basketball game is having technical difficulties so it won't be on for a while. grrr.

I'm all irritated now. >.<

why is it that korean girls are either named susan or esther?



hehe. you ever notice that? soooo many of them!

wow. winnie's new layout is so nice! I'm actually feeling inspired by it. Maybe i can start writing in my regular journal soon...especially since today was my last day of seminar. no more classes...almost graduation. *sniff* It's so sad! I'm gonna miss all my wonderful classmates. =..)

I hope everyone is having a great week. It's friday tomorrow. Yay!

AHHHH!!!

I'm watching GyuhOol Yunga and its just exactly like that "AAAAHHHHH!!" Gut wrenching and emotional and you just can't help but scream at the tv. haha. I love korean dramas. And Bae Yong Jun is soooo hot!!! yummy. Dammit for having to wait 6 days till the next episode. ;P

i'm so mean and grouchy sometimes.

but is it really too much to expect a bf to make at least one visit in 6 days when you're sick and not feeling well? And especially when you've been cooped up indoors for 3 fricken days? I think not.

So yes, I complained and guilt-tripped him. He deserves it. hmph

You are a Baroness!
Spirited, Captivating, Stunning!

You are a woman of worldly wisdom and experience. You are sensitive, protective (maybe even motherly), you are highly respected and praised. Your gentility and grace always shine through. You have a very beautiful moral nature that defines who you are. You are a woman others seek to befriend and they would never want to cross you.



Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.
Art used (c) by JonathonArt.com

WOOHOO!!

UH won the NCAA Men's Volleyball Championship!

..and yet, not a word on cnn's sports page. hmph! bastids.

You are totally the über-sophisticate. You've practically have the world wrapped around your finger because you've got the attitude, look, and personality. You truly are all that (forget that Rachael Leigh Cook chick!), but you think nothing of it because you're completely committed to helping those in need. You are incredible dependable and caring, and so this makes you very likeable. The absolute most important thing to you in your life is your family, so when something threatens them, you unleash hell and bitch-slap the bad guys! Your bond with your family is incredible strong like the one that Piper, Phoebe, and Paige share, and you intend to keep it that way!

What WB drama are you?

[i was really dawson's creek dammit]

You are Drew Barrymore!

You acted in cool movies like:
Charlie's Angels, Never Been Kissed, The Wedding Singer,
Scream, Poison Ivy and E.T.


Take the "Which Hollywood Princess are you?"
quiz @ planetag.de

[darn]

woohoo! 4th day of fever.

I know i said no more sick posts but i just chucked my dinner and i need a medium to vent dammit.
I'm actually staying home tomorrow. And *gasp* I may even go to the doctor. whee!
okie...off to cool myself down...and hopefully some constant sleep this time around.

...i'm really starting to get irritated about this blog...so sorry if you are too. =/ i think that's a sign to take a little break.
till i'm well again...hopefully...

okay...no more posts about being sick. I know that my being sick is nothing compared to what other people go through. I'm just a big baby sometimes. I do hope, though, that certain people do get better soon. I don't like having friends that aren't doing so well. I feel so helpless. =/

*sending out sun and warmth and healthiness [what little i have left that is hehe] to those people* get well soon!

you know...this whole being sick thing is getting tiresome. I mean, besides being tired from being sick in the first place.

First I'm super ill with aches all over, then I'm fine. Then I'm stuffed up, then I'm fine. Now I'm hacking up half my lungs and my dinner. [sorry for being so graphic ;P]

Being sick sucks. I can't even stand the fact that my abs are hurting from the coughing. Normally that fact alone comforts me when i'm sick because its almost like a workout. now? Nothing. gah.

At least my portfolio is done now. Maybe it's all this stress that made me sick. I hope i'm still sick enough to skip out on work on Saturday. hehe. If i'm going to have to suffer through this, that's the least I can hope for! =P

"get well please"

isn't that so cute! gosh i luv him. =)

good night!

YAY!




which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

it's a miracle. i went to sleep in pain and soo utterly miserable and i woke up totally fine! Well, except for being a little light headed and weak.

YAY FOR DRUGS! =)

being a baby is fun sometimes. ;P

marbhurd: leeeeessssssssssstttttttteeeeeer
me: save me
Lester: hello:D
me:: i'm dying
me:: bleh
L: what?
me:: i'm dying
me:: you're just going to sit there and ask questions when someone tells you they're dying? remind me to never come to you when I'm in life or death situations
me:: haha
L: what are you dying from
me:: i'm sick =(
L: :[
me:: pity me. lol
L: what kind of sick
L: *hug*
me:: i have body aches, possible fever....i woke up with intense sinus pressure this mornign and my back hurts like i just got run over...not like i'd know but you get the gist. lol
L: doctor honey
me:: how does one become so yuckie overnight?
L: :[
L: i dont know
L: *soup for u*
me:: in your case...you become yuckie from having one too many sake bombs
me:: hahaha
L: lol
L: where is grant
me:: school?
me:: i normally don't like being sick and just suck it up...but just this once i want to be a baby about it and get taken care of. haha
L: awww
L: poor baby
L: :P

yeah...that's all i want right now. poor me indeed. haha i'm such a baby.

ugh. i'm sick.

Body aching, head-about-to-explode-pounding, sinus pressure, and a possible fever to boot.

I had to leave school early. ugh.
I can't be sick! I have way too much shit to do this week. its not fair. =..(
*crawls back into bed*

and the addiction continues...

so i'm checking the starbucks website just to see if they had any store hours [dont so i have to call now dengit] when i browsed upon a nifty little thing called a starbucks card [original no?] I actually thought it'd be a good [or bad, depending on how you look at it] idea for me to get one...until i read:
At this time, the Starbucks Card is not yet accepted at all airport, grocery and bookstore locations, or stores in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Guam and outside North America.

dammit all to hell. first they didn't have white mocha until just recently and now this. how the hell am i supposed to live comfortably with conditions like this?! we don't even have a freakin target! grrr.

someone save me!

I found out today that I got a 15 cent raise as of April 1st.

WOOHOO!
[sincerety or sarcasm...take it as you will. ;P]

dammit...there goes my goal of not getting coffee. I needed to get massive amounts of work finished so i went to starbucks to work...and ordered a grande white mocha! agh!! and now here it is 11:45pm and i'm still wide awake and wired. dengit.

But hey, at least i got soooo much shit done. I'm so proud of myself!! =) yay!

I think I may be forming an addiction to Starbucks. It's Horrible! Not the drinks really...just the fact that i'm wasting my damn money there. So far I've tried to avoid getting any kind of coffee...well, I failed only one of 4 times...so at least then I won't get that other addiction for caffeine. dammit. It's not like I can't steam my own milk and add syrup right? ugh

Are you Addicted to the Internet?

55%

Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

link via luckykat via julie! =P

i think i get too bored sometimes. Questions keep popping into my head. Like...

If you were on death row, what would be your final meal?
--Sushi, jjajangmyun, and a strawberry icee.

if the world was ending at midnight tonight, what would you do between now and then?
--tell all the people close to me that i love them, absorb the sights/feelings of all the things i love about the world/my life, then end the night by falling asleep while snuggled next to grant.

Would you rather be cast for Real World or Road Rules?
--tough choice...though i think road rules would be more fun, its just a boring show to watch for me. So i'd much rather live in a new place and get pissed off by annoying roommates. ;P

If you could live the life of any tv character, who would it be and why?
--I'd either be Sydney Bristow on Alias because she kicks ass, while seeing the world, and has a kick ass dad, or I'd be one of the sisters on Charmed because they kick ass too, using their special powers, and look great while doing it too. [we all know that its really because i'm jealous of their sisterly bond, right? lol.]

Make it stop!!!

ugh. i'm hungry. strike that. i'm starving. I decided not to pick up something on the way home from school. but then dinner at home sucked ass [yes i'm picky...yet cooked frozed teri chicken with garlic potatoes...no rice!!! isn't all that great if you ask me. i need rice dammit] so i thought, ok, maybe i'll go out. But then i needed to borrow money from my mom, if only because it was too much hassle to go to the atm at 8pm. but then she wanted me to pick up stamps because it was "on my way" which is sorta was, but really wasn't. so then i decided i'd rather not eat than have to go through all the hassle of feeling indebted and forced to do shit. And even though i was starving my stubbornness refuses to let me go eat.

After half an hour, i at one of those little one serving cups of vanilla ice cream with the wooden spoon. That was my dinner.

boohoo. my tummy hurts. I think i'm starting slowly starve myself, even though i do seem to eat. I need to find better food. but yet...i also have to stop being so damn picky.

dammit. i'm half mad at myself because i'm not eating [i keep telling myself that i have to eat only things that are good for me, or else don't eat at all], half mad at this household for having only bad food to consume, and half hoping i can finally eat a well balanced and delicious meal in the near future. I swear my mom's cooking sucks ass. But why complain when i'm not the one cooking right? bleh. and yes, i'm a math teacher. that made up 150%. =P

did you know that the dominant white gene in a cat, combined with blue eyes, has been linked to deafness in cats? no wonder one of my old cats didn't seem to respond often.

yeah, i'm a geek reading up on cat color genes. pretty interesting stuff ya know. lol

i finally got to talk to Won after months. yay! Unfortunately, she got laid off from arthur anderson [stupid houston partners!!!]...but good news is that she's happy about it! she never liked auditing [and she's now gonna pursue her real interest...tax. haha don't ask me why]. i'm happy for her...even though she's still unemployed. But she says she's gonna come back to visit for a while in the meantime. yay!!

i need more friends in the "honolulu area" [haha. sounds better than "hawaii" if only because the latter implies that i have NO friends in this entire state. lol]

oh..and the kittens have disappeared. my mom scared them i think! but i think they're still somewhere in our backyard. the search is on!

late last night i heard what i thought were kitten meows. its a unique and cute sound. But it was dark outside so i couldn't see anything. well, i just checked now and we do indeed have kittens in our yard! The mom, [this evil black cat] apparently gave birth under our hedge to 3 black kittens with blue eyes! They're so cute. Too bad the mom is evil and hisses and looks like it'll attack you at any moment. Let's hope that keeps my mom from getting them to the humane society any time soon. hehehe.

i miss my old cat...the kitten producing machine. haha. at least then i had the trust so i could actually hold and play with them. I seriously need a cat soon. =)

yay! i've gone jogging 2 days in a row! yay me!

i would've done more than the 25 situps today, but my abs still hurt from yesterday's 200. maybe i should rest a week again. haha. and maybe i'll work myself up to 3 days next week. hmm...or maybe not.

but still..yay me!

ok. things are a little better. its nice to at least get a small resolution out before the weekend.

yay friday!

i really tried to be pleasant and understanding. But instead i guess i was just too sarcastic and indirect. I thought it had blown over until i was saying goodbye and things blew up again, just as predicted below. dammit. Now i don't know where to go from here...but if my horoscope for today is at least part correct, maybe i'll see a way soon.

not only am i hurting him, but i'm hurting myself in the process.
i hate this.

damn. i hate when my horoscope is right and tells me not to be stubborn and unpleasant...only because it knows me too well. dammmit

"A clash, squall or conflict over career, money or love could blow up unexpectedly. You would do better to deal with it directly, forthrightly and expeditiously instead of compounding the felony by being stubborn, aggressive, icy, unpleasant or, incredibly, opting to ignore the brouhaha in the misplaced hope that it will cure itself."

its never fun to hear criticism from people you love. Actually, not really criticism..but just areas where you need improvement. And it doesn't help when my sometimes-on-rare-occasions-low-self-esteem translates these things into "you're ugly, fat, and letting yourself go."

hmph. i'm half mad and half depressed. i don't know if i should punch a wall or cry myself to sleep.
bah. i hate when that happens.

don't you love hate email? i know i do. it makes me laugh every time. its refreshing actually.

and i love how people assume i'm talking about other [online] drama that's going on with other people. sheesh. like i have nothing better to do than worry about that?

oh yeah...and i still think that sloane might be sydney's dad...even though i don't want him to be. they keep using the line "what if sydney was your daughter..." or something to that effect. hello!

poor jack. not so kick ass in tonight's episode. =/

who the heck decides to turn the channel in the middle of a show? My dad that's who. And not just any show...but Alias. And not just in the middle of Alias, but right at the end when they're talking and i miss everything leading up to them making out. wth? What the hell did he say?

yes, my temper got the better of me [and for something so trivial. =(]. I am such a bitch when I get started. I'm mean too. I think i need to work on that.

Actually, no, i just need to move out. I am a lot more sane and calm when I'm away from my family. Reason #one billion and one.

oh yeah....and the merrie monarch festival this year rocked. check some of it out.

aiyah...

there's so much shit hitting the fan the last few days. not good. I just hope that all people involved can finally put matters to rest and move on peacefully. Grudges are bad...very bad. And bitterness eats away at a person's soul. Just dump that extra baggage.

This goes for you too.

the day in review:

woke up with puffy eyes
half of my 2nd period was on a field trip
school breezed by
ate not-so-good sushi [the unagi was mushy!!]
had yummy green tea smoothie boba
car almost blew up when i got to school
class ended early
muscles hurt from yesterday. *dying*
grant is a sweetie and i miss him daily
many hopes and wishes to move out *formulating plan*
going to sleep now...Jal ja!!

i seriously need a cat.

the shit hit the fan tonight. Now grant dispises my family even more. So do I, in fact. My eyes are extremely red and puffy as proof.

Basically what it boils down to is that my reputation is no longer pristine in my mom's eyes and my sister has no concept of morality.

I *need* to move out soon.

From a convo a little while ago:
...
me: ok. gotta go jogging. ttyl
R: what
R: you got back into that?

WTH kind of response is that? And let it be known that i find this individual extremely irritating these days. I never want my children to have him as a teacher...ever.

During our trip to Hanauma Bay last week, grant finally decided that he had gotten too out of shape and flabby. He couldn't stand seeing the "non-beautiful" bodies of old tourists and vowed he'd never let himself get that far. So he started working out again this week. Damn him. Now i'm getting inspired to work out [and floss daily too, but that's an entirely different story] so I finally went jogging today for the first time in months. Dammit. I'm so out of shape. I felt like my lungs and trachea were about to cave in at one point. Not a nice feeling. But even though I walked about half way, i'm very proud of myself because I took this big first step to getting back in shape. yay me! I even did 100 situps!

now my sister is doing taebo, and even though she's lost a bunch of pounds [mainly due to pills] her ass and lower body still looks bad. Sorry to say, but it doesn't look like taebo works that part very much...from my point of view. ;P

dammit to hell. I hate people making me feel so damn guilty...especially when i deserve it. GAH!!!!!

dammit dammit dammit dammit.
grrrrrr.

sometimes i wonder if its time to just throw in the towel. this blogging and web journalling really doesn't fit into my schedule much anymore. Maybe its because i'm still in school. But even when i get out, i'll still be in school most of the time. Plus, you know how teens are, they're even more connected than I am so the chances of them finding this space is more than likely. That scares me. But still, i don't know if i'm ready to say goodbye just yet. we'll see. Or maybe I'm just too sentimental to let things i'm attached to go.

bah. i need sleep. At least i can still use this place to vent. hehe.

boo. i don't want to go back to school tomorrow. You can't make me! *pout*

HAPPIE EASTER!!!

Blade II kicked ass.
Okonomiyaki Chibo Restaurant in the Royal Hawaiian Shopping center also kicks ass.
Hiking Diamond Head, on the other hand, kicked MY ass, or at least my calves. owie.

More elaboration on this later...hopefully.

going to Hanauma bay today. Then I'm cooking dinner for the first time in like a year. wheee.

last night after visiting a friend of grant's and her family we went to sports authority to get some snorkel equipment. You know, its really good to ask the sales guy questions, even when you think you know it all and you think "its just snorkel stuff, how hard is it to choose?" well all i gotta say is that i learned a bunch yesterday. So if you ever need snorkel equipment, remember that Dolfino brand or any vinyl = bad, and silicone = very good. lol

yay! time to go!!

well, as it turns out, absolutely nobody is coming to visit me this spring break. dammit. I took off from work and everything [which is a good thing in regards to sunday if only because they're making everyone go in even earlier...than the 6 am start no less!] and so i'm missing out on prime extra money time. Oh well, i really should use this time to catch up with lesson plans and the like, but still...i need a vacation.

having someone coming to visit was my way of having at least a mini touristy vacation, and now i don't have anything. I'm thinking of making grant take me camping, but i doubt that'll fly with him. grr. It doesn't help that its overcast today either. I think i need a day at the beach. Then I could get my tan, get my vacation fix, as well as try to finish the book i finally got around to reading [I Elizabeth] Hopefully this week won't be a total waste. *crossing fingers*

At least I've been sorta productive so far, washing my sheets. woo.

wow. no post since monday. doesn't even seem that long.

where have i been? oh around. my obsession with charmed continues. lol its sad really. i've also turned to irc once again. not to chat of course. I'm not that sad! haha.

and wow, i still can't believe the first week of spring break went by already. dammit. too fast. but i'm glad i've had time to spend it with grant. now if only tammy would hurry up and resolve her little travel issue.

oh, and i passed my intake interview with the DOE. yay!

i miss the bay area.

yeah..just thought you should know. ;P

i'm so into Charmed [on theWB] now that i almost feel like a dork. At least it balances with the ass kicking from Alias right?

in other news...lester isn't coming to visit because he's a big dork. but its ok...it'll give me some down time to work out other matters. Hope you have a great spring break in LA lester!!

wow. $281.20 for round trip from SFO to HNL or HNL to SFO.

Dammit for me being a teacher and not being able to go when its valid!!

*whew* i'm so glad it's the start of my two week spring break now. Though i now find myself wishing people weren't coming to visit [no offense lester] if only so i could spend the entire time just sleeping and vegging my life away. that, and cursing the world. heh.

I also have my DOE interview on the 19th. I'm afeared, especially when I was given one question in class yesterday and i gave the worst possible answer. It's not my fault i got a question dealing with my least knowledgable topic: "how do you motivate students?" well shit, I can't help it. I'm still trying. hopefully it'll come to me in the next 4 days.

until then...all i want to do is wilt away under the covers of my bed...

but dammit, I have to clean my entire room first because of lester and tammy.
[i really do look forward to seeing you tho. so don't take offense to this. i'm just blowing steam]

i take it back. things aren't really resolved now. it was more of a quick fix, and the more i think about that, the more frustrated and angry i become. I really think i need a vacation dammit.

ok...things are mostly resolved now. I really don't like how I get an attitude nor try to avoid things when I'm upset. I also don't like crying myself to sleep more than 2 days in a row. So hopefully it'll be better tomorrow.

it's so bad when i feel hurt or angry at someone because then I just try to avoid them all together. I know its the chicken shit way to go, but i just can't help it. grr.

gah.

just slept 6.5 hours. now its back to sleep. oh joy.

erm...new journal entry posted..after like a month. um yeah. that's all.
good bye.

and you ever feel really disappointed/sad/angry when people don't do what you want them to do, even when you haven't told them what you want them to do in the first place? yeah...i'm just weird like that.

here's a question...

am i the only one who can't access tammyloh.com? paul was saying he was reading her site the other day and i'm just like oi? all i get is either an error or "registrars.com." what i should do is probably ask her myself. hehe. *shy* ;P

i miss my old reads. =/

dang...i must've sounded like a complete idiot when i answered the phone just now. It was ringing and no one was picking it up, and so I ran all the way from my room to the other side of the house where the phone is and answered it, honestly thinking it was grant, because he normally calls around this time.

Imagine my surprise when I hear a different voice...and still yet, asking for me. Turns out its my old math teacher with more information about getting that position at the school. dammit! Talk about sounding unprofessional and just uncool. haha. Plus the attempts at small talk between us just wasn't clicking right. I hope this doesn't spell out doom for my future career there. He'll be my superior as the dept head even!

And of course it doesn't help that i used to like him when i was 17. lol

for those frequent hawaii visitors....do you have any recommendations for what i should plan for my upcoming guests? [dang them for coming at different times! i'm gonna have to go places twice! haha]

*sob* i stupidly cracked one of my 2 ikea glasses. yes, i'm sad over this. we don't have ikea here dammit!!


but not to fret...lester is now coming to hawaii for spring break. YAY!! now i have to convince him to bring me ikea stuff as payment for me being his tourguide. lol

listening to: Original Broadway Cast Recording of Les Miserables

Gosh i love this cd set. It remains my favorite uhh..."soundtrack"? And I haven't even seen the production! I keep meaning to, but it's been years since it was in town. dangit. one day...


in other news...yay! trading spaces at 8pm!

dangit for certain online journal people talking about it so much that i finally gave in and secretly became hooked about a month and a half ago. So every day I come home and its the first thing I watch. In the process I've also hooked my mother. Now we're looking forward to 8 o'clock. hehe.

10 Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership
By Kent Keith


1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love and trust them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs but follow top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

9. People really need help by may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you may get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world your best anyway.

i have this urge to buy underwear now. Nice, comfortable regular underwear. [mainly because i need more]. However, I also have an urge to buy the cute/sexy stuff too. dang it! i need to save money. why does some underwear have to be so dang expensive!

I wish i could write a real entry in my journal but there just aren't enough hours in a day for me to do that anymore. *sigh*

anyway, tonight I had dinner with this guy I went to high school with. He's basically the smartest guy I know. Well, he was in hs anyway. He was our valedictorian [out of two], got a full ride to harvard [from the navy], and is now learning about nuclear stuffs for his time on a sub. fun fun. In hs, Chris said he was going to run for president one day, and he basically had all of our votes. But now he says he doesn't want the job. He'd be happy going as far as VP one day. ;P

Have I also mentioned that he and I were voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in our senior yearbook? [yeah, hilarious isn't it?] Maybe it was because we were smart...or something...or because we seemed to have that ambition and dedication to succeed. Only now, 6 years later, if you looked at us, you'd see two of the most proficient slackers and goofs. =) Life works in mysterious ways. Then again, he did go to Harvard and is an officer in the Navy...while I attended UH and I'm becoming a teacher? Who the hell voted for me anyway? [I really should scan that yearbook pic one day though. we looked so geeky]

oh yay! dinner at grant's house! yum!

Things to do today:

- Grade Alg II tests
- Grade Alg I hw
- Compose [easy] Alg II quiz
- Write self-evaluation and note on standards I've addressed
- Fill out DOE app
- Write lesson plan for prof.
- Record/watch Alias and Dateline [yay, i said dateline. ;P]

and did i mention...

i miss tammy [aka 'good roomie'].
i miss lester.
i miss getting drunk with them.

damn them for having a party tonight!!!

..while i'm spending my night backing up my computer no less. its not fair.

i will never again try to meddle with computer things above me.

after trying to install microsoft equation editor for word, and failing, then un- and re- installing office a couple times but still failing, and then figuring out that word came installed on my computer and then trying to uninstall that and installing office after only to have a panic attack saying it needed a valid product...then trying to restore my comp to a time when things were ok before...FOUR times and finally getting my word back then having my firewall messed up, then fixed, then my antivirus disappear...

I finally thought to look in my box of cds that came with the computer and found the antivirus install cd...then had to reupdate all my definitions and such...and lo and behold, i found the Word cd that i could've just used in the first place to update my word to have the equation editor.

for TWO days I've sat here trying to get my baby back to normal. *sob* i think i'm gonna go shoot myself now. have a nice weekend.

gah!

i slept 12 hours last night. well, 12 minus the 30 minutes when i woke up in the middle of the night to get ready to go back to bed and then waiting to get sleepy again.

I guess you could blame it on my period 5 who really started pissing me off and aggravated my painful headache. grrr. at least i don't have them today. yay.

but yes, i still want to be a teacher...for some weird reason.

I am apparently going through some kind of PMS phase. either that or I'm just turning into a bitch to the world. Ugh. It so doesn't feel good to bitch all the time. I just need time to be left alone, but i can't even get that in my own home. I wish i could just get away. I wouldn't mind living in a cabin in the mountains for a couple weeks or so. dammit. if only i could.

freakin A. My dad is a frickin drunk. I totally missed at least the first 20 minutes of Alias because my dad was supposed to record it but didn't. argh!! Alcohol kills braincells!!

dammit all to hell

this totally cancels out my good news of getting a call from my hs math teacher. bah!

Checklist for the weekend:
Call parent regarding son
Construct Algebra II test
Correct mountain of hw and quizes [by far the worst of the bunch]
Watch Alias [yay!]

wish me luck ;P

Except for the elation at job prospects, I'm kinda sad today...for two reasons.

First is because Charmed wasn't aired today. damn KFVE screwing around with programming.

Secondly because Kwan didn't win gold last night. It's sad that after a defeat in Nagano and 4 years of skating excellence, she couldn't finish up her collection of Olympic gold and then turn pro. But sometimes its just not meant to be I guess. She's still the best American figure skater in at least the last few decades by far. All she needs to do now is blow everyone out of the water at worlds to prove she's the best. Then I'll be happy when she turns pro. Then it'll be at least a mostly happy ending. ;P

But still...I want to see my Charmed!!! >.<

yay! I am one step closer to having a teaching job come Fall. But then again, math teachers are supposedly in high demand so no biggie there right? Well, the interested school is actually my alma mater, which i really would like to go back to to teach. It doesn't hurt that my old math teacher [who i had a mild crush in my junior and senior years] is now head of the math department. lol. And he's going to call me soon about my prospects! yay! The thought of having my future employment stable and available makes me very happy and less worried now. This is always a good thing.

dammit. what the hell. kwan didn't win. i'm all sad now. grrrr.

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Cleric


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?
link via luckykat =P

It's odd how reading old chat sessions with people can make you feel. Both happy and sad conversations bring back so many memories and so much emotion. Makes me consider getting back in touch with some of those people. I kinda miss them. =/ We'll see though. Sometimes people just drift apart for certain reasons...

dang...i had a four day weekend from school and I didn't grade even one paper. how wrong is that? Now i'm gonna look like the slacker I really am. ;P

but i had so much fun with grant today. I miss whole day dates.

good night! =D

dammit...i tried to post this yesterday morning...at 630am even! but blogger is a bitch. heh. now its late..boohar...


Happy Valentine's Day!!!
[this is grant's present. hehe i love buying him stuff]

Sae hae bok mani badeuseyo!!

Year of the horse baby!! My time to shine. hehe. =)

Now I have a craving for gau. its all Grant's fault for finally giving me my first taste yesterday. I love how his family does all these different traditions. First chinese pretzels, then the mochi, now gau. Mmm so good. ;P

So the new year is quickly approaching [lunar for those of you who are so not with it. hehe] and i'm so screwed. Everyone has been talking about cleaning house and such by the time the new year starts to get rid of bad fortune and make way for good luck. Well, if you didn't already know, i've been working my ass off every single day [ok, so i spend a few more minutes on the computer and in front of the tv than i should, but give me a break, i need one every now and then] and i'm already so dead tired I feel as though I've just come back from a trip and am suffering from massive jet lag. My bad habits of keeping things messy doesn't help matters much. eesh. Well, I didn't have too much bad luck this past year so maybe the new one will be just as good. But still...i'll try to clean up some.

...after I figure out what to do about Vday. O.o

isn't it funny how songs can trigger memories? Here I am listening/watching the video of Ahn Jae Wook's InYuhn. I love this song, and the video is always sad to watch if you've seen the drama Annyoung Nae Sarang [goodbye my love] starring AJW and Kim Hee Sun. But I also started thinking about when this song came out...2000. That was a rough year. At least the first half was anyway. I used to just sit and listen to this song on repeat as I sat staring at the computer screen in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face. It seemed like I was depressed for so long, and yet, looking back, it seems like so long ago. I never thought I would ever be happy again, but just months later I found love in Grant and started a new life. I couldn't be happier. It's just amazing how so much can change within a year. I hope that sadness never comes back and my happiness stays...if not forever, then for at least a very long time. =)

yay! Alias is finally on tonight! i can't wait to see what happens! Have i mentioned how much i think Victor Garber is cool and kick ass? =)

dangit. i dunno what to get grant for vday. I always have this problem. Because xmas, his bday, and vday are so close, by the time vday comes around I'm not only broke, but i'm also out of ideas. grrr. And after getting him the "perfect" gift for his bday, what the heck can follow? Boy did i screw myself this year. heh. ;P any ideas? maybe i'll just wrap myself with a ribbon. lol.

boohar.

one of my favoritest professors at UH passed away this past weekend. As a teacher he was great and always supportive, and his knowledge of both History and Science was astounding. He certainly leaves a huge void in the learning community and i'm sure he will be dearly missed. =(

just finished watching another episode of Areumdaun Naldeul. [again, yay for subtitles!] What the hell is up with the girl always having lukemia?! I'm just like, frick, if you want drama, just let her get hit by a car or something. Why the same disease over and over? And I still think Ryu Shi Won is a pu$$y. Damn he irks. And you know who else irks? Lee Jung Hyun's character. Sorry scott, i like her as a singer and all, but her character just makes me yell at the tv. ;P Now I have to wait another 6 days to find out if MinChul [Lee Byung Hun's character ..dang he's cute] goes running back up because he can sense something's wrong. I hate it when people are so stupid and stubborn they go against all their feelings of love. eesh. damn dramas.

i need to make a trip to starbucks soon. not because i'm craving coffee, just because i feel like it. maybe i can become one of those people who reads/does work while sipping their drink AT starbucks. I normally just grab my drink and leave. heh.

i also have this urge to go to the gym again, but i have no sufficient funds to start my membership again. dammit. blame it on the best friend email. She talked about reading her yoga book while in the sauna and on the stationary bike. I want to work out on the elliptical machines again! grrr...it doesn't help that i'm getting chubby and giggly. ugh. disgusting.

But at least the best friend still continues to make me laugh. [yay for emails!] Here's the latest, or at least part of it:

Oh, I have bronchitis. Personally I don't really think I do
but the nurse practitioner doesn't know what else to mark
for my condition so she circled that. Anyway, I have
an antibiotic and robitussin with codeine. Yeah, at
my request, the codeine part. She gave me something
before and it just wasn't cuttin' it. Altogether I
was supposed to take 300mg of those pills. But I read
in my book that I can take up to 600mg a day so I did.
Doubled it myself. That could be a bad habit right there.

I guess its a good thing to be a nursing student? haha. Hope she doesn't turn drug addict because then she'll have even more problems with her welding! ;P

yay for subtitles! I'm going to go watch my korean drama, Areumdaun Naldeul [Beautiful Days] in a couple minutes. yay!

[but boo for Ryu Shi Won being so gay. ugh. why do they always have to cast him? :P]

i miss korea. i want to go back. its been way too long. I think i even dreamed about going there last night. its so damn strange. but what i wouldn't give to go shopping, eat, and enjoy the culture again. i don't think i'll ever get to experience that there ever again. vacations aren't the same as living/dorming there. *sigh* but who knows. grant seems to be leaning toward moving to japan come graduation. *shrug* who knows where life will take us right? ;P

Friday and Saturday nights were occupied with grading papers. well, not so much Saturday, but I did do some.

Tonight I had to put aside the papers so I could put together a chapter test. Well, not exactly a whole chapter, but all the parts that we've covered so far. Do you know how hard it is to do this? You would think you could just magically snap your fingers and it would all come together, but oh no. You have to find relevant problems, some problems that are fairly easy, and others that are challenging without being overly so nor overly easy. dammit. It doesn't help that these are the students who aren't the best when it comes to math skills. I wonder if they'll think I'm a teacher from hell. [too late] I promise i'm not making it hard on purpose though, honest.

YAY!! I found my watch. at least today wasn't a total bust. =p

here's another thought...

today was groundhog's day and the official ground hog saw his shadow so that means 6 more weeks of winter for all you poor souls on the mainland right?

well, here's the thing...
If the groundhog sees his shadow, that means that the sun is out, which should mean that its gonna be an early spring...right?
And who exactly determines whether or not the groundhog actually saw his shadow? Its not like it can stand up and tell you he did.

damn traditions. they always confuse me.

dammit! i can't find my watch! its driving me up the wall!

i should've known that it was just the first sign of my day going awry. after i left for work this morning, sans watch, i caught the freeway only to notice flashing blue lights and lots of red flares further up my route. just my luck, there was a fatal accident in the middle of the freeway and only the shoulders were open. So I took the right shoulder and I guess I was driving too fast [too early = no logical thinking re: safety] because as I passed the cops guiding us through, one of them yelled at me! Or at least I think he was. Add on to this the fact that my curious nature got the better of me and i caught a glimpse of the sheet covered body. =( The whole incident there bothered me for at least the next 3 hours. *sigh* mortality sucks.

Strange though. it was a pedestrian who was killed..on a freeway.